Six

"Fuuuck," he breathed, his hand going to my head as he groaned. He finished quickly, faster than he ever had before and he was almost smiling as he got up. I had his breakfast done when he got out of the shower and I beamed up at him as if I truly adored him as I hurriedly set his plate for him.

He seemed almost jovial as he went out to the garage. I'd wondered if he was going to work on a Saturday and that answered my question. I wasn't really sure what to do anymore. All I really could do was sit and wait for him.

He came back in just after noon, still looking pleasant.

"I'll make you lunch!" I told him happily, jumping up.

"Make something for me to take to mom," he told me. "I stay the afternoons with her on Saturdays."

"Oh! Do you want me to go too? I can clean her house and do her laundry and all of that?"

"Not this time, just hurry."

I hurried and he was cleaned up and changed by the time I was done. He almost smiled at me as he picked up the plate, then schooled his expression forcibly. "Be safe!" I called as he left.

I was expecting him to be gone until late, but he was back in less than an hour, furious. "Fucking druggie BITCH!" he half screamed in an angry sort of anguish. "I fucking hate days like today! She doesn't even remember who I AM!" he yelled. I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or not.

"She has Alzhiemers?" I asked softly.

"What?" he demanded, turning to me and spotting someone to take his anger out on. "She has a fucking drug issue! Thirty years of drugs fucked her up so bad she can't remember who I am half the time!" he yelled. "Fuck you! On your fucking knees, whore!"

I went to my knees quickly. "If it's Alzhiemers, then she's sick and there's a reason she's forgetting," I told him softly, hurrying to him. "There are ways to help her. It might be the drugs, or it might be she's sick. You're doing the best you can though, and so much more than most people do."

"What is that? One of those made up sicknesses rich people get?"

"Alzhiemers? No! No, it's very real and very awful. People forget their loved ones, who they even are sometimes, they go back to the past and their memory is all over the place. I can get my phone and get online and show you?"

"Fucking internet," he disdained. "Just another way for people to lie to other people."

"Ok, in a way, but Alzhiemers is very real. Does she have a nurse or..."

"Yeah, I fucking have the money to have someone come and take care of my ex druggie mom," he sneered. "Shut the fuck up, whore."

"They have free programs! If she is sick, if it is Alzhiemers, they will send nurses out to help her once a day."

"There's no such thing as free anything out here, Six! You know that! Even when you finally got the nerve to go to the bitch at school for help! She said they could get you out, you wouldn't have to pay or nothin'. Was she right Six, or did you fucking pay? How much did you pay after your mom beat you half to death and made you say you were lyin'? How many nights did you pay?"

I looked away, my face turning red. "How do you know all of this?" I asked in a whisper.

"Because I live right here, Six. Two places down and across from where your shitty old trailer was. Anyone who was outside after ten could hear you cryin' and screamin' and beggin them to stop. Your mom just beat ya, but when it was your dad... you cried a lot different those nights. Beggin' for your mom to help, for anyone to help. I went over there one night, thinkin on bashin' his head in. Had my big torque wrench and I was all ready. Miss Cleary who used to live next to you saw me come around to the door and she told me to stay away, it wasn't my business. Said I wasn't hearing what I thought I heard and that if I went near that door she'd call the police on me. Found out her and your mom were real close and she had a pure hate for you and all girls, since her own dad was put away in jail after he was found with a girl. She knew what he was and didn't care, she was only mad that he'd done it with another girl and not her. After that she blamed all girls with her fucked up way of thinking it was her duty to her daddy, it was all girls duty to their daddy's. And if another girl came along and interfered and got that daddy in trouble, they deserved to be punished. D'you know that, Six? Miss Cleary did 14 years behind bars for killing the girl her daddy'd been caught with. She was fucked up as hell and that's all that lives here, Six. Next time I went back around, it was around the back. I didn't know all that about Miss Cleary yet and I wanted to make sure I was hearing what I thought I was. It sure enough was. That very next day was the day your dad was in that accident. Remember that?"

"Yeah... he said he didn't know what happened. He tried to turn and it just wouldn't, drove straight off the road and into a bunch of trees. They said he was drinking already... the car was totaled and we didn't have another. No insurance for his car or his broken arm and ribs. He lost his job, and... things got so much worse."

