Show Girl

I was terrified. I didn't know what to do. I shook her a little but nothing worked. I decided to just watch her a while. I thought she would come around.

It must have been an hour, and she got up and walked toward the kitchen. I followed her and watched as she picked up a butter knife I had left out. She started slashing at her wrist. I grabbed it out of her hand.

"No, Amy. You can't to that. That's not an answer. We'll think of something."

She stopped and just stood there. I helped her back to the sofa and called 911. It was all I could think of. I knew I couldn't watch her 24/7.

I followed the ambulance to the hospital, all the way, thinking it was all my fault. Tears were streaming down my face. If I just hadn't taken her there, everything would be OK.

I found her in the ER on the gurney with her wrists restrained. The had her on suicide watch. She just laid there, looking at the ceiling. I talked to the nurse and she really didn't tell me anything. The doctor came in and asked me what happened. Reluctantly I told him. A flash of disgust passed over his face and then his professional face came back.

He finally told me they were going to sedate her and hope she came out of it tomorrow. He told me in no uncertain terms that I should go home. I cried all the way home.

For three days they watched her. The doctor took me aside and told me they were transferring her to a managed care facility. There was nothing they could for her there. I knew that managed care was a mental institution. I broke down again. The doctor looked at me like I should be in there with her. I bolted out the door and went home.

The next day I called and finally found someone that could give me information on Amy. The mental health people and taken her, but she didn't know where. She suggested I call them. I got their number from 411, but they wouldn't give me any information.

I felt horrible. It was all my fault. I had gotten her started in that crazy sex show stuff and her husband found out. I've lost my friend and she has lost her husband and I couldn't fix it. I fell on my bed and cried.

**************

They told me I hadn't been responding for two weeks. I just sat there staring out the window. They would feed me and sit me on the toilet. They even had to give me sponge baths. I remember coming back to reality. It was the worst time of my life. It had all came back in a rush. The text from Don was more than I could deal with.

It's been a month since they checked me in to the nut house. The doctor told me there wasn't anything else he could do for me. I just had to go out and find a life. I guess I was lucky because Julie was waiting in the office for me. We hugged and cried and she took me home with her. She was my life line. She stood by me, probably because of the guilt she was carrying for introducing to the sex shows. It was all I had so I took it.

She told me that Don's lawyer had contacted her about the divorce. She handed me his card. I knew there wouldn't be any reconciliation. I wouldn't be able to look Don in the eye after the pain I had caused him.

I called him the next day and asked what I needed to do. He told me he had the papers ready for me to sign if I agreed to the terms. He gave me a quick overview of them. Don was giving me half of our savings account, my personal belongings, my car and alimony to be negotiated. I quickly told him I didn't want any alimony and that I had been enough of a burden on Don and didn't want to continue.

Three days later I went to his office and signed the papers. He handed me a check for my half of the savings. I held it together till I got back to my car. I don't know how long I sat there, sobbing at the loss and the pain I had caused. I never did go back for my personal belongings. I couldn't take a chance the I would run into Don. Julie was near enough my size and she let me wear her clothes till I could get some of my own.

Two weeks later, with a lot of antidepressants, I found a job in a department store selling perfume.

*************

I got a call from my attorney. He was having trouble finding Amy. I had given him Julie's address and phone number. He filled me in on what Julie told him. I suspected she was so depressed that I found out and they sent her there for some intensive therapy.

The lawyer told me not to worry, he would find a way to get it going. I left it in his hands.

Weeks later he called and told me he found Amy and she signed the papers. She had taken the check, but declined the alimony and she didn't want her clothes. The papers were filed in court and it would be final in ninety days. Her clothes went to Goodwill.

****************

After six months of therapy I had hit a plateau. I didn't seem to be improving. Every day was the same as the next. Amy was on my mind more than I wanted. My shrink suggested I take a vacation. He told me I needed to go somewhere and get laid. He couched it in more gentle terms. I should go and start living my life. I thought about it for a couple days and decided he was right. I talked it over with my parents and Dad suggested I take a trip in Puff. (his cute name for his sailboat) My Mom got a worried look on her face.

