Sexy DS Weekend

His lips tell a different story from the rest of his body. He kisses sweetly, tenderly, and with careful restraint that tells me he will take care of me like a treasure. His body grinds, and his hands consume, with a wild hunger and fuck-lust that says he's aiming for one specific thing.

God... I start to lose myself to a blur of lust and pleasure and submission.

Very faintly, I hear Kat say, half laughing, half seriously, "Don't hurt her, baby."

Mark breaks from the kiss, looking at me intensely passionately. "I'm not gonna hurt her, I'm just gonna take her." He bends right to my ear to whisper, "I'm never gonna hurt you," before hungrily kissing his way down my body.

He gropes my chest roughly through the thin lacy bra, but honestly doesn't spend much time there, heading directly for the prize. He kisses passionately right over my stomach. Despite all my self-conscious worryings, he adores that part of me, too. But he keeps heading south.

He pulls up just a tad to get my underwear off. I lift my hips for him as he pulls them roughly down. Oh not nearly rough enough to rip them, just enough for me to feel his hunger. He tosses them aside, looks at me, panting, and commands, "Open."

My legs melt open to him, and he instantly fills the space with his head. God, that heavenly tongue licking up my slit... my clit! "Ahhhh...!" I moan, as he sucks my most sensitive bundle of nerves. He pulls off with his lips, flicking his tongue lightly over the bud. "Oh god, Mark...."

He pulls up a bit more so he can watch as he inserts two fingers into my sex. I buck under his fingers, gasping, begging. He sucks and licks right on my clit, and I shudder with orgasm. God, he's barely touched me at all.

He pulls up to look at me as I finish trembling around his fingers. He pulls out, dripping and soaked, and crawls up to my face. "Suck," he commands, putting his wet fingers in my mouth. I obediently clean my juices off his fingers.

"You came so fast," he murmurs, pumping his fingers gently in my mouth. I look at him with adoring eyes. "I suppose this is your first touch all day today. You pleased both of us so well, I almost forgot we haven't given anything back."

He removes his fingers from my mouth and kisses me sweetly. "I have something for you," he says after we break. "I'll be right back, sweetie."

I prop up on my elbows and watch him at the dresser, his back to us. He then returns, carrying a small, black leather strap. Climbing back over to me, he moves to attach what I now realize is a collar around my neck.

A grip of fear overwhelms me. I get claustrophobic with stuff on my neck. I rarely wear necklaces, almost never turtlenecks. But also, this kind of blatant ownership, to let him make me so vulnerable, is too much. I panic.

I back away on my hands, fear on my face, and say, "Yellow," like our stoplight safe words.

He does remember, and he stops reaching toward me with it. He looks at me steadily. "Don't back away from me, Aly. Come back here."

I look at him, trying to trust, trying to quell the fear, and slowly inch back underneath him. He cups my face warmly until my breathing steadies a bit. Then he slides his hand down to my neck to hold me gently where he intends to put the collar.

My breath catches. "I'm not gonna hurt you. You're safe with me," he says very quietly.

I look intently--desperately--into his eyes, and the fear dwindles slightly. He's Mark. He won't hurt me.

Seeing me calm, he tries again for the collar. I close my eyes as he wraps it securely but loosely around my neck. He fastens the buckle behind me, then brushes my cheek gently.

I squirm, not liking the feeling around my neck. It's snug, touching me all around, even if it's not tight. I reach up to touch it, and Mark gives me a warning. "Aly...!"

I force myself to freeze, which looks like I'm calming down and trusting him, but I'm moreso shutting down. He gently massages my body, but all I can focus on is the collar. He caresses my breast warmly, and I reach back up to the collar. "Aly..." he says again.

I don't look at him this time. My squirming becomes frantic, and I pull at the collar desperately. I can't do this. I need to get it off. I fumble behind my neck at the clasp, but my hands are shaking too much to get it undone. I start hyperventilating in panic.

"Aly, calm down," he says, trying to gently take my hands. He doesn't say it as an order; he's trying to comfort me this time.

But now my wrists are locked, my neck is trapped, and the claustrophobia and fear overwhelm me. "Red!" I beg, thrashing to get free. I hyperventilate, fighting to get free.

Mark was already changing demeanor when he told me to calm down, but now he instantly snaps all the way out of dominant mode. "Aly! We're done. Let me get it off."

