She Wants an Open Relationship

Whenever we could find the time, he and I took my kids to the park, and the zoo, and anything worthwhile for the kids. We would sneak away from the job, just for a couple of hours. He loved it more than the kids, I swear! Alma (our au pair) frequently accompanied us and made sure the kids were okay. My wife and her mom were not into that sort of thing, so it all worked out, more or less. The children loved him, and I'd like to think me as well, as we went on our little adventures. It was a big thing for my father in law, and me too. To hear the children's giggles and laughter, they always had a great time, as much as we could make it so. It was really wonderful to see a genuine smile on his face for a little while, courtesy of the great kids. They made me smile as well.

His (my father in law's) untimely death was a terrible blow to the family, and by default, I was thrust into running a huge company with thousands of employees without the prerequisite experience and knowledge that I should have had. I became the temporary president and CEO. But I was used to being tossed into the deep water. As usual, it was problem after problem, but I somehow took care of things okay. I would always rise to the occasion, and this damn company would not only survive, I was absolutely determined that we would THRIVE. I have never worked harder in my life to make us successful! I took every problem as an opportunity for change, and I would bring the company out of it smelling like a rose. I worked slave hours for a while, trying desperately to get everything done and under control. I wonder now if that hurt my marriage? I really had no damn choice, shit had to get done. I was learning how and when to delegate things. I had to learn quickly.

Amazingly...we did become a leading manufacturer, and quite profitable. When faced with a difficult or intractable issue, I often asked myself... what would my poor departed father-in-law do? That was a good way to look at things and try to make the best decisions possible. It seemed to work. My decisions were not questioned, and I even got a complement now and then!

That was unexpected.

My mother-in-law was also fantastic as a source of good basic advice. She usually let me take care of all the day to day stuff, and only discussed the most important questions and concerns about where we were going as a company.

I did catch her looking at me in admiration, but I think that was just wishful thinking on my part. She had taken to giving me big hugs and her huge boobs pressed into my chest, but that had more to do with her grieving than me. I would always reciprocate her hugs and kisses, and hold her tightly when she wept for her dead husband. She was still as sexy as the day I met her, and I had to not allow myself to think the thoughts that guys think, or I would be in big trouble! More than once I had to hide my huge erection from her, especially when she would push those huge tits of hers into me, hugging me. My fuck stick was hard in a nanosecond, and she would grind against me so she must have felt it! I just tried not to let her see the tenting action. That would have been so embarrassing for me. I do wonder sometimes if she was teasing me! That dirty girl!

I had done as good a job as I could do for the company, and I was given a pleasant surprise when the board of directors voted unanimously to make my acting president status into a more permanent position. I was truly honored by that. The money was unbelievable, and the stock options and the other executive perks. I did not forget my true roll however. Just get on with the fixing shit. I just waited for the next crisis to come my way. I knew my job very well by that point.

The workload did not seem diminish however, indeed, there were always corporate fires to attend to, every single day. I just did it. But there was never enough time for the job and my wife and kids. I worked to fix that problem as well. I needed help. I needed help I could trust. That was hard to find.

Betty was somewhat placated as I suggested that she take some of the art and music classes that I knew she absolutely loved. By that time I had finished all my classes when I finally got my MBA, but Betty could still go. She did enjoy that, splitting her time with the children, her teaching gig during the day, and a class or two at the university in the late afternoon and early evening. She seemed very happy for a while.

I thought this would bring us a little bit closer together, you know, "sharing the college experience." Oh yeah, how wrong I was! Hindsight is always 20/20. But how could I know? I had the very best of intentions. How could I know that I had sown the seeds of our own marital dissolution? It was never my intention for sure. I was trying desperately to make everyone happy. This proved to be impossible no matter how hard I tried! I did keep trying however.

~~~~~~~~

At this point we had been married for almost eleven years, with a ten year old girl and eight year old boy.

The children were a godsend as far as I was concerned. I adored my kids. I thought everyone shared my opinion. I felt extremely blessed with those little ones. I made time to spend with them. I was no absentee dad. I was a part of their lives as much as was humanly possible, and I was truly happy for that. I learned that I had to trust my people at the job, and delegate as many of the duties that I could, so I could have a life, and be a good husband and father. It was a constant juggling act for sure. But my family was first in my life, and the job, no matter how damn important, was secondary. I had to become a master of time management!

And I did so. At least as best as I could manage anyway. Finding that work-life balance is always going to be a huge challenge as there are only so many hours in a day! But I loved my wife and my kids, and everything else revolved around their needs. It's a shame that my wife did not share those feelings, at least not anywhere near as much as I did. This figured very prominently in our divorce and the demise of our relationship. Who knew?

