Sexual Preference/Choice Ch. 04

A Strictly Heterosexual Act

In searching for a strictly heterosexual activity I have found homophobia is one characteristic that is very heterosexual.

One group or company claimed;

"To add insult to an already highly unpleasant problem, many Homophobia therapies expose people to their fear over and over again — sometimes for weeks or months — which we believe is totally unnecessary, even damaging, now that Homophobia can be eliminated in just a few hours." At the end of their advertisement was this, The investment? Just $985.00 Homophobia. Gone. Guaranteed. BOOK NOW!

If it were that easy, I would have already started my own training company. It isn't that easy.

You may be asking just how homophobia is defined. The following are three definitions.

homophobia

1. Aversion to gay or homosexual people or their lifestyle or culture.

2. Behavior or an act based on this aversion. (The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, 3rd ed., 1992)

homophobia

Irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals.

(Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, 10th ed., 1993)

homophobia

n. 1. unreasoning fear of or antipathy toward homosexuals and homosexuality. [1955-60; HOMO (SEXUAL) + - PHOBIA] Derived words --ho'mo-phobe, n.; ho mo-pho'bic, adj.

(Random House/Webster's Online Dictionary, Version 1 for Windows, 1992.)

When many people hear the word homophobia they often think of violence against homosexuals. What I want to do is address homophobia as a phobia. A phobia is a very real fear. Homophobia can be the fear of homosexuals themselves or the actual fear of being or becoming gay.

Two of the above definitions used the words irrational and unreasoning. If a person has a fear of heights, they aren't usually chastised because of that irrational, unreasoning fear. When a person has a fear of bees, they are not normally ridiculed because of their irrational, unreasonable fear. Heterosexuals who, for whatever reason, fear homosexuality or that they might be considered homosexual are always under attack.

The word phobia can be defined thusly;

phobia

noun [C]

an extreme fear of a particular thing or situation, esp. one that cannot be reasonably explained.

To understand phobias we must understand fear. Fear is defined as,

Fear

noun

[c/u]

A strong feeling of worry caused by the presence of something dangerous, painful, or unknown.

I truly believe the term homophobia has been misused for far too long. It is the terminology given to a fear, not an action. The action usually motivated by fear is either to flee or to avoid. Some researchers have chosen to define homophobia as a form of racism. I disagree, to a point.

The way I see homophobia is that it is a fear one has of becoming or being considered homosexual rather than an utter non-acceptance of homosexuals as a people.

A phobia is a fear, and fear is still a fear. Many people have put their slant on the term homophobia, but I feel we must see it for what it is, a fear.

When men react violently toward homosexuals, they are not acting out against homosexuals, they are acting out a socially imposed reaction to prove manliness and masculinity. Boys are taught to be tough, don't cry, be dependent on anyone, be powerful and dominate all that is feminine. I have come to understand the term manly to mean too stupid to ask for help.

I do not condone or accept violence against homosexuals, or try to reason it or give an excuse for it. I am trying to explain why heterosexual men and boys do what they do.

I think we need to look at what violence is before we continue. Violence is alluring. Everyone remembers hearing in school the words "a fight," and what people's reactions were to those words. Everyone wanted to see the fight, and often the guy winning was cheered on, even if the loser of the fight was a pacifist anyone could have beat up.

Wrestling, boxing, and tough-man competitions are always popular for this reason. Violence is about as easy to explain as to why traffic always comes to a halt when an accident occurs on a street or a highway. People just like to see these things.

In the case of violence against homosexuals, it is a little easier to explain. It is my theory no one really wants to see or likes to see, violence against homosexuals, except, possibly those who are committing it. I can say, from my observations, that the majority of men and boys who commit violence against homosexuals are the people most afraid of their sexuality. I believe the thought 'If we prove we are men, we can't possibly be or be seen as homosexual' is very prevalent in those who commit violence against homosexuals.

Another theory I have come to believe is that deprivation of physical sensory pleasure is the main cause of violent activity.

There is a correlation in the brain between violence and pleasure. When the pleasure part of the brain is on, the violent part of the brain is turned off. The reverse is also true.

I have noticed throughout my life that those who are more pleasure-centered in their life are less violent in manner and character. I have also noticed violent people rarely can enjoy sensory pleasing activities, let alone feelings.

As far back as 1975, James W. Prescott wrote in an article that appeared in the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists in which he stated; "Unlike violence, pleasure seems to be something the world can't get enough of. People are constantly in search of new forms of pleasure, yet most of our 'pleasure' activities appear to be substitutes for the natural sensory pleasures of touching. We touch for pleasure or for pain or we don't touch at all. Although physical pleasure and physical violence seem worlds apart, there seems to be a subtle and intimate connection between the two. Until the relationship between pleasure and violence is understood, violence will continue to escalate."

I agree with Mr. Prescott on many points, especially when he states; "The reciprocal relationship of pleasure and violence is highly significant because certain sensory experiences during the formative periods of development will create a neuropsychological predisposition for either violence-seeking or pleasure-seeking behaviors later in life."

What any of this has to do with violence is this; violence is a direct response of a person who is unable to understand or enjoy sensory pleasurable experiences. You may be asking; what does sensory deprivation have to do with a person being violent toward homosexuals? Glad you asked.