I can't hear the change. I can't quell the panic. I melt into sobs, still fighting him. Kat rushes over to me and tries to take Mark's place. He backs off, hoping that'll help, and Kat tries to calm me enough to get the collar off. I fight her, too.

Then I'm standing, fighting to get out of the bedroom. Kat is trying to unbuckle the collar still. "Sweetheart, please!" "Aly, we're done!" "Please calm down, sweetheart; I'm trying to get you out!"

Then I'm running through the snow, trying to outrun the collar around my neck. I run and run, until the cold finally snaps through my panic.

Oh god, what did I do....

I heave deep breaths, finally back in my right mind, even if I'm still coursing with adrenaline. My hands are shaky--actually, my whole body is shaking from the cold--but I'm able to reach behind my neck and undo the collar. Kat had gotten it mostly undone, or else I don't think I could've gotten it with my numb hands.

I pull it off, holding it in my hand in front of me, and I take huge deep breaths of release. I'm okay. I'm okay now.

--Except that I literally ran outside in just a bra. I'm naked, barefoot, in the snow, who knows how far from the cottage. Honestly, I don't know how I would've calmed down without the cold, and there's a lot of adrenaline heating my body right now. Still, I need to get back, and fast.

A good thing about snow is that I can retrace my frantic footprints to find my way home.

I walk quickly, and the bitter cold is like a soothing balm for my emotions. There are lots of stars visible tonight, lighting up the fields as they reflect off the white snow. I won't get lost.

But I have no idea how long I was running.

I continue trudging forward, starting to legitimately feel the burn in my feet. It's not a frostbite burn; my feet are nice and red. They turn white when it moves to frostbite.

I think about the collar in my hand. I didn't mean to freak out so much. I honestly don't mind the idea of some bondage, but for some reason the neck--the idea of a collar--is so intense. It's like being owned.

Is "owned" different from being claimed, used, or taken?

I pass some handprints on the path. I must've almost fallen here.

I feel awful about freaking out with the Stinsons. I wouldn't be surprised if they intend to call the whole thing off now, even though the weekend's only half over.

I keep walking. It's really a beautiful night, even if it's so cold. I notice with a small smile that my feet don't crunch the snow like boots do. It's just fluffy.

I don't want to stop the weekend. Honestly, I want Mark to help me with the fear, not pull back and let it be. Is there a way to introduce the collar without it being so intense? He was trying to soothe me and take it slowly, I recognize that now, but it wasn't enough.

I march on until I see a dark shape approaching. I get closer, and there's another shape a ways behind the first one. God I hope it's them, or I'm in a literal crisis.

It is Kat, following my footsteps. I can see her skirt and red coat. I assume Mark's waiting behind for fear of scaring me off again. I should let her know I'm fine now.

"Ruuuuth!" I yell toward her, picking up the pace.

She looks up, halting. I'm sure she sees my white body coming toward her in the snow. I run toward her, and when she sees that, she runs toward me as well.

I crash into her with a hug. "I'm so sorry," we gush in unison. I smile faintly at our synonymous speech, but I feel her crying in my hug.

"Kat.... I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I just got claustrophobic and freaked out. You know I run away when I get scared."

She pulls back just enough to wrap my face in her gloved hands. "You ran out naked into the snow! And I couldn't get that stupid collar off before you left so I was afraid you wouldn't be able to calm down."

"I got it off. I'm fine, sweetheart," I say quietly to calm her. "And honestly the cold helped SO much. I think that's really what broke through the panic. I'm fine. I'm fine, darling." I give her another big hug. Muffled in the hug, I add, "I am literally turning into an ice cube though. Can we please get home?"

"Oh goodness, I'm sorry, here--" Kat quickly unbuttons her coat and pulls me inside, wrapping what she can around me. Gosh she's warm....

"Mark brought your coat. Are you okay if he comes over?"

I sigh, shaking my head at myself. "He didn't--do anything wrong. It wasn't his fault. I need to go to him. Thank you, love." I kiss Kat firmly on the lips then pull away.

Not caring what a sight I look, I run naked through the snow to Mark. He tries to back off, showing me he's harmless, but I literally run right past his hesitation and tackle him in the air with a kiss. I throw myself into his arms, wrapping my legs around him, and pour my "I'm fine, I love you, there's nothing wrong between us" out through my lips to his.