~~~~~~~~~

We had a nice young woman as our nanny. She took good care of the kids when we were both busy, which was a lot unfortunately. Both my wife and I thought she was terrific. Her name was Alma.

She was originally from West Africa. I'm not exactly 100% sure, as she will not talk much about herself. She is very shy, almost painfully so. She is the blackest person I know, almost a blue black. Her dark skin is flawless, and she is quite slender, except both her breasts and her behind seem to jut out from that very slender frame. She is quite attractive, not just to men, but to women as well!

Alma is a sweet, wonderful, and an extremely kind person who would die to protect our children. I would die to protect Alma. Alma was gifted with a very loving gentle soul. I had a need to provide her with security and protect her from people who would hurt her. I told her this too. She kissed my cheek and said thank you. I loved Alma. Shit, everyone who met her loved her! She was that type of wonderful woman.

I would always do the same thing for Betty, but lately, I am not so sure about Betty's feelings for me. Oh well. I guess the honeymoon is truly over and done with now.

Betty might piss on me if I was on fire... maybe. I do suppose it is normal for a couple that have been together for as long as Betty and I have for the first hot emotions to cool somewhat. But I was still crazy about her. My heart still belonged to her.. I didn't know exactly what had taken place, but sometimes things just happen, and her feelings for me were, um...slipping. Maybe those feelings had even gone, it was hard to say. But I didn't feel the love from her that I had felt in the past. I felt little to no emotions from her at all! That hurt me.

I am not condoning what she did. That is a matter of record now. Just trying desperately to get some kind of... understanding... as to the reasons for her bad behavior. That might never occur. I don't know why she gave up on us, and gave up on me in particular. It is what it is.

I kept trying to win back her heart, but the truth is... you can't MAKE someone love you. They do or they don't, and that's just the way it is. Unfortunately, I don't have those loving feelings from her anymore. Where did the love go? That's the million dollar question isn't it. I wish I knew.

I really do wish I knew.

Something very bad had happened to Betty, in that she was drifting apart from me. No that's not right. She is deliberately PULLING apart from me. Seemingly faster and harder! I was going to have to deal with the threat to my marriage right away, or there would not be one!

I don't know how to stop it. I have tried to rekindle her feelings for me with special weekends for just us. I have made special love sessions where I eat her pussy for hours. I have sent her many truckloads of flowers to get her attention. It's like I was not even there! It was like I didn't exist! I had been trying to get back to where we were for many months and got nothing for my trouble. Her attitude towards me had gone from bad to worse, and it was like watching a car wreck in slow motion that you couldn't stop. I felt her slipping away from me, and it seemed to be unstoppable. Not just that, but she wanted it that way! That hurt me. But I kept on trying.

Nothing seemed to work. For her, it really was as though I did not exist. This hurt me terribly. My world was shaken violently.

I had become the nowhere man. I did not matter to her anymore. The fact is, you simply cannot make someone love you. It is impossible to do. Lord knows that I did try my best to bring back those feelings, but I felt she was done with me, emotionally speaking.

