Sheldon Shags a Shoggoth

"Leave? How long do we have?"

"A couple hours. The foolish men, they know I am here. But they have, no idea, what I am. It will be fun." They were turning over an artifact that looked a bit like an air hockey puck, but silvery and emblazoned with a three armed spiral that looked like a buddhist gankyil.

"Disrobe," they said, and I dropped trou without hesitation. "Now, hold the wheel between your legs. Good." They let out a shriek so high pitched as to be barely audible, and the wheel twisted open, leaking what looked like molten metal. I could feel its scalding radiance...

"It's hot!"

"Trust us." And I did, so I waited. The liquid contents spilled over my skin and seemed to sear their way into me, but painlessly, harmlessly. Suddenly, my vag was... well, not gone, but filled in so neatly as to be hard to see at all. Anchored in its place was a big, beautiful, fleshy cock at half-mast that was just a little too shiny to be real.

I gave the shaft an experimental tug. I could feel my hand, and I could feel the foreskin slide up and down, in every bit as much detail as I felt on the rare occasions I played with my front hole.

"What IS this?!"

"It's a... homunculus transformer. Sculpts the flesh, alters neural mappings. We... wanted you to have it."

"Can it give me any parts, or just these?"

"Anything you can picture clearly. And to remove it, just picture it back in its box."

"Does the dick work?"

"You tell us," they said, and as they moved in to kiss me, grabbed it and began to stroke it.

In my two and a half decades of existence, I've had my share of clitoral handjobs and blowjobs. With the right person it can be very pleasurable and very affirming. Yet this was something else entirely. The physicality of having a penis someone could wrap four fingers around, and stroke up and down its full length, and actually feeling it, came as a shock. Fuck, is this what it's like for the cis men?!

I wanted to touch every bit of this pretty body the Anomaly had made for themself, but I also really wanted to feel them suck me off. And unlike last night, they seemed contented not to step in and force a decision...

"Come here," I said. I lay back on the bed and, with surprising speed and grace for such a tall humanoid, the Anomaly was on top of me. I gripped their ass and kissed those infernal tits. More than yesterday I realized their skin had a preternatural heat, and roughly the consistency of teenage Sheldon's first pair of pleather pants.

"Jesus Christ. Your nipples taste like fireball candies."

Ana moaned softly and said, "We are... demonkind. Perhaps a fireball tastes like us?"

I pulled away from their chest giggling. "Did you just crack a joke?"

And while I never heard the Anomaly laugh, not with their embodied voice, I was sure I saw mirth in those crimson eyes.

5

Have you ever been sucked off by a fully embodied demon from the higher dimensions? It is quite the experience.

Firstly, as Ana later explained, most of their substance is in the form of a super dense plasma with a core temperature of about 1500 Kelvin. I'm not entirely clear if this is why they glow their characteristic crimson, or if it's traces of Uranium within the plasma.

Contact with such a body, or even just its radiant heat, should vaporize us delicate mortals. Luckily, the fact that they only partially exist in this dimension makes it easy for them to control matter-matter and matter-energy interactions. If they like you, touching them is like touching a slightly feverish human. If not, it'll be the last thing you ever do.

I noticed it right away when the Anomaly sucked me into their fanged mouth. A human mouth is warm. This was like the jets in a hot tub.

Secondly, besides all the other anatomical quirks, they don't gag, because they don't really need to breathe. I don't personally take pleasure in making my partners gag and choke--no judgment, it's just how I'm wired--so up to this point I had never facefucked anyone with my strap-on. Now, I found myself pinching and fondling Ana's left tit while they leaned across my lap and aggressively bobbed their head on my belly, taking almost the whole length of my glorious new penis. They'd already suggested I shove them down on it myself, and when I asked if they could handle it, this was the response.

"See?" said the Anomaly. "Human concern is irrelevant. Just take us by the horns and..."

So I did. It was hard to read their facial expression just then, but I would have said they smiled, as I grabbed both horns and shoved their face down until it was flat against my stomach.

