Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'n Roll - Continued

"I've taken her to the ER a few times and she leaves as soon as she starts to sober up. I tried to get her into rehab, but she wouldn't go. I tried to get her committed, but they wouldn't take her. I don't know where the drugs and alcohol come from. I don't give it to her and take it when I find it, but she must have some kind of secret supply line or something. I searched all her stuff before we came and didn't find anything.

"John. She just wants to die if she can't be with you and the girls. I'm sorry, but... Damn. Ok. Truth time. I love her, John. I would marry her in a second even knowing what she's done. But she doesn't want me. She'll never want me. She only wants you.

"I'm not asking you to take her back. I know how she hurt you. To be honest, I don't know how you put up with it for so long. But, I'm just asking if you will take her in. Help her get better. Save her life. Please. If you don't help, I think she'll be gone in a few weeks."

"Ryan, I..."

The three girls bolted down the stairs. "Dad! Don't be a jerk! You have to take her in! It's MOM! It's almost Christmas! We have to do it. We have to help her. please!" They all agreed and pleaded with their eyes.

"Girls, of course we'll help. My only thought was that we should take her to the hospital and maybe she would stay if one of us was with her all the time.

"Yes, Ryan. I, we will be glad to help. What do I need to do?"

"She's in the car. It's going to be unsettling girls. You might want to wait to see her until after we get her tucked in."

"Shit, Ryan. How bad is she?"

"Come see for yourself. We'll have to carry her in. She can't walk right now. And I have a whole van full of supplies."

"Supplies?"

"You'll understand when you see her. Vitamins, protein shakes, electrolyte stuff, diapers. A bunch of stuff. You'll need all of it and more, probably."

Walking to the van, Em was asleep or passed out, reclined on the seat. Limp.

"Holy shit, Ryan. She's skin and bones. She looks awful. Let's get her in and up the stairs to our big bed. Girls! Can you start carrying in some of the stuff from the van? I'll call you when we have her squared away. Don't worry. She'll be fine. We'll take good care of her, OK?"

As she was was carried through the front door, the girls gasped and started to cry. "Is she going to die, Daddy?"

"No. Don't worry. Together we will make her better OK?" They struggled but got her up the stairs.

"John, before we put her in bed, I think she needs to get in the shower again. She's kind of...ripe. She hasn't really been taking care of those things right. I can step out or leave or...

"Shit, Ryan. You've been doing this for months. So one more time is not a big deal. Come on.

"I will need a briefing. Shit, I need more than a briefing. I need to find out how to take care of her."

A half hour later they had her clean and in bed. Ryan laid out everything he was doing and what to watch for.

"John, withdrawing from alcohol may not be an easy thing. She may get all screwy and very sick. And if she looks too bad she needs to go to the ER. A lot of what she took though were drugs so she may not have as bad time with it. I've tried to write down as much as I could, but she's different each day. I hope that because she's home, she'll want to wake up. You know, since you and the girls are here. And there won't be anyone to drop alcohol or stuff off. I still don't know how they do it.

"And, John. I've brought her financial stuff. I picked it up from our manager. I only took a quick glance so I don't know any of the details."

"Financial stuff. What the heck are you talking about?"

"Did she ever talk to you about money or what she was making?"

"Nope. She never said a word about it. I tried to press the issue several times and she just got pissed and said she didn't care about the money, so I let it drop. I guessed it wasn't going so well."

"Just the opposite. She never wanted to think about anything but the music. So I worked with our manager to get all her money put directly into an investment account. That firm does the taxes and everything else. The way the group is set up, she actually gets 40% since she writes all the songs and, hell, she arranges most of them as well, John. We are making shit loads of money. With the tour, the downloads, the paraphernalia, promotional and tv stuff. She's also sold a number of songs to other singers or groups. She's loaded. She actually has millions in her accounts."

"What? You're kidding me. I never knew."

"I don't think she knows either. On tour and at the studios everything is paid for and she has a charge card for all her incidentals. Our manager and and his team take care of everything else. If she needs more equipment or whatever, it's a business expense so she charges it.

"She has never touched it. Like, for a decade. I don't even think she knows she has it. Just let's it sit there and build up. With the investments she has, which are kind of like mine, I think, the amount has probably ballooned. She has the assets to get anything she needs.