"Honey, he knows how to handle her just as well as I do. You don't need to worry. He needs some time alone. He'll be fine."

"I know, but you know I'm a worry wart. I want to keep him close when he's hurting."

"I'll be fine, Mom. I'll call you now and then just to check in. Please don't worry."

I gave my Mom a hug.

"Where are you thinking about going?"

"I dunno. That cruise we took down to Central America was pretty nice. I might just run down there."

"That was nice. I remember that young girl you met."

"Oh yeah. Rosa was a sweetie. Maybe I'll run into her again."

"The most important thing is to get your mind straightened out."

"I'll be a new man when I get back, Mom. Just you wait and see."

"I just want you to be happy, Honey. You've been through a lot."

"I'll make it, Mom. I just need some time."

I stopped by Chuck's place and told him my plans. He agreed with my therapist and wished me good luck on getting laid. I told him I would call and give him any updates.

He did drop a surprise on me. Apparently Julie called and filled him in on what she knew about Amy. Her parents had called her phone and Julie answered. She had given them a cleaned up version of you two splitting up. It sounded like the same thing my lawyer told me. She said she was afraid to call me. I just shrugged it off and went on. She had made her bed and now she could sleep in it.

******************

I motored out of Charleston harbor and turned south. I had a good twenty knot wind coming over the starboard quarter. I started hauling up the sails. I was a little rusty, but I finally got the asymmetrical spinnaker set. Puff was cranking away the miles. I got all of the lines secured and settled down behind the wheel. I logged into the Navigation Satellite and checked the weather. All I saw was a low pressure moving into Central America. Clear all the way.

'Well, here we go on our "get right" cruise."

I had about six hundred miles to make Miami. With a good steady wind I figured I could make it in about three or four days, five if the winds didn't hold.

I let the random thoughts begin. My doctor told me I was suffering from something similar to PTSD. I dialed up the internet on my Sat Phone and connected to my on board WiFi. I used my I pad and searched up some articles on the subject.

There was over two hundred thousand available. I started reading. I found one that had some mental exercises to use. Something they called desensitizing myself. Another warned about not laying a guilt trip on my self, but I was way past that. My doctor got me through that. In fact, my doctor had gotten me through most of what I was reading. Maybe he was right. All I needed was to get laid.

I got parked in Miami and decided to go look around. I found a nice cocktail lounge and sat at the bar, looking over the local talent. I drank two beers and left. My mind just wasn't on it. I went back and started planning the next leg of my cruise.

I had never been to Bermuda. It seemed as good a place as any. It was about a thousand miles from Miami.

I called home and gave them an update and my next destination. It took me fifteen minutes to calm my Mom down. I could hear my Dad working on her in the background.

The next morning I went to a supermarket and loaded up on supplies. I got them stowed away and motored out. I started reading again. Nine days later I was tied up at a marina in St. George's Harbour. I gave my parents a quick call to tell them I was fine and where I was. I could tell that Dad had been working on Mom and she was pretty calm about my adventure. Needless to say I was relieved. Nothing worse than a worrying mother in the back of your mind.

I went to the Harbor Masters office and paid up for a week. I didn't know how long I would be there, but it sounded like a good round number. He sent a guy back with me and we hooked up to the potable water and electric supply. I spent the next hour securing the sails and lines. I took a quick shower and poured myself a square bottle rocks. I had just sat down on the stern when some guys in uniforms showed up. The informed me they were from customs and wanted to do a formal inspection. I just sat and motioned them aboard.

"Help yourself, guys. I've got my paper work when you're ready."

"Where are you coming from, Sir?"

"Charleston, South Carolina."

"Where are you going after you leave here?"

"I haven't decided yet. I'm leaning toward Central America. I was there a few years ago and it was pretty nice."

"Thank you, Sir. Now, if you don't mind we'll do our inspection."

I opened a little cupboard door and handed them a zip-lock bag holding my paperwork.

"Feel free to look around."

Ten minutes later they came back up and checked my paperwork. The stamped my passport and put everything back in the bag. One of them wrote something on a clipboard and handed me a piece of paper.

"Here's your copy of our report. Thank you and have a nice day."

It was an all clear from them. Apparently I passed.