I was old news, and I felt I had been deliberately cast out of her heart and mind, and soon out of her life. I was very despondent about this. It was like waiting for the other shoe to drop.

~~~~~~~~~

I finally was going to try the direct approach. I wondered if she was suffering some kind of crazy long term post partum depression, or something. I was going to just sit her down, and find out some answers. I wanted desperately try to work things out between us. Betty beat me to it, as usual. At least she was direct about it. A knife straight into my heart, I would find out soon.

"Paul, we have to sit down and talk." I knew something was afoot, so on a hunch, I surreptitiously turned on the video record function in my cell phone, and placed it where it was not likely to be seen, but it took in the kitchen table and both occupants. Just in case! I am glad that I did it now. It got me direct evidence of her behavior and why she was acting the way she was. It was too little, and way too late, but a little bit of help in the divorce process.

I readied myself for whatever retribution (for whatever the fuck I had done, or not done) she would see fit to bestow upon me. I still was just not prepared for the shock of my life. I guess there is no way to be prepared for what was coming.

I looked at my "wife's" calendar and checked for the marks describing her last months period. I had tracked her monthly for many years, to see about her behavior around her time of the month. Hey, it helped me as a good husband to recognize the signs. I suddenly realized that I had not seen the telltale used tampons and/or pads this month at all! She was very late, or she had missed her period entirely. This was not a good thing unless she was trying to get pregnant! My mind went through a big bunch of scenarios very quickly. None of them matched the reality. Not even close. Live and learn I guess.

I knew that a late period in and of itself was no big deal. It happens once in a while. But with her scary fighting words... could she be pregnant? I had placed enough sperm inside her to repopulate the planet into her wonderful tight little sperm recepticle, but she was supposed to be on the pill. My mind pondered the other possible outcomes. The ones I did not like.

What if? God, I prayed it was not that. No, no, no! I did not need competition for her love.

I prayed it was not infidelity. That was a dealbreaker for me, and it used to be for her as well.

Betty sat down. And she stared at me, not in a very nice way either. Was this where she asked me for a separation or a divorce? I felt very uncomfortable at the way she just looked at me. It was not in a loving way at all! Not a drop of kindness in her piercing gaze at me. I felt as if we were two combatants about to do battle. I was not far wrong.

"I want to amend our wedding vows... slightly." As usual, she went right for the damn jugular, no waffling about. Amend our "I-DO's"?? Why? I thought. What the fuck? How do you "amend" the marriage contract? What the fuck! As far as I was concerned, it was sacrosanct and that was that. We had both sworn our lives to each other, standing before the almighty, and all of our friends and family. NOW SHE WANTS TO CHANGE THAT? FUCK NO. No, No, NO! Over my dead body.

"Why? Don't you love me anymore?" was my shocked and stupid sounding reply. In retrospect, it was not stupid at all, but very apropos. It was really THE single most important question that I could possibly ask. I think she lied to me about that very question. I think she lied to herself as well. She lied, and lied some more. Once she lied to herself, and started believing her own bullshit justifications, then being dishonest with me was easy to do. The question then became what else had she seen fit to lie about? Where does it end? Does it end in divorce?

"Of course I love you Paul. But I have been having these feelings... that force me to ask you... Would you allow us to have an 'open' marriage? I do not want to cheat on you."

Now I know what it feels like to be hit with a truck! Run right over me at high speed. My heart hurt. She was smiling. Not a nice smile. She was cheating. I knew it in my bones. I saw it in her face, as clear as a bell.

There was no use denying it. She had somehow become a slut, and this was her coming out party. She was going to force the issue. She wanted my approval for her ongoing affair, that she was going to try to foist upon me. FUCK THAT SHIT. NOT UNTIL HELL FREEZES OVER!

How the fuck did I miss this? I must be fuckin' blind, and I'm obviously very stupid. It was right in front of me, and I had not seen it at all! My life would never be the same.

Tears spilled out of my eyes. I could not believe my ears.

"It sounds to me like you already have. Who is he? Do you love him? WAIT. How long has this been fucking going on? You may as well be honest now, as it's all gonna be brought out in the divorce."

I wept into a paper napkin. I was truly devastated. I felt my whole life had just exploded. How did I not see any of this? She had lied so very, very convincingly all this time, and I had no damn clue. I was completely blindsided. She should have been an actress.

"Nothing much has taken place yet. That's what this conversation is about. I... I want us to be open to ahh, having more than one... um... loving relationship. I love you, my parents and yours, our children..." I did not state the obvious, that that was NOT THE SAME FUCKING THING. Then I had a very awful epiphany.