"Right. So John, do you think you're set for now? Here's my number. Call or text for anything. Please keep me posted. And if it's OK, I would like to check in from time to time to see how she's doing. She'll probably hate me for this, so, if you're both agreeable...."

"That'd be great, Ryan. Maybe the girls are done and we can let them up to see her. Can I get you something to eat or drink before you go?"

"No. I'll just grab something on the way. Believe it or not, I'm less than an hour away. I tried to make sure we were pretty close in case anything bad happened. Please call. And good luck. I'll keep my fingers crossed."

"Thanks for taking care of her, Ryan. I'll keep you posted.

"Girls! Let me have a word with you before we go upstairs. Your Mom has been very, very sick and has not been eating much. She's lost a lot of weight. Right now she is sound asleep. I don't know how long she'll be asleep. Could be a long time from the way she looks.

"One of us is going to have to stay with her all the time and just be ready. When she wakes up she may be confused, angry, or who knows what so just come and get me right away. She may throw up, make a mess in the bed or try to get up. She will need help getting up. She will be weak and dizzy. Get me! If she looks like she is getting worse. Get me! Got it? Get me for anything. I'll be checking on her a couple times each hour, but I'd like one or two of you to sit next to the bed all the time.

"Daddy! It doesn't even look like Mom. What's wrong with her?"

"Don't cry, Laura. She's been sick and we'll take good care of her. She'll be OK," said Hailey pulling her into a tight hug.

"Your sister's right, Laura. She's just sleeping. Hailey, Laura. Why don't you two watch her for the first couple hours. Chris and I can go through all that stuff that Ryan brought and see what we have. If she wakes up, call me. But try to get her to drink some water. I'm sure she's really dehydrated.

Section 2

"FUCK! I feel like shit! And my fucking head is killing me. God! I'm gonna barf. I need my buddies weed and whiskey and then the gentle blue pill to put me back to sleep. Why can't I just ghost myself?"

Reaching inside her pillow case and then between the mattresses. "That fucker! He took my stuff again. Quit trying to save me, Ryan. RY....!

"What the fuck?...." As she was crushed in a bear hug, head still on the pillow. "Mom! Mom! You're awake! I've missed you so much. Are you feeling OK? Here. Dad says you need to drink water. I'm sorry. I was supposed to watch you, but I had to go to the bathroom."

"Hailey? Hailey! What the f...I mean what the heck are you doing here? Are you really here?"

"Look around. You're home, Mom! You're in your bedroom. We'll take good care of you and make you better. Dad says you'll be fine. It will just take some time. I'll go get him."

"No! No, Hailey! Don't get him. He can't see me like this. I'm a mess and so ashamed. He can't see me like this, please?," and she started to sob.

Tearing up, "Mom, it's OK. Dad's already seen you. He and Ryan carried you upstairs took you into the shower to clean you up. You were kinda stinky."

"Your Dad and Ryan gave me a shower last night? Your Dad and Ryan? How is that even possible?"

"They cleaned you up while we unloaded the car. One of them had to hold you while one cleaned. You were pretty limp. Heck you've been asleep for 36 hours. But we've been watching you real close and checking your blood pressure and breathing and stuff like Dad showed us."

"Thank you, Hailey. Here, give me a hand. I have to get up and go to the bathroom.

"Oh, God. I'm so light headed. I think I'm going to pass out. Lay me back down."

"Here, Mom. Drink some water. You need to drink plenty. You have to be dry as a bone and that's why you're so light headed."

"OK. How do you know all this stuff? Did your father teach it to you?"

"Some, but I had plenty of time to read about it while I stood my watch. We all took turns. Well, everyone but Dad. He just checks on you every 45 minutes or so.

"OK. Let's start getting you up real slowly and maybe we can get you to the potty chair. If not, we can slide a bed pan under you. Or, heck, just go in your diaper again."

"What? Diaper? Oh God, Hailey. What have I done? Please go get a gun and put me out of my misery. It'd be a public service. I have done so much to hurt your Dad, to hurt you three. I need to go. I can't be here."

"No. You can't leave again. We need you here! Dad needs you. He laughs and teases and acts like he's OK, but he's not. He's all kinda empty inside or something. And he's working his buns off to make everything work."

"What d'you mean?"

"We'll, since the video came out, we've been home schooled. It's great. There's all this online stuff and I'm actually way ahead. We do that in the morning then Dad does field trips or fun things in the afternoon. And then he works all night."

"Homeschooled?"