I groaned. I could feel everything--the press of their lips, the brush of those threateningly sharp teeth, the hot wetness, the tight squeeze between the tongue and soft palate, and behind that the delicate, pliant space of the throat--with brand new senses. It was like experiencing T puberty all over again. I wasn't going to last. So, I wasted no time. I pounded that cute face for all I was worth, until...

"What. IS. That?"

It felt like squirting, but the squirt couldn't go down, so it went up. I could actually feel it rising up the shaft of my cock like lava ready to spill. All the usual muscles clenched, and the whole penis twitched, as I pumped my come down the demon's throat. Finally I was spent, and I tried to pull them off me, but they clung to me a moment longer, eyes wide and fiery, swishing their hot tongue around my cock. Panic ran up my spine and I nearly flung them aside, before they deigned to let go and let me collapse back against the pillows.

"Take five, drink some water, and find us some oil," said the Anomaly. "There is a cunt that needs attention."

And boy, if I thought a demon's breasts were spicy, their cunt was like candied habanero pepper. I had to take breaks to blow my nose. At least performing the act was familiar territory. I ate it from behind, I ate it from beneath, I ate it while pushing Ana's thighs back and propping their butt up with one hand, while they emitted low growls. Multiple orgasms dribbled down my chin like chile honey. I wondered if I was now radioactive.

"Now, quickly," they said. "Fuck us."

Years of strap-on practice had demystified the mechanics of sex, but not the sensation of cunt or ass wrapped fully around me. I took it a little faster than I otherwise might, since this was round two and a sense of urgency permeated the bedroom. With their legs still back, I slid into them with ease, felt the muscles grip at me, and sighed happily.

"You know," I said, "You never explained what the oil's for."

The Anomaly smiled back, wickedly. Their prehensile tail, which had lain limp much of this time, flashed into action, and dunked itself in the little bowl of warmed coconut oil on the nightstand.

"The better to return the favor," they said. The bulbous point of the tail was soon working at my ass. I tried to relax and let it in, but this turns out to be a hard thing to juggle with pounding away at somebody with dick. So it wasn't until I'd climbed on top and was in the zone, close to another orgasm, that I felt the thing begin to slide home. In and in and... it yanked into place, filling my ass up wonderfully.

There was a loud knock on the front door.

"Gods, not now!" I said, not stopping.

"It. Can. Wait." No disagreement there. The sudden commotion had shot some adrenaline into my veins, and I could already feel the beginnings of another subterranean lava pit in my gut.

"Fuck, I'm going to come."

"Yesss. Fill. Me." said the Anomaly. Their tail shook like a ringing bell, and I bucked my hips in time with it, until once again my come was erupting explosively into them. I gazed happily into those fiery red eyes as I emptied.

There was another knock at the door, louder this time.

"Now who the fuck could that be?" I said, as I started to get up. A hand caught my wrist.

"It is nothing. Just the authorities."

"The authorities?!"

"Yes. Unfortunately, it's time, hah, I was leaving."

"But I have so many questions! And what about me, I'm going to be in so much shit..."

"They cannot touch you. They do not even know, hah, what they're looking for. Hah. Anyway, I did think, hah, we'd have more time. Hah. Sorry." Ana's form was already breaking down for travel, unconstrained infernal light pouring out from the decomposing shape of hands, arms, shoulders, chest...

"Am I going to see you again?!"

"I, hah, suspect so, hah." And then the face and torso faded away, and the Anomaly reverted to its default state, an amorphous crimson glow, haunting the darkness.

TELL THEM... THAT WE WENT EAST. IT IS NOT A LIE. THEY WON'T FIND US ANYWAY.

6

I took a deep breath, braced myself, and opened the door.

It was nearly sundown. I'd slept late, and then spent the remainder of the day fucking. The air was colder today, the wind much stronger. In front of me were two cops and a self-important looking agent of some three-letter federal agency.

"Good evening, Mr..."

"Steinmetz. Evening officers," I said, channeling my Uncle Chuck for all I was worth. "This about that wild animal on the loose?"

"Wild animal?"

"Yeah, heard it two nights ago, and again today. Looked like the devil by torch light, but I'm sure it was a coyote or bear."

