All Comments on 'Silver'

You did well for a first story. Thankfully you weren't ensnared by the cuck or bogus IR crap so many newbie's fall prey to. There were a number of run on sentences and the overall theme was written more like a narrative than a story. Most people know the dynamics of romance and sex. The question is, and hence the story, how did they get there? Take your time and flesh the out the characters on the next one. I wish you well.

Terrible! No buildup whatsoever. Straight from dinner to the bedroom and sex. Who are they? How did they meet? What are their lives like? NOTHING!! 1*

Good first story!

4

Hi folks, glad my first story is getting some views, thanks to everyone,

I also appreciate feedback but I did want to mention a couple of intentions of my story

The first is the run on sentences, this was a choice, it was supposed to indicate breathlessness, lots of commas but the sentences are intended to leave the reader a little out of breath to (hopefully) add to the sense of eroticism.

The other thing is that this is the first story of a set of these two characters, as you read you will start to know the characters based on their shared intimacy. They (again hopefully) grow and mature as lovers and you get a sense of following their intimate romance over special times of their relationship.

Thank you again for reading my story!

NOT romance, just erotic coupling of fucking!!

*Yawn*

Beautiful imagination. Five stars.