"That's when I was going to step in. Not let you go back there... then you were just gone."

I looked down, feeling sad now. "Thank you, my Corin," I breathed softly. "For trying. I wish I'd known. Still. If your mom is sick, there are ways to help her. Maybe we can go see her? I can clean up and see what all is needed for her house to have to eat there and stuff."

"I have stuff there for her!"

"I know, but I was thinking other things. Also... maybe you could give Mike my keys and you and him could bring my car and clothes back here. I..."

"You think I'm going to just bring your car here and..."

"Only to sell!" I said quickly. "Mostly, I just want my clothes and my meds. I've been off them for too long and I can tell. Sell my car, my Corin. Or keep it. Whatever you like, I don't care if I ever see it again. For now let's just go see your mom. I can see what I can do to help her and you both."

He huffed, but got up and got me the same pair of drawstring sweat pants I'd worn last time. It also meant taking the chain off of me, but he didn't even hesitate as he took it off. Curling up against him in the truck, I snuggled around his arm that he was shifting with.

He pulled away, then spoke. "What fucking meds?"

"I have a few issues, most of them dealing with PTSD. I have real panic attacks, like I did that night and I do forget. I just remember eventually. I need my medication to keep me from having them too often and too easily."

"PTSD, that shit soldiers get?"

"Anyone can get it, it's about having bad things happen to you, or seeing them, and kind of going back there in your mind. For them it's usually war or something. For me it's that trailer and this town."

"Not surprising. What pills?"

"For anxiety, depression, umm... a few other things."

"We ain't done," he rumbled as we pulled up to the little trailer.

He held onto my wrist painfully tight as he pulled me in. His mother looked almost the same, but much older and smaller. Maybe it was because I had grown? I wasn't sure.

"Julie! Julie, you came to see me, finally! Come over here and hug me!" his mom smiled, reaching for me.

I went to her and hugged her as Corin huffed. "Mom, Julie died years ago. Decades! She died when I was 7, remember?"

"Don't be silly, she's right here! Who are you? Are you here to fix the toilet? It's about time, it's right back there. Now Julie, you sit here with me and tell me all about where you've been! Do I have any grandkids yet?" she asked, gripping my hands.

I glanced at Corin who looked miserable and understood. His older sister had died when he was small, a drug overdose. Everyone knew about it, no one mentioned it.

I turned back to Doris with a smile. "No, no kids yet. Actually, I find I am back here for a while. I was married but it didn't work out. How've you been? Tell me everything that's been happening!" I told her, holding her hand as tightly as she was holding mine.

She gleefully told me all sorts of things that were happening. Corin sat in a chair across from us, looking miserable as he watched her. "Mom, that didn't happen! That was on the TV last night when I brought you dinner!"

Doris looked confused and upset for a moment, shaking her head.

I looked at Corin and shook my head slightly. "Doris? Tell me about all your favorite things to eat? I figure if I'm going to be in a town a while, I could stop in and make a lot of your favorite things when I come and visit."

She smiled again, looking excited. "You'll come and visit? Every day?"

"As often as I can," I promised. "Now tell me what you like to eat the most."

She went through the list, naming off things happily, many I'd never heard of.

I sat talking to her for a while longer and Corin finally stopped interrupting and just sat and watched.

Once we left, he was quiet and angry looking. I knew it was a different sort of anger, an anger that said he didn't like that she'd been so happy to see me and acted like she didn't know him.

"She's sick," I told him softly. "I'm sure of it. She thought I was her daughter. The good thing is, I know what she likes now and I can make things she connects with and might help her a little. I can go back on Monday maybe, while you're working and clean up there. Make her some meals she can microwave instead of just canned food. Not that there's anything wrong with canned food, it will just be a little break from the routine, something to give her a small happiness. She looks really good, you've been doing a great job taking care of her."

He said nothing as he drove back to the trailer. As soon as we got back inside, he put the collar on me, then left again, all without a word.

Instead of worrying over it, I went to my phone and ordered more groceries to be delivered the next day and looked up the things I didn't know. Most were things that hadn't been around for a long time.

Sitting there, I switched over to my contacts on the phone.

David.