"And when exactly did you see this... wild animal?"

"After that big fire at the university building, maybe 9pm. It was tryin' to break into the storehouses. And then just half an hour ago. But it ran off East like a shot. I didn't mean to let it get away, believe you me."

"Alright, thank you sir. We might be back another day to ask a few more questions, but right now we have a..."

"Animal to find? I won't hold ya up, nighty night."

I'd spent several summers with Uncle Chuck as a kid. Kindly, salt of the earth, he'd become one of my masculine role models. He had the world's most disarming Nebraska accent, and a gift for utterly bullshitting anyone. Both were useful from time to time.

After that night, I spent several months preoccupied with when I might see Ana again. At length, I resigned myself. If it was going to happen, it was going to happen when it was damn well ready to. Months became another two years. Zayde moved in with the family, making me full-time landlord of the farm. I got my PhD and immediately signed up for post-doc. Finally, the pandemic began to recede. I felt safe enough to take an occasional houseguest.

One of the first to visit was Josefina, a friend from drag nights and trans support group in the undergrad days. I'd always had a massive crush on her, and personality-wise we were super compatible, but my shyness (and knowing from conversations that J was rather a dick connoisseur) had always kept me from saying anything.

Not this time, though. I'd spent years on the defensive, and was done with it. I was feeling myself now like never before. So I let her know, via text, that I had a crush, that I respected her greatly as a friend and human being, and that if she'd prefer not to explore it, I was still super psyched to welcome an old friend into my swanky little farmhouse. She said she'd love to discuss all of the above, with a wink emoji attached.

That night, I put on my most dapper University TA outfit, including a plaid print shirt in the colors of the non-binary flag. I put on my vetiver, poofed up the little pompadour I'd grown in isolation, and balmed my lips. A necessity this time of year. Then I pulled out the little silvery disk, unzipped my pants, and put my penis on. I had been warned about not wearing the thing for too long at a stretch, but it was extremely gratifying to be packing on a social occasion. Who knew having genitals that threaten to wake up and betray you at the slightest provocation could be such fun!

I knew I'd be taking it off at some point. Josefina had my deepest confidence, and sex or no sex, I'd been dying to show somebody the space dick and how it worked.

Twelve hours, and several rounds of vigorous body-knocking later, the pre-dawn light cast its first rays through the window and onto the four armed, four legged monster that was me and Josefina in our post-coital tangle. I don't sleep comfortably with most people, but I had history and trust with her; the fact that we'd enjoyed simultaneous orgasms last night certainly didn't hurt. Anyway there we lay, drooling and probably snoring to raise the dead, when I was startled awake by the scream of a rooster.

The farm didn't have any roosters at present.

I lifted my head, wiped the spittle from my face, and nearly fell out of bed when I saw Ana, in feminine form, stationed in the rattan chair in the corner, silently watching us. A rooster's head extended from just below their right armpit, and presently it, and Ana's human head, both cocked and glared at me slant-wise.

WE WARNED YOU, said the familiar voice in my head, ABOUT LEAVING THE PROSTHESIS IN PLACE TOO LONG, YES? IT WILL TAKE SOME DOING TO REVERT IT.

Oh shit. I'd been having so much fun I never got around to showing J how I remove the space dick.

Very slowly, covered in goose pimples, I sent a questing hand down my briefs, unsure if it'd find a big dick, a cute little clit with lips and vag, or the in-between-ish model that'd been my birthright. I sighed heartily when I recognized the heft of the space dick, still stiff with morning wood. Then, as I withdrew my fingertips, my wrist brushed against something impossible.

I jerked back. Unable to make sense of what my fingertips were telling my brain, I steeled myself and forced my eyes to focus. There, on my belly. What in fucking gehenna...

Right where my navel ought to be was a mouth, complete with lips, teeth and tongue, slavering and working its jaw in frustration. My briefs obscured the bottom lip.

GOOD THING YOU LIKE ADVENTURES, EARTHMAN.

Paying no heed to my present entangled situation, I grabbed for the covers and shrieked.