The force of my passionate outpouring is enough to make him lose his balance, and he falls backward into the snow. He's bundled though, so I'm not too concerned. I kneel over him, kissing and kissing, until he finally, gently is able to push me back.

"We've gotta get you home, sweetie. And we have to talk. Just put it on hold till we get you warm."

"I love you," I plead, breathless. "Please let me love you." I try to press down, but he gently yet firmly holds me off.

"I love you, too. Let's get you home."

We stand up in the snow, and he wraps me warmly in my cloak that he dropped when I tackled him. He kisses me sweetly, then the three of us head home.

Suddenly Mark looks down and notices I'm still barefoot in the snow. "Sweets, we didn't bring her shoes."

I try to say that I've gone for walks in the snow barefoot many times, but Mark won't hear it. "No. You're not walking the rest of the way barefoot." He scoops me up in his arms and proceeds to carry me home.

When we get to the cottage, Kat scurries ahead to open the door so Mark can carry me inside. "Take her to the bedroom. You'll get her warmest under the covers," Kat says.

Mark takes me back in my bundle of cloak and in less than a minute, we're spooning under the covers naked together. Well, Mark has his boxers on. Kat tucks the blankets around us tightly, then sits on the bed next to us stroking my hair.

We stay there a long time until I stop shivering. Eventually, Mark says, "You seem warm to me now; how are you feeling?"

"I'm so cozy," I murmur. I'm also sleepy.

"Don't go to sleep yet, sweetie; we need to talk," Kat says, pulling me to sit up. Mark sits up behind me, and the three of us sit upright, him with his arms around me still. "Do you want to start, baby?" Kat says to her husband.

Mark holds me gently but protectively to himself, nuzzling his head over mine. "I'm so sorry, Aly. You said, 'yellow,' and I didn't listen enough to that. I thought if I just went slow that would be enough, and it wasn't. I'm so sorry I scared you."

"I hear you," I say, cuddling into him, "and thank you. But it really wasn't you. I got claustrophobic and overwhelmed because I'm not used to having stuff around my neck. I think that could be worked on and introduced more slowly, but you didn't know I'd be so sensitive to touch there. I felt some of it this morning when you touched yourself through my neck, and I didn't say anything.

"The other piece is how incredibly vulnerable that makes me, and I guess I wasn't ready for that level of dominance. I'm really sorry, Mark. I didn't mean to freak out. But I absolutely don't want this weekend to stop."

Kat laughs wryly. "We have been thinking about it. Just calling the whole weekend off now and taking you home."

"Please don't. Please," I say earnestly. "Then I'll feel like I ruined things, and honestly it's just going to ingrain the fear. I was really hoping we could work on it together."

"If you want to stay, we're not going to send you home, but we're not going to risk something so bad happening again, and in my mind, that means calling off the dominance thing," Mark says.

"I'll respect that, if you insist. But we could also talk about why that was upsetting and talk about new boundaries so it won't happen again. I don't want to stop. I liked what we were doing. I still trust you. We just need to figure out what went wrong and do something different."

"I think it's fine to at least talk about that, don't you, baby?" Kat says. "We're just not willing to risk hurting you again."

"You didn't hurt me, love. I panicked and ran away, and you brought me home safely. I even kept the collar," I say, showing them that it's still in my hand. "If I was really traumatized and hated the thing, I would've just chucked it into the snow."

"So what scared you, dear?" Kat asks, trying to understand.

"Yeah, I mean, you say it wasn't me, and that it wasn't that big of a deal, but you literally ran away naked into the snow."

I sigh. "The biggest thing was honestly the physical sensation. I felt claustrophobic and trapped, and I recognize when you grabbed my wrists you were trying to calm me down, but that just made me feel more trapped. I don't even wear necklaces or turtlenecks much at all because I don't like stuff touching my neck."

I pause, after that. That's not entirely true. I like when they kiss my neck. They notice my pondering look, and I tell them what I was thinking. They think about it, too.

"I know you're super opposed to going back to it, since that was what upset me, but I really feel like it would be possible to gradually introduce me to it. I mean, sometimes you have to with pet collars...." I pause, hesitating on the last piece I want to say. "I do think it would have to be something I choose, not part of the submission, if we ever try the collar again."

"Aly," Mark says a bit agitated, "I don't want to try the collar OR the submission anymore, after what happened."

I don't answer, looking away. Mark hears me sniff, and Kat whispers over me to him that I'm crying.

