Simon Says Revenge Ch. 08-12 - Finale

So he went from a cuckhold

(a man whos wife fucks other men)

to a cuck

(a man who LETS his wife fuck other men)

Hardly an improvement

OK with the BTB. Michelle was a good idea. I don't care for polyamory. The only polyamorous story I have read and liked involved identical twin sisters who the way they were written came off as one woman in two bodies.

BTW SevMax..a cuckold is a person who wife betrays him in a monogamous married relationship by having sex with another person outside of marriage, That exactly describes the situation in the first episode of your add-on. The verb describing the wife's betraying infidelity is correctly called cuckolding which is the act by either spouse on the other in having sex outside of marriage,

I was a english and writing professor at a local university for 10 years and spent a lot of time teaching my students to clearly define their key terms in their correspondence as the English language suffers from multiple definitions for most words,. Without properly defining one's terms the probability of miscommunication in written missives runs about 80 percent.. as most of communication is non verbal...and the language just begs for people to misunderstand each other since English is a contextual language at best.

Anyway, have fun...and you are a good writer...even if you tend to proselytize your point of view a little much in your story to the detriment of story flow.

The original story was simply crap with a great deal of fundamental flaws. It was so bad that it tempted a number of authors to try to resolve the cuckold issues left by the author. SevMax writes his add on but redefines the original story substantially in his sequel by transforming Ramone into a cousin and Simon into a Sicilian. This enables SevMax to redirect the flow into a really nice revenge BTB using the legal system as a foil. That makes a very interesting tale particularly with the legal detail and such.

Then the story takes a turn into polyamory la la land...in Chapters 3 and 4 to the point where we readers find ourselves in a amoral universe of strange. If this is not enough, SevMax waxes long and lame on the virtues of anything other than monogamy. You know like all those vid shows that now proselytize and propagandize us into virtual coma's nowadays.

Sometimes one's reach exceeds one's grasp and frankly this story train would have been much better if it stayed at the station after the second episode. In fact I would submit that the third and fourth parts are more or less epic fails that depart from any conceivable linkage to the original story line espoused in the first part.

Ah well.. the first and second episodes are quite good...so I give it a 3 star rating,

Frankly, this is not my usual cup of tea. But I really did enjoy the direction you took. You have a unique writing style and I feel it added to the overall plot. The only issue I had was there were so many characters important to the overall theme that I had to reread it at times to make sure I understood their significance. I also really enjoyed the way you presented the topic of sexuality and gender. And although I do believe in monogamy I do not dislike or fear polyamory and can envision how it would be not only acceptable but beneficial for some. The ending was good but as I read I actually felt that Danielle should have in some way been absorbed by the new family unit. Maybe becoming Michelle's slave, pet or possession in some way. It would have been a fitting end for her to be used by all, possibly chained up as a decoration when not in service. I could see her being treated as an artful conversation piece or being bred like a dog in a puppy mill. In that way she could have earned some sort of redemption for her transgressions. Her mother Betsy should have had to suffer more for raising such a degenerate. All in all a really good submission and I thank you.

And I liked each sides’ spirited defence of their views. I think Nietzsche had two types of moral orientation—slave and master; at least from The Genealogy of Morals, and you could argue that your story was a more realistic depictions of moving from one form of a slave to a master orientation in remaking new values, using sexuality in this way, rather than violence in shaping it—as FTDS story does. From my perspective, American society tends to celebrate violence as a solution to perceived Problems more than sexuality. So I liked the emphasis on the rule of law and on consensual sexual affirmation. I didn’t get a strong sense of the emerging nature on the MC and that would be something that would have to motivated by some groundwork—perhaps in therapy or by some variant of Chekhov’s gun? The doctor’s story felt like a pile-on to me and felt forced (over-sharing...). It was nice to see the officer take his plight seriously in Chapter One, though I also wonder if we have come so far that there wouldn’t also be some biasing about “what a man would or wouldn’t take” that was seen more centrally in FTDS’ story and other places as well—e.g. see comments to the infamous Hildy! and other illegal restraint stories for a flavour.

I found the harem angle pure wish fulfillment but that was where you took the story. I am not certain that the events he underwent wouldn’t have made him a basket case for a bit with some serious PTSD issues. So, while I find the use of the legal system to be more realistic, the happy circumstances afterwards feels like fantasy— but it is cool! It is your take; I like realism throughout if you start that way, but that is my taste. Last point, why not allow the ex to use the legal system as well—mental competency and diminished responsibility arguments? Her mother clearly has resources and is no dummy. They both come across too one dimensionally for my liking.

Which is a start. Agree to disagree and all that jazz.

Max , deviant may be an outdated word for today's views on sexuality. I'll go with your explanation to sbrooks103x, and just accept that my views and yours will never be in agreement. If you feel that makes me a prude, then I can take that. Good old Lue calls me a moral midget.

..when you call people "deviant," then yes, I tend to see you as a prude. That's the only people I ever use the term "deviant" in a pejorative sense.

...about Michelle or Simon from Damon's work, so that left a blank canvas to be filled in.

As for FTDS, I like his work in general and I actually enjoyed his version to a degree, but while I like his stuff, I found the MC's behavior in his version deeply disturbing for its violence and lawlessness. I prefer using the law and authorities, not taking them int one's hands (unless there is no legal recourse, which there is one here). What I find "over the top" is not a harem or kinky sexuality, but extreme and lethal violence, vigilantism, etc.

As for sexuality, as a pan/bi guy, it is far from "default" to me and I know of far too many closet cases to believe that society's "default" heterosexuality is anything but a comfortable myth that straight people tell themselves. The whole downlow scene is testament to that fact, with sad consequences given the price of their self-deception and deception of their spouses.

My preference and leaning tends to be for a smallish circle of knowing, willing lovers who share within that circle, but don't tend to go outside of it without tests or protection. My bias tends to show up in my writing there, just as yours toward monogamy does in yours. I don't bash your writings, by the way, if you've noticed. I've read a few of yours, I don't recall which, but I haven't, to my recollection, harshly attacked or condemned them, especially over something as petty as what category is selected.

Again, I pick whichever category suits the chapter in question. Some chapters are heavy on anal or group or gay sex or lesbian or BDSM or whatever, and those chapters I try (with apologies to Yoda) to put in the appropriate category, though with so many fetishes in one story, deciding that sort of thing is very tricky.

The harem stuff was mostly to give Simon a future to live for rather than clinging to his past with Danielle or focusing on violence as the means for revenge. I preferred to have him let the State and Law handle justice, given that her behavior was outright criminal (as was the MC in the version by FTDS, though again, I enjoyed it on a visceral level as a form of vigilante justice). Since she was almost certain to go to jail as soon as medical attention was sought, it also gave him a chance at a better, more favorable divorce.

Again, we're talking past each other, though at least you're more civil than some folks and don't seem to go for the throat in a trollish way. We're just very different folks with a very different moral code from the sound of it. Like Nietzsche, I acknowledge that there are multiple moralities, and no one morality is "right" or "wrong." I just prefer mine and see it as more life-affirming, more about sex, love, etc. than about violence and death. There is a time and place for killing, but there is also a time and place for the other, and in my view, there's far too much war made and far too little love.