My heart hurt looking at the name, knowing there was never anyone named David. Knowing he would never gently lock me into manacles again as he showered me in tender kisses, then slowly hurt me over and over again. He could make me come for him like I couldn't even do for myself. His soft words, his loving arms, his gentle and calm way of speaking. The way he would patiently teach me everything and still be able to hurt me enough that he could make me come. Never more, never less. He always took me there and he was always so loving about it. He'd been so perfect. Too perfect to be true.

He wasn't true.

I missed him so much!

I hit the call button and it went straight to an automated message. This number was no longer in service.

I ended the call, then lay there hugging the phone as I sobbed.

I knew no one else, there were no other numbers programmed into my phone. When I had left my job and moved with David, he'd gotten me a new phone. I had no family, no friends. They'd all been left behind at the one job I'd ever had.

I had nothing.

Hearing his truck pull up a long while later, I hurriedly put the phone up and wiped my face before hurrying out to the front.

Corin came in and looked me over as I smiled up at him.

"What the fuck have you been crying about?" he demanded sourly.

"I'm afraid I upset you, my Corin, and I don't know how to fix it."

"Shut the fuck up. Sit down over there till I say get up."

I sat on the end of the couch where he'd motioned to and watched him as he paced, watching me.

A few minutes later, Mike opened the door and came in, tossing Corin a set of keys.

My keys.

He'd gone and gotten my car!

"Thanks, man, see you later," Corin told Mike, who didn't even glance at me before leaving. Corin turned back to me. "All that shit you're on... all those pills. You really need all of them?"

"Yeah," I answered in a half whisper.

"PTSD and anxiety and shit. Depression. The one, I looked it up. It's for hallucinations. You see shit?"

"Comes with the territory with PTSD," I shrugged, still hardly speaking.

"The ones for sleep and sleepwalking and shit?"

"Those... seem self explanatory."

"Yeah. You walk around in your sleep a lot?"

"Only during bad episodes. Bad dreams... yeah. And I move a lot in my sleep unless I'm medicated. Acting out in my dreams."

"You really fucking need 34 pills a day?" he demanded, crossing his arms.

"Yeah," I whispered, feeling like that was an accusation.

"Who tells you this shit? That you need all this shit?"

"Doctors."

"You made sure? Made sure you needed all of them? They ain't just to get money from you?"

"I'm sure."

"I won't put up with no drug addict bullshit," he growled, stepping closer.

Oh. He wasn't going to make me go off my meds, he wanted to make sure I wasn't abusing meds.

I felt relieved, suddenly. "No, my Corin. I wouldn't take anything I didn't have to take. At all. Taking anything not prescribed by my doctor would make my meds useless and cause a lot of harm. Bring up everything I've been working so hard to leave behind. I don't want that. I only want to forget and be able to move on with my life."

"By having someone control your life and hurt you," he stated.

"It... keeps me calm if things are out of my hands. In the hands of someone I know is capable. Do... you have my meds? My things?"

"I have them in my truck."

"I'd like to take them if that's alright. I can feel things getting bad for me, including the nightmares and anxiety. I don't like having panic attacks and shutting down."

"You did that even on your meds."

"During a huge ordeal, after my husband died and his wife attacked me and I came back here and Grams house was destroyed and you were being so mean to me, saying you were going to kill me. Anyone would be tipped over the edge. I used to have them a few times a week and not once a year like on my meds."

"Look at me, Six," he demanded, moving closer and sitting next to me on the couch. "I don't fuck around with druggies. You make me think even one time that something you put in your body is for fun and not to help you, then... what the FUCK are you laughing at?" he demanded, grabbing me by the throat and shoving me down to the floor as he straddled me there and held me down.

I grabbed his wrist, but I was still laughing. "Corin!" I managed, finally. "Forgive me... but I put something in my body for pleasure all the time," I giggled. "Your cock in my mouth for one."

His fury drained, but he looked unamused. "You fucking know what I mean, whore," he hissed.

"I do. I know, and I can laugh about it because I've never had the slightest desire to do any illegal drugs. I've seen what they can do to people and I refuse to go out that way. I have no desire to even try it, let alone do it often. Though... I do have a lot of desire to do the other..." I smiled, sliding my hand up his thigh to rub his cock through his pants.

"Whore," he whispered, but there was a curl to his lip as he said it.

