All Comments on 'Short Term Investments'

interesting concept but boreing as well the sex was cardboard copys of sex scenes i did like the whole get to know them then have sex not just meet screw and go their own way. "jakk"

by the way try to use a spell checker or proof read several times there were too many wrong words in this. said instead of set and stuff like that it was hard to read in some of the times because i had to interpet the meaning of what you were trying to say. "jakk"

wELL WRITTEN DESPITE SOME SPELLING & PUNCTUATION. bWETTER THAN THE USUAL 'FUCK...FUCK...FUCK STORIES. Dewscribes personaolities a bit, and makes the people more human. Not terribly exciting though. Try writing some more. Vary the story and make it a bit more erotic.

The story was a bit boring.It reminded me of reading a child's story:every thought or description is laid out in a blunt and uncreative manner. Instead, try mixing in the details or characters' thoughts into larger, more descriptive sentences. Leaving subtle details to be read between the lines is a fine way to keep your reader's mind attentive. You also need to use a more extensive vocabulary to help eliminate the repetitive nature of the story that is interrupting the flow. You've got a fine ideas, you just need a little help placing them on paper! Perhaps you could re-write this story and post it! Good luck. =)

It's an interesting idea you have with 'Security Investments'. I enjoyed this story very much. Especially the different names and that there was more than one couple. Normally stories follow one pairing but this had many which i liked.

You write well.