"Oh my dear God! Betty, are you pregnant with his child? Sweet Jesus! You are quite late this month. Well? Is it my baby or his?" It hurt me like a twisting knife to even say the fucking words. But they had to be said, and the huge questions just had to be answered. My heart hurt. I could see from her reaction that she did not know for sure. SHE DIDN'T KNOW FOR SURE! JESUS H. CRIST. THAT MEANT...

"I... I don't know Paul. But the child would be yours no matter what, not his. I tell you again, we have not done anything...yet." Lies! Betty did not have any idea that she was pregnant with his child or mine! I saw it in her face as she was talking. There was so much that she was NOT SAYING.

This was terrible news to me. She did not know! She did not even know! How the fuck could she possibly NOT EVEN KNOW! ONLY IF SHE WAS FUCKING BOTH OF US, AND WAS NOT SURE WHICH SPERM DID THE JOB! FUCK ME ALL TO HOLY HELL!

I saw the truth of it. She wanted me to be a true cuckold, and raise another man's children! Sweet Jesus. I am so completely fucked. My marriage was...done. Her love for me was...gone. I felt like I had been stabbed directly in the heart. Repeatedly.

Then the words hit me like throwing knives. Especially the words, "HIS" and "YET". The substance of Betty's admissions was another strike in my chest. This was a done deal. She had presented me with a fait accompli! It had already taken place.

I had no fucking say in the matter. SHE WAS ALREADY WITH HIM AND THIS WAS JUST TO LET ME KNOW IT. I was obviously fired as her lover and friend. So... it was over. We were done. Our marriage had crashed and burned.

My life and marriage were destroyed in that very moment. My loving wife was mine no longer! We were destroyed as husband and wife. We were just two people who shared children now, and she was trying to get me to raise her bastard child. Fuck that shit! We had no relations for many weeks now. It was very unlikely for the baby to be mine. Thank God I suppose.

Her subtle "OPEN FUCKING MARRIAGE" tripe was just trying to put some semblance of respectability on her thus far secret, and dirty little squalid affair. I recognized a whitewash job when I saw it.

It was all total bullshit from start to finish.

This was lipstick on a pig for sure! And fuck me, it felt like the pig was our marriage. I felt.. obliterated. I was hollow.

She did not love me anymore and I knew why now. All the love she had for me was now his. I should have seen this coming. The way she had been acting towards me left little doubt in my mind. I was out and he was in, with only the legalities to deal with.

I was going to just finalize it for her quickly. She did not get the idea of the very bad consequences for her bad behavior. She would learn eventually, but I was not going to be with her when she came to finally understand how really bad consequences work. This band-aid was coming off right now, this instant, and quickly rather than slowly. It had to be done.

"This is usually the happiest time of the year for me. Three weeks from now is our anniversary. I guess it's as good a time as any to end our marriage," I said. I was going to go straight for the jugular myself at this point. I could see the handwriting on the wall. And it spelled D I V O R C E. No "if's, and's or but's." THIS WAS IT, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW. We were done.

"No, no, no Paul! I don't want to end our marriage. I just want to add on to it. For that matter you could have a bit of fun with a nice tryst or two. I know that you love Alma. I am aware that you also have very deep feelings for my sister Cass. You could spend some time with each of them." Betty had been thinking about this for some time apparently. She threw out the "bait" girls as it were... If I had been that type of man, or had not been so head-over-heels in love with the bitch, well perhaps I would have grabbed at the "bait". But I was not, and I did not. I did not want quid pro quo for her affair. Two wrongs do not make a right. It just makes things worse, way worse. What kind of marriage would that be? One of just convenience, and no love. Fuck that shit. Better to sever the connections right here, right now.

"Alma? We both love Alma. Your sister Cass, whom I do love as a sister, hates my fuckin' guts, or have you forgotten that too? I don't want another woman. Sweet Jesus, I used to love you, and only you. That's all done now, I suppose. You want to have yourself an open marriage? No problem. I will speak to Martin tomorrow. We are going to have a severely open marriage. As open as it can be. It will be infinitely and permanently open... Forever," Martin was the company and family lawyer. Him being friends with both of us, he would probably have to refer me to someone competent in family law. "Obviously you don't want to be with me anymore, but we can fix that real easy. You don't know if you're pregnant with his child, but you haven't 'DONE MUCH'. FUCK YOU! What a huge crock of shit! That's not how you get pregnant, and it sure hasn't been with me! Do you even remember the last time we made love? Therefore he is the proud papa, not me. Well my dear, you have managed to kill my love for you in three minutes flat. I have been severely hurt by your actions and attitudes, way more than you realize.