Standing up off of me, he left me there on the floor as he went out to his truck. He brought my bags in, all of them. Getting up, I followed him back to the bed and watched as he lifted the bed and put the bags in the space under it. There were other things under there as well. I'd had no idea the bed lifted that way. Unzipping my bigger bag, he pulled out the toiletry bag that was actually filled with nothing but my meds.

Handing it to me, he lowered the bed and sat on it, watching me.

I tried not to feel scrutinized as I unzipped it and pulled my tray out from on top of all the bottles. It was a monthly tray with column style tabs you pulled out with the day of the month on them. Each tab had three containers for morning, noon and evening. I took the ones for the evening, starting from the day I'd been arrested and missed that dose.

I looked up and Corin was still watching me with his scrutinizing gaze.

Climbing up on the bed next to him, I leaned on him and slid my hand up his thigh. "My Corin, have I been good enough to be allowed to please you now? Will you reward me with your cum?"

He snorted, then pushed me off of him as he stood up. "Take that shit off," he told me, his chin pointing at my clothes as he pulled off his own clothes.

For a fearful moment, I thought he was going to try and have sex with me. Something I did not want and was violently afraid of, not just because of bad memories, but because I wasn't on the pill.

When he laid back with his hands behind his head and his legs wide, I knew his mind wasn't on sex. At least not normal sex, just oral sex.

Climbing up after I was undressed, I looked up at him with a smile as I started kissing a trail up his long legs. Licking and kissing and rubbing my breasts on him, I moved slowly and looked over him as he watched me with a light in his eyes. Once I reached his cock, I moved around it, kissing around his hips and moving to squeeze my breasts around his long dick as he let out a blissful sigh. He was loving the attention lavished on him and wanted it more than he wanted sexual release.

Moving low again, I sucked his cock less like I was trying to get him off quickly and more like I was trying to show him how much I adored him. How much I wanted him and needed him. He came with a small whimpering moan, then let out a long, satisfied sigh of happiness. I kissed another trail up his chest to his neck and ran my hand up his arm still behind his head. Raising up, I kissed along his arm, purposefully dragging my breasts over his mouth. He sucked and kissed them with a grin as I dragged my lips over that soft skin on the underside of his arm.

"Mmmm, my Corin! I had thought you skinny, but your arms are so strong and solid! You're so fucking sexy! Feeling you like this... knowing what I know now... I wish so badly I'd bothered to get to know you. That I'd never listened to the wild stories people told about you and let myself be afraid of you. I wish I'd looked up on my walk home just once. I feel like I've wasted so much time! You were right here the whole time!" I breathed, letting my voice break. "Why couldn't I have seen you?" I sobbed, then curled up on him to cry brokenly. The tears weren't false, even what I was saying wasn't untrue. How different would things have been for me if I'd looked up just once and seen him watching me? If I'd looked back and seen how cute he was? If he'd spoken to me... saved me... I never would have left this place. I would have stayed here with him and...

And his temper would probably have ended me by now.

"No more of this," he admonished, but he didn't sound angry.

"Everything would be so different!" I wailed. "If I'd stayed just a couple more days! If you'd saved me, if I'd seen you! I always knew you were hot, but I was so afraid because of what people said... if I'd just SEEN you like you really are and not like what they all said! My life would be so different, Corin!"

"I said that's enough!" he admonished again, his arms going around me more tightly. "Them pills make you all emotional like this?"

"N-no... I'm sorry. I just... I feel like I've wasted so much time and lost so much. I never had to go anywhere, Corin," I whispered, still crying softly.

"Be quiet," he grumped. He still didn't sound angry. I was learning to tell the tones, the ones that said he wasn't serious, the ones that said I was pushing it and the ones that said he was on the brink of violence. Right now, he wasn't serious at all, he was pleased with everything I was saying. "Go to sleep," he commanded. "Or do you need punishing?"

I went still, holding my breath as I thought about what he was offering. I knew what he was saying. Not did I want him to hurt me, but did I want him to make me come.

"My Corin?"

"What?"

"Any other night I would beg for you to punish me until I scream for you in ecstasy... this night though, may I just have your arms? My heart hurts and I need you to hold me and heal me. As beautiful as coming for you sounds, tonight I need just a bit of affection? If it's not too much trouble?"