Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'n Roll - Continued

"What's going on, John. Why did you stop?"

"Damn! That's unexpected."

"What? Did I fart or something? I'm sorry, John. Talk about a mood destroyer."

"No, Em," he said very quietly, "you're pregnant."

"Oh, fuck! John! I can't be. I started on the pill the day after Christmas just in case. I never did it with anyone else. I told you it would always be you or no one. And Ryan confirmed that I never did anything with him.... It can't be. I can't be.

"Why do you think I'm pregnant?"

"Well, each time you got pregnant before, things changed down there. It got kind of thick and rubbery and the taste changed."

"And that's why I'm nauseated. Damn! Morning sickness.

"John I'm such a fuckup. I screwed everything up again. I'm so sorry! I can't believe I did this to you. God! What am I going to do with a new baby? But, John, if you're right and I hope you're not, I couldn't think of doing anything to her."

She started sobbing and turned away to sit on the side of the bed.

"Of course not, Em. Why do you think it's a girl?"

"I don't know. It just seems like it must be."

"OK. Tell you what. Let's put this on hold and I'll run out and get a couple pregnancy tests. The urine test should be positive by now."

"Oh, John. I'm so sorry. I hate that I have to keep saying that to you, but I keep screwing up your life."

The test was positive.

"Oh, dear God, John, what am I going to do with a baby! What am I going to do?" Her wail of despair was accompanied by tears.

"No, Em. It's what are WE going to do about this? Not YOU. We both did this. We both have to deal with it."

She grabbed and hugged him fiercely. "Thank you, John. Thank you for everything. But what ARE we gonna do? Oh, this is such a mess. I still don't understand... the pills I started are the combos so they start working right away..."

"Well, I remember a certain Christmas Eve. So this baby is our Christmas Miracle. Too bad the name Chris is already taken. Maybe Merry. We'll have to think of something."

"Really. That's what you're thinking about right now. What. Are. We. Going. To. Do.?"

"Well, I know it's not necessary in Hollywood, but I'm kinda old fashioned." He slid to one knee. "Em? Would you do me the honor of marrying me, again?"

She stared at him in shock. Her mouth moved, but no words formed. "Are, are you sure? I don't want to force you or make you...."

"I'm very sure, Em. Despite everything, I can't imagine a life without you. I still love you to death. Since the day I met you. And the words 'for better or worse' are just how I feel. Please, Em. Unless you've changed your mind."

"Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes." She launched herself at him and they kissed deeply. "John I love you so much. Look at what happened to me when I thought I'd lost you forever. Without you I'd just shrivel up and waste away. Like my hyacinth if I never gave it water. Thank you John. I will make sure you never regret it for a moment. Damn. I am going to start going to church. I've prayed so hard that I could stay, but this...."

"But there is some bad news."

"Oh, no! You're sick? You have cancer? What, John?"

"No. I'm perfectly fine, but we're going to have to move in a few weeks."

"I understand. I was afraid it was going to happen. I'll make it work with the group and everyone. Whatever you decide."

"Good. It won't be too big a move. I got you some flowers, but I also got you a present. It's even better now that we have another critter on the way. I've signed a contract on that big house on the lake that's been for sale forever."

"You mean that monster with the barn and what, three or more acres?"

"Yup. That's the one. Actually 5 acres. It will take some fixing up and modernizing. And...I have hired an architect to help convert the barn into a recording studio with a bunch small bedrooms, a kitchen, and all that stuff so your band mates and crew can stay there while you guys work on your next album and get ready for your new tour."

"John. I can't even speak. You did this for me? I don't deserve it."

"We'll, yes you do, but to be fully transparent, I will have to use some of your money to make it all happen."

"Take it all! If it weren't for you I never would have made any of it."

"...and I did get you another gift."

"John, no! Please!"

"It's a dozen donuts to start you off."

"You jerk. What, do you want chubby Em back?"

"Now is that any way to talk to the guy who just asked you to marry? Think of it. Tiny Em to big Em, and hopefully back to middle sized Em in one year. Your body is going to be very confused. We're going to need a great workout space."

"You're right. I don't want to talk to that guy any more. I just want to thank him by making that one eyed snake spit at least half a dozen times. Now bring that thing up here."

NEXT MORNING

"Chris, Hailey. How were your dates?"

"Great! We made it to the waterfall on the hike, and then...."

"Oh, quit! Hailey, how was yours?"

"Nice. He's a great guy and asked me out again."

"OK. Do we need to go to the clinic or anything?"

They groaned in unison. "Please, Mom. We just got up! I haven't even finished my coffee yet."

"Time for one of your Dad's object lessons."

"Oh, no. This must be a nightmare. I'm going to get one of those knives over there and start hacking on my wrist."

"I don't know what your Dad discussed with you, but what you need to fully understand is that if you date somebody then you usually start fooling around." They groaned and rolled their eyes. "If you fool around, you're likely to get carried away one day and do it."

"Mom, please! Like that fighter said one time, No mas."

"....and if you do it even one time without protection, you can end up like this." And she held up the positive pregnancy test. The girls were motionless, their eyes went wide.

"And if that happens, you need to do THIS!" And she held up her hand with her old engagement ring on it.

They leapt on her together in one group hug. All three crying. "Mom? You and Dad are getting married again?" She nodded. Sniffling. "And you're going to have a baby?" She nodded.

"But you started the pill...oh, Christmas Eve. Chris our sister was conceived on Christmas Eve! Man. Can life get any better? We'll have to name her Eve. That would be so awesome."

"How do you know it's a girl?"

They shrugged. "It has to be. We can't let Dad have a son. He'll forget about the rest of us. And a little girl... well we can spoil the heck out of her."

"There is one more piece of news. We have to move."

"We kinda knew it was coming. Where to?"

"To that big old house on the lake just out of town! We can go boating, and swimming and all sorts of things. And you two can start fishing with your Dad"

"Oh, God, no. No way i'm putting a poor little worm on a hook."

"....And it's close enough that you can still do all your activities and keep your friends. What d'ya think?"

"I guess life can get better. Mom, Mom, Mom. It is so good to have you back and Dad looked pretty chipper this morning before heading out. He's making progress. Thanks for that."

The door opened. "Hey, I'm back. Wait, why are you all crying? What did I miss?"

"Have a seat, Laura...."