"Yeah, and rotating social media accounts and phone numbers. When the new ones leak out it can be brutal so we set up new ones. Dad was right, though. Our true friends are still our friends and we get together a lot. Our not-true friends showed their true faces so we don't mess with them.

"But I take Laura to dance and piano lessons and Chris to soccer and guitar. They spend a lot of time in the music room. You should hear them! They're terrific! I do a lot of the shopping and Chris and I make dinner and do a lot of the laundry and stuff. It works.

"It's a little slow on the boyfriend front though, but that's OK."

"Oh, Hailey! You're driving! I missed your birthday! And it was you sixteenth. And now you're driving?"

"Yup. You missed my birthday, Thanksgiving, family vacation and a lot more. But that's behind us."

"Hailey, I'm so sorry I caused all that. I don't know what I was thinking."

"Well, actually, my buffoon of a father is responsible for the worst of it."

"What?"

"You know Dad. He used it as one of his object lessons. He says that what you were doing was very wrong, but should have been kept between the two of you. He made a bad decision. And because he was angry and upset he caused all this mess by sending out the video.

"But we were going to have to leave school or move anyway. Every time some of your exploits hit the internet the three of us would catch grief and be blasted on social media. And Dad has really been blasted.

"Your 'extracurricular' activities in town especially in the last year have really caused a ruckus. Everywhere Dad goes people point fingers at him and talk behind his back. Women at school come up and start yelling at him to be a man, not a cuckold, and get you under control. I had to look up that word. Not nice. I think his consulting business has slowed down quite a bit which is another reason he is so worried."

"Hailey? How do you know about my 'activities'?"

"Oh, come on Mom. I wasn't born yesterday. How many times were you late to pick us up because 'I've been at the gym and lost track of time', but you had no dirty clothes. Or 'I've been shopping and traffic was all backed up.' But you had no packages and would go shopping when Dad got home."

"I've thought all along how smart I was, but even you knew it. Do the other girls? Or your Dad?

"Chris does, but we protect Laura. I'm sure Dad knew. You probably didn't notice, but the life just drained out of him bit by bit over the last year. After Richmond, someone pulled the plug and it all went down the drain. He was like a balloon with the air leaking out and starting to shrivel. He stares in the living room late at night and cries some times."

"Oh, Hailey, I know my actions haven't shown it, but I love your Dad more than anything in the world. I will never do again what I've been doing. I promise you that. I will never be that person again. I will be ashamed and hate myself forever for what I did.

"He will never be able to forgive me and I don't deserve his forgiveness. Heck, I will never forgive me. But we need to get me better so we can make him better. I have to make this right. Will you help me?"

"Sure, Mom. Now, let's see if we can get you on the bedside commode without passing out."

"Mommy! Mommy! Chris and I heard voices and came in to check. I've missed you so much. Are you feeling better? Daddy says to drink water and that orange stuff."

"Laura, Chris. My girls. Give me hugs, I've missed you so much and love you more than anything but your Dad. I'm so sorry about screwing things up so badly. I hope you can forgive me and I can be part of the family again. Those old, bad days are gone and that bad person is gone. We have to help your Dad get better, OK?"

"It's OK, Mommy. We forgive you. Daddy says that we are all just told to live our lives without any clues on how to do it. There are no practices or rehearsals so it's normal for people to mess up. He says it's important to forgive them for their mistakes.

"Then he says that in your 20's you know what you should have have done in your teens. In your 30's you know what you should have done in your 20's and so on. I don't really get it. He says I will."

"Oh, Laura. Give me another hug. You are very smart, you know that?"

"Mommy. What happened to you? You're like all bone! All the soft, squishy Mommy is gone!"

"It's OK, Laura. I've been sick, but you guys will make me better. What if you go tell your Dad I'm OK, but ask him to please not come in. Got it? Hailey, Chris? Will help me onto that throne. If I start fading out, just lay me on the floor with my feet up, but I think I'll be OK.

"Diapers! What the hell, Em? What have you done to yourself? I'm so humiliated, girls. I'm so, so sorry for everything. Everything that I've done. I wish I could have one of those do overs. But no such luck." And she started to cry again.

"It's OK, Mom. Remember, what our dumb old Papa Bear says, 'one step at a time, one day at a time. Learn from the past, but don't live in the past, gag!"

"How did I ever get so lucky to find him. No, no, no! That's right! I'm not married to him anymore. Oh, God. What am I going to do? How am I going to go on?" More tears.