I was tied up next to a nice sized cabin cruiser. It looked to be about a forty footer in good shape. I noticed four guys milling around. One guy walked back and started looking Puff over.

"Hey, man. Nice looking trimaran you have there."

"Thanks, Bud."

"We're having a little party tonight if your interested. A couple of girls are coming. Booze and snacks on the house."

"A couple of girls? Four on two sounds like a real party."

"Yeah, it will be if they're willing."

"Thanks for the invitation. I was thinking about running into town later."

"Sure. If you change your mind, the door's open."

I wasn't in the mood to party. Sloppy seconds or thirds didn't appeal to me. I went below and poured myself another drink.

I was sitting in my throne behind the wheel people watching. There were a few people walking down the pier. Quite a few worth looking at. It was getting dark so I loaded a movie disk in my player and kicked back.

Halfway through my movie the hair on the back of my neck stood up.

I looked over at the boat next to me and saw a nice looking brunette standing there with her hands on her hips. I gave her the once over from head to toe. She was looking back at me.

"Hi. Hows the party going."

"This party wasn't what I expected. You want some company. It looks way better over there."

"Ah, sure, come on over.

She hopped over the side and came on board.

"Hi, my name's Don."

"I'm Jill. Thanks for rescuing me."

"Nice to meet you, Jill. You're passing on the party?"

"Really. Those four guys are like teenagers. Four on two isn't my idea of a good time."

"They invited me over earlier and I was thinking the same thing. I decided to pass."

"I'm not into group sex and you looked like you could use some company."

"I wasn't looking for any, but you're welcome anytime. I was just watching a boring movie."

"Nice boat you have here. Where you from?"

"Charleston."

"I'm never been there. I'm from Florida."

"Can I get you something to drink? I have some wine and some square bottle. I didn't bring any beer?"

"Wine sounds good."

I went below and grabbed a bottle, a glass and the corkscrew.

"Sailing must be fun. Almost all of the boats here are sailboats."

"I really enjoy it. Gets me away from all the noise."

"How long did it take you to sail all the way from Charleston?"

"I had been down to Miami. Then I decided to come up here. It's just over one thousand miles. I can average two hundred to two hundred fifty miles a day it the wind holds. I hit some light wind and it turned out to take nine days."

"When do you sleep?"

"I just kinda cat nap. I can feel when the wind changes. The noise in the rigging goes wrong so I wake up and trim everything up. It's just something I learned to do. If I get really tired I start the motor and use the auto pilot."

"You've sailed a lot, huh?"

"Actually I can't remember not sailing. My Dad always had a sailboat."

"You seem like a nice guy. Why are you on the loose out here."

"Been split up from my wife for a few months. I thought a little time on the water would be good for my soul."

"Sorry. I don't mean to pry. Just wondering about you."

It's OK. I'm pretty much over it. Just some scar tissue now."

"Sounds like she cheated on you."

"Oh yeah. Cheated is an understatement."

"Wow. You're still dealing with it."

"I've put most of it behind me. I had a good shrink. He helped a lot."

"I know where you're coming from, only mine wasn't as bad as yours. My boyfriend made a pass at my best friend. I was so pissed I kneed him in the nuts and slammed the door in his face."

I chuckled.

"That would give him the message."

"That was eight months ago. It took two months before I could even hold hands with a man."

"I guess we're a couple of kindred spirits. It's kind of funny. My doctor told me to take a vacation and get laid. So, here I am."

She laughed.

"Get laid, huh?"

"Yeah. The vacation part is working, but I haven't gotten laid yet."

She didn't say anything, just a little smile. I didn't really expect her to rip off her clothes, but I wouldn't have minded. I decided to test the water, so to speak.

"I have a great idea you might like. How about I take you out sailing tomorrow."

"Wow. You would do that?"

"You seem like a nice person too. What do you think?"

"Sure. Let's go for it. What should I wear."

"Warm weather casual, and some soft soled shoes should work. That's what I wear. And maybe bring a swim suit. We can find a place to anchor and go swimming."

"And get eaten by some sharks?"

"You have a better chance of getting struck by lightening than being shark bait."

"I'll have to trust you on that."