The link between violence against homosexuals and sensory deprivation is the mistaken belief that homosexuals are more sexually active than heterosexuals are. Many men get very depressed or angry if they feel they are not getting enough sex. And since many heterosexual men believe homosexuals are always having sex, they feel threatened and cheated. Hence, the violence.

Physical male sports such as football and rugby are often considered very manly sports. The touching that occurs in these sports is violent. This type of violence is very appealing and addictive to many men and women. Men hugging in a non-sport type of environment is not considered manly.

Men who are violent or aggressive in professional sports are often idolized, and many people see them as hero types. Look at how differently football and baseball are looked at in America. Baseball is rarely seen as a manly sport, even though it involves only men. The reason it is not as popular is that it is not aggressive. Baseball is more a pacifist type of sport. Therefore, baseball is rarely seen as a manly sport, as opposed to football or rugby.

Global proof that (samato or body) sensory deprivation is directly associated with violent activity is the terrorist and violent lifestyles in the Middle East. It has been noted and proven repeatedly that sexually repressive countries are more violent. These countries have hated us because of our freedom and willingness to do the things we desire and enjoy.

In America especially, aggressive, violent sex is more acceptable than sex for pleasure's sake. Years ago I went to court to support a store that catered mostly to women, that sold lingerie and adult-oriented sex toys. The fact it was within blocks of a church and a school made it a target for moral groups in the neighborhood. What seemed odd was the fact the local theater was showing A Clockwork Orange for their midnight show. The theater was not targeted, and the movie was the midnight show for over a month.

For as long as I, and possibly anyone, can remember the Biblical Eve was seen as facilitating the original sin. Men too often consider and have considered, women to be evil and manipulative.

A majority of heterosexual men consider homosexual men to be feminine, not men as they define men. Often they are seen as sissies or wimps. Therefore, the violence committed against homosexuals is often an action heterosexual men act out toward women, the 'lesser' sex, as a form of dominance and control. In a sense, violence against homosexuals is displaced anger against women acted out upon a male target.

Where fear is associated with homophobia is in the fact that being thought of or considered to be homosexual is one of many heterosexual men's biggest fears. The biggest fear is often the fact he could be gay. When boys are in school, they are often made fun of because of the size of their penis.

Boys who are often made fun of rarely realize for another to be able to do so they had to have inspected his penis. This would seem a very homosexual type of activity. The boys who most often made fun of other boys because of their penis size were, and normally are, trying to hide the fact they had interest enough to look at another boy's penis. I have heard men saying another couldn't possibly be gay because he's married and has kids. This couldn't be farther from the truth.

Just as homosexual men and women used to do almost anything so as not to be found out, a heterosexual man or boy will still do almost anything to prove he is not homosexual.

By perpetuating violence toward homosexuals, heterosexual boys and men are trying to prove they are not gay by being violent toward homosexuals. What these boys and men do not realize is their actions often bring about questions of their manhood and heterosexuality.

Can you imagine ever hearing of a homosexual man committing violence against a heterosexual man to prove he is gay? In cases of violence against homosexuals, the question of the offender's sexuality and sexual preference is often more than obvious.

Phobia was defined as an extreme fear of a particular thing or situation, especially one that cannot be reasonably explained. This definition is partially correct. The part where it states one that cannot be reasonably explained is the part I do not agree with. I believe I have reasonably explained the fear and the reactionary response. The situation aspect is where the fear arises most.

Violent activity most often occurs when boys or men are in the company of their friends. If their friends are present when they feel threatened, they often feel they must defend themselves from the possibility their friends may feel or believe they are homosexual.

No matter what your sexual preference or orientation is, it is commonly understood there is strength in numbers. Because many men experience (samato) sensory deprivation, finding others like themselves for their strength is not usually hard to do. Often the violent reactionary response of committing violence against homosexuals is a result of a fear their friends may think they are homosexual.

The fear experienced by heterosexual boys and men when there is a possibility they might be homosexual is a very real fear. It is almost as bad as being straight and thought to be gay.

The fear a man or boy feels when he thinks he may be gay is a fear that engulfs his entire being. There is the fear he will be chastised and possibly thrown out of his home, He may lose all his friends. He will be seen forever as not being a man. These are the fears many homosexuals feel when they consider "coming out." Having said this, I have to admit that not all homophobia is strictly a heterosexual experience. A percentage of homosexuals experience what I call heterophobia.

Heterophobia is not usually associated with physical violence. Heterophobia is more connected with tearing down heterosexuality verbally and through print media. Some homosexuals want to make heterosexuality and heterosexuals undesirable. They want homosexuality to be seen as a better alternative than heterosexuality.

Some militant homosexuals desire homosexuality to be the common norm and heterosexuality wiped out. This is just a different form of homophobia under a new name. Both stem from fear.

I have been trying to define heterosexuality. So far I have explained much of what heterosexuality is and consists of, yet I want to address a part of heterosexuality many do not know about or refuse to admit exists.

There is a percentage of heterosexual men who enjoy wearing women's clothing. Most people consider these men to be transvestites. Others consider them cross-dressers. No matter what label you use, these men are most often heterosexual men who just happen to enjoy wearing women's clothes.

Continued in Sexual Preference/Choice Ch. 05