"Mom, it's OK. Things'll work out. One step...."

"Alrighty then, I didn't pass out. Just a little swimmy headed and weak as a new born. Can you two help me into the bathroom so I can brush my teeth, take a shower, and clean up?"

"Sure, just get in the wheelchair and we can wheel you in and help you onto the shower chair."

"It just gets better and better. A wheel chair. A shower chair. Here help me stand and get this crazy t-shirt off. Oh! My! God! Look at me! I look like a dead person. Nothing but bones and implants. Look at my face! I'm a hundred years old! Look at my arms. Holy shit!" Sobbing. "I don't think I can do it. I. Can't. Do. It.

"Yes, you can, Mom. And you must. If not for you, then for Dad."

"And for us. And for your friends. And for your fans. You can't give up! But cripes. We've got to get you shaved. You look like friggin' Sasquatch. And then we can concentrate on fluids and fattening you up. We'll feed you like the witch was doing to Hansel.

"But first. Hailey, get in the car, go to the pet store, and buy some dog trimmers. The heavy duty ones. We're going to need them."

"You two are assholes, you know that?" But they all laughed, together.

LATER

"Well, I'm starting to feel humanoid again. And I swear I lost another ten pounds of hair. Nothing like the 3 S's."

"Three S's?"

"Yeah, you know. Shit, showered, and shaved. Although I guess I just did two of the three. I'm shot. I need to go back to sleep for a while, but first fluids, fluids, fluids. What time is it by the way? Heck, and what day is it?"

"It's Sunday. A little after 5 in the morning. And we have two and a half weeks until Christmas. We were going to get a tree today, but we probably need to stay with you."

"No. You all need to go. I don't think I could stand being wheeled through the tree lot like Heidi's friend in the book. But I'll be fine. Let your Dad sleep for now. He must be pooped."

"No. He's up. He's destroying Chris' and my spotless kitchen. Again. 'I just don't know what to do with that man!' But I smell pancakes so we may have to forgive him. Sleep, Mom, and we'll bring you some later. That should go down pretty easy for your first meal. Unless he screwed them up again. How do you screw up instant pancake mix? Just add water...but if he did, Chris and I will make some edible ones." They all laughed again.

"Can I ask you two, where is all your Dad's stuff? I don't see any of it."

The two girls older girls looked at each other, then sheepishly, "He moved out of here when he got back from the Richmond concert. He's been in my room and I've doubled up with Chris."

"Oh, no. I'm sorry, so sorry. What have I done." Staring at the floor with tears freely falling.

"It's alright, Mom. WE. Will get through this. As a family. We are here for each other, right? So you concentrate on getting better and look forward, not backward. It's true though that Hailey snores a lot....she'll probably keep you awake at night."

"Jerk!" More smiles.

DOWNSTAIRS

"Dad. Mom was awake and doing better. We got her all cleaned up, but she's crying a lot about what she's done. What she's done to us. What she has done to herself. But mostly about what she's done to you. She wants to get better and be a better person than she was which are good things, right? We wore her out so she's sleeping again."

"Good job, girls. Thanks for your help."

"So, Dad. Did you mess up the pancakes?"

"No, Laura made them and we made them special. See? Each one has a Christmas tree on it because we're supposed to get a tree today! Right?"

"Yup. But one of us should probably stay in case she needs something, right?"

"Good thinking, Hailey. If you three want, I can stay, maybe have a chance to talk to your Mom some, and you all can pick out the best tree on the lot. What do you think?"

"Sounds like a plan. I will need some moolah Daddy Warbucks. Especially if we're getting the best and biggest. Maybe she can come down and help us decorate the tree today."

LATER

"Hi, Em. I brought you some pancakes."

Smiling. "Did you screw them up like the girls said you always do?"

"Uh, no. Laura made them. So no worries. Em?...."

"No, John. Me first. I am so ashamed and humiliated by who I've been and what I've done that I don't think I can ever look you in the eyes. I am sorry, so very sorry. And there is no reason for you to believe me or trust me, but I will never, ever be that person again. I would beg for your forgiveness, but I just don't deserve it.

"I will leave whenever you want, I know we're divorced and I have done awful, awful things to you, but even if I can't be a part of your life, could I at least be part of the girls'? I don't know how I became the person I was. I don't know how I could have done those things to you.