Mark sighs and drops his head next to mine. "You're blaming yourself, aren't you." It's not really a question.

I turn around and cling to his chest, crying. "My only fear going into this weekend was that if I gave you all of me, full control, full authority to do with me whatever you wanted, that I wouldn't be enough, or good enough, for you. That if I gave you everything, you might realize that wasn't what you wanted, and you wouldn't want me anymore."

Mark squeezes me protectively with a heavy sigh. He strokes my hair gently for a soft moment, then takes a deep breath. "Look at me, Aly," he says in his commanding voice.

I do, instantly, and I smile with that little bit of hope that maybe the weekend's not over.

He bends in softly to kiss me. He breaks, breathing forehead to forehead, before pressing in again passionately. He's incredibly gentle and tender right now, but he holds me possessively, rubbing his hands warmly over my body, like I'm his treasure.

"I love you," he says intensely, nuzzling cheek to cheek. He looks fully at me, cupping my face in both hands. "And I don't know how to communicate that except to say it over and over and demonstrate it over time. When this weekend is over, I will want you, for all you are, no. matter. what. That's what I mean, when I say I love you. Nothing you do or don't do will ever push me away. We can play whatever games we want this weekend--that are going to be healthy for you--and it won't change anything about how I feel for you. I will ALWAYS. love you."

"I didn't mess it up?" I ask quietly.

Kat laughs in loving exasperation. "Darling, you CAN'T mess it up. That's what he's saying. We love you, with everything in us, and if it would help you believe it to keep being submissive, then I'LL try to play that with you. You'd probably just laugh at me, but I'd do it for your sake! We just want you whole, and okay, and believing with everything in you that you're safe and loved and more than enough no matter what."

"I can be dominant again if you really want me to," Mark adds, "I just don't want to hurt you. I'm not WILLING to hurt you. That's the opposite of what we were trying to do. If you really think we can do this safely without scaring you off again, I'm willing to try. But I can't have you pushing for this just because you think it'll make me happy. I only do the dominance for you."

"Then would you please keep doing it for me this weekend? I'll be better about communicating, and I promise I won't run away again, no matter what."

Mark strokes my head warmly and looks to Kat. I don't know what kind of wordless married language the two of them have developed, but they use it for a moment till Mark looks back at me decisively. In his commanding voice he says, "Aly? Give your collar to Kat."

I look at him, then Kat, beaming. I fumble to give the collar to Kat, then immediately pounce on Mark with kisses, grabbing his neck and head passionately.

"Down, girl," he says lightheartedly, firmly pushing me back.

"I'm sorry, I'll be good," I rush.

"I know you will. There's not a doubt in my mind. But I do think we need to train you a bit. What do you say when you're nervous or uncomfortable from something I do or ask you to do."

"Yellow."

"And what do you say when it's too much and you need me to stop."

"Red."

"And what happens when you say red?"

I don't have a script for this one. "You stop?"

"I stop and then I fix whatever upset you. Even when you say red, you let me fix it, and you stay with me where you're safe. And if you can't, you go to Kat. Understood?"

"Yes, Mark."

"I think we also need a signal for when you need something but it's not a red-yellow issue--like bathroom, water, food, rest.... I don't want you to try to stop me when I'm having fun with you like I was first thing this morning, but we need some sort of signal. Thoughts?"

"What about like a tap," I suggest. "Like, I tap my leg with three fingers."

"Sure. And if it's urgent, or you don't think I saw, you tap three fingers on my leg."

I smile.

Mark looks at me, pleased. "I want you to go put your pajamas on. We won't be having any more sex today. Go and come back."

I duck my head obediently and crawl off the bed to go find them. I shimmy on my sexy little boy short panties and wrap the satin top around me. Then I scurry back to Mark.

He's talking quietly with Kat. He sees me enter the bedroom though. "There's my girl!" he says happily. "Take off your sash please and hand it to me." He stands up to meet me as I walk to the bed, pulling it loose. "Thank you," he says, taking it. "I'm going to do some things to you, and I want you to tell me on a scale of 1-10 how uncomfortable or nervous each thing makes you. Okay?" I nod. "What are you right now."

"Zero. Oh. Uh, one." He smirks. Zero is not between one and ten.

He loops the sash behind my waist to pull me closer to him. "Now?"

"One."

He ties it securely around my waist and pulls me a couple steps around the room.

"Still one."

He smiles quietly, untying me.