"You live here or are you on vacation too?"

"I live here. I work at the HSBC Bank. I'm the manager of their payroll services department. We handle the payroll for a lot of the businesses on the island."

"You must have majored in business in college?"

"Yes. I got my BA at The University of Miami in Coral Gables. What about you?"

"I have a BA in business and I manage one of my Dad's fitness centers."

"That explains it. You look pretty buffed out. I wondered it you might be a gym rat."

"I have to stay in shape. Sort of a walking advertisement."

"I guess it wouldn't do for a out of shape guy to be the manager."

"How long have you been living here."

"Three years. I met a girl in college that lived here. She talked me into trying for a job at the bank."

Our conversation lagged a little. She glanced at her watch.

'Look, I gotta run now. I need to get ready for our big day."

"OK, I'll walk with you to your car."

"And thanks again for rescuing me."

"How could I say no to a damsel in distress."

We got to her car and she turned and looked into my eyes like she was looking for something. I thought she was trying to look into my soul. I gave her a dead pan. I wasn't ready for any intrusion like that yet. She must have seen something she liked, because she stepped up close, raised up on her tiptoes and put her arms around my neck. She pulled my head down and laid a smoking kiss on me. I felt her firm breasts against my chest. She broke the kiss and caressed my cheek.

"See you tomorrow, big guy."

I was sorta speechless, watching her get in her car.

"Tomorrow."

I watched her drive away. I knew I was going to take a towel to bed.

************

I was sitting at my kitchen table eating rerun Chinese take out from last night. I had to smile. Finally, something was happening in my life besides going to work, and hanging with my friends. Yep, I was thinking about Don.

I felt really bad about what he had been going through. My empathetic side was screaming at me to help this poor man. I didn't think he was broken, but he had lots of scar tissue. I wasn't into casual sex at all, but this was different. If it would help him heal, I would be willing. I might lose out completely, but I would feel OK about sending him on to some lucky girl. On the other hand, I might get lucky and keep him for myself.

I was sure my initial read on him was good. I didn't sense any threat about going sailing with him. He oozed good guy, and he was cute too. I imagined those big strong arms holding me close and my nipples perked up. Of course, they were directly connected to my pussy and it spoke to me. Actually, it shouted at me. It had been a long dry spell.

I chuckled at myself and went to get ready for the night.

My shower didn't go at planned. I ended up all soapy, with the water saver on, furiously rubbing my clit and tweaking my nipples. Of course I was imagining Don taking control of my body. I ended up leaning against the shower wall, quivering through a really nice orgasm.

I decided to call Joanie and tell her about Don.

"Hi, Jill. What's up?"

"Guess what happened to me today?"

"Ahhh, you got laid?"

"Nope, but I did meet a guy this evening. He's got this big sail boat and he's really cute."

''Oh my god. Really? A big sail boat. He must be rich too."

"I don't think so, but his Dad is. He owns three gyms and Don runs one for him. The boat is his Dad's."

"Sounds like he has potential. If he runs a gym he must be buffed out."

"Oh god. He is. Big strong arms and he's tall too. I think about six three or four."

"Wow, a hard body. You lucky girl."

"There's more. He invited me to go sailing this weekend and I accepted."

"Hmmm. You might get laid, huh?"

"I don't know. He's got some baggage her carrying. He just split up with his wife a few months ago. I'm not sure how bad he's hurt. I can see some of it in his eyes. She may have done too much damage. She cheated on him."

"Oh, fuck. God damned women. Why do they do that. It's so cruel. That's the worst thing you can do to a man. I just don't understand it."

"I know. She must be a real fool to let someone as cute as he is get away. I get the sense that he's really a nice guy."

"Maybe you can help him a little. You know. Make him do some man stuff. Get him feeling good about himself. You should go without your bra. Get him thinking about the girls. Let him know you're available. His ego has probably taken a big hit. He might even be questioning his ability to perform."

"I wish I knew more about what happened. I really need to tread lightly."

"Maybe he'll feel comfortable enough with you to talk about it."

"He'll have to be he one to decide on that. I won't pry. If I can get him between my legs I know that will help him."

"It's been a while for you. It might be good therapy for both of you."