Sk8r Boi

"Oh my god." He said. "Your flatmates..." I shrugged.

"They've heard worse."

"Oh no." He buried his face in his hands. "Ok well I'll skip dinner and lie in again tomorrow and then literally never see them again."

"You can't not see them again!" I laughed as I stood up and shook myself off. "Come on. Rip the bandaid off wimp." He sighed.

"I hate you." He said as he looked up and me between splayed fingers. I laughed and pulled him up. I kissed his forehead.

"That's a shame." I said. "I was beginning to really like you."

——

Jared and Nicky were extremely polite and didn't say a word. Ash was bright red and it didn't seem to go away no matter how much wine I tried to press on him to relax him. He wasn't saying much but please and thank you as I made dinner again- a slightly less intensive meal of steak and chips. He caught my eye as we sat at the table together.

"Nice day?" Nicky said.

"So good. We had pancakes. We saw Predator. Ash broke my Millennium falcon so we worked on that." I grinned. "And then I..."

Ash choked on his drink.

"Dusty!"

"Made dinner?" I laughed as I looked at him. He sank a little in his chair. Jared tried to hide his laugh with a cough. "It's fine." I placed my hand on Ash's thigh. "Jared was even louder than you when he had his first..."

"Dusty!!!!!" Everyone said. I grinned as they rolled their eyes and hit me in various parts of my body.

"Oh you all love me really." I smiled as I stood up. "More wine?"

"A bottle each would be a start." Ash said. His face wasn't as red though. He'd get over it.

——- Boy comes clean ——

Ash was reading again in the morning and he wriggled away from me as I tried to cuddle.

"Hey!" I protested. He put the book down slowly and took a deep breath.

"We need to talk." He said slowly. I bit my lip as I sat up.

"Ok." Ash reached out and stroked my shoulder.

"Ok." He said. "Ok, look Dust. Here's what I'm worried about. You're a dom guy, and so am I, and that is what it is, we both like it that way or I would have said something earlier. But I'm worried, now that we're switching, that you're not going to be fair on me. It's... I mean it's kind of hot that you made me bottom last night, and I do like it, but I'm scared that will keep happening, and you'll never let me top.... and that's not fair." He glanced at me.

"Oh fuck." I said. "I got carried away. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be sorry about last night. Just... If we're switching we have to switch ok? If you want a soft little bottom that's not me."

"I know." I reached for his hand. "I don't want anyone else. I want you." Ash gritted his teeth.

"Ok." He said.

"What is it?"

"It's just..." He sighed. "You know how shit it is for guys like me?" He looked up at me. "It's always shit. Guys give me shit about my race and will message me on Grindr just to call me a chink, or even worse they want me to be a hairless Asian twink fetish for them. They want a sub they can throw around who wears panties.... and it's not fair and it's not who I am." I gripped his hand tight.

"I know that's not who you are." I said. "And... ok..." I started to blush. "Um. Maybe I have a type... but that's not just..." I winced. "It's because you skate, and because you game, and because I like long hair and scruffy faces. It's because you're funny and cool. You're not a fetish, I promise. I love you. And... you really don't need to worry about switching. If I've learned anything fooling around with you it's that if it comes to it I'll be happy being your slutty power bottom." Ash raised his eyebrow.

"Really?"

"Yeah, dude." I grinned. "I love it." He laughed and relaxed.

"I like it too." He said. "We're definitely both switching."

"Good." I said. Ash raised his eyebrows as he looked at me.

"Love huh?" I blushed. Well. That had slipped out I guess.

"I... yeah. I love you." I said slowly. I looked up at him cautiously. "Thanks for... talking to me." I said quickly. "You know you always can right?" He squeezed my hand.

"Of course." He said. "No secrets." He leant back on the bed and motioned for me to lie down with him. "And I guess... on that note... I love you too, Dust. I really love you." I sighed with relief as I fell into him and he cradled me. I looked up at him.

"I love you so much Ash." He pressed his lips to my forehead.

"I love you more." He whispered.

"Impossible."

We grinned and I settled into his chest as we debated breakfast.

No secrets though huh?

Dusty, you have to tell him.

——-

We were hanging at mine before a double date with Jared and Nicky and I got up to grab us more beer. When I came back he was sitting stiff, his arms folded. I nestled next to him and he flinched.

"Woah." I said. "Uh, what was that?" Ash sighed. He glanced at me.

"Well. Um. First- I'm so sorry for invading your privacy- I shouldn't have looked- but your phone just lit up and I..." He shook his head wildly as he handed it to me. "And second- you lying, cheating whore!" I blinked as I looked down at my phone. Oh.

Hey stud. Flatmates are out and I know how much you love being my on call daddy...

Callum.

Which it said very clearly. I glanced at Ash. He was shaking with anger and glaring at me.

"Oh Ash.."

"Don't oh Ash me!!!" He snapped. "You said you weren't seeing him!"

"I'm not, I promise! I mean, I saw him ok? Once! It wasn't anything serious!"

"Uh-huh?"

"This is the first time he's texted since then! Obviously I wouldn't go you fucking idiot!"

"Why would he text though? Doesn't he know you're not single?!" Ash looked like he was about to hit me and I sighed.

"Obviously not!!!" I said. "I swear Ash..."

"Well why didn't you tell him about me?!" Ash folded his arms. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"You're right." I said sarcastically. "Let's both go through all our old hookups right now and tell them not to text because we're in love with each other." Ash singled dramatically and stared straight ahead.

"Ok. You're right. That's dumb."

"Ashley... I promise I'm telling the truth." I sat next to him and reached for his hand which he reluctantly slipped into mine.

"Call him." He said quietly.

"What?"

"Call him." He insisted. "On speaker." I sighed.

"Fine."

I called him and put the phone on Ash's knee.

"Well hi." Callum picked up. "You coming over?"

"No." I said.

"Aw. Tease."

"I called to let you know I'm seeing someone." I said.

"Oh!" Callum said. "Sorry dude. I'll lose your number."

"Yeah. Thanks Cal." I looked at Ash to see if that was enough. He screwed up his face.

"How many times?" He said into the phone.

"Huh?" Callum said. I rolled my eyes, hoping Ash didn't see me do that.

"That's him." I said. "You ah you surprised me with that text and we ah..."

"Oh!" I could hear him smiling. "Well, dude, hi, And just the once."

"When?" Ash asked.

"Like ... seven weeks ago? He was just out of surgery." Ash sighed with relief and sat back on the couch. He started to laugh as he looked at me.

"Just out of surgery? You damn whore." I laughed at his expression.

"Are we good?" I asked. Ash squeezed my hand.

"Callum right?" He said into the phone, picking it up and taking it off speaker. "We met actually." He laughed at whatever Callum said. "Ashley Wang. Shattered thumb. Yeah that's right. I know. I know, we're adorable." He laughed. "Alright. Sorry to cock block you bro. Yeah you too. Alright man, see ya." He hung up and passed my phone to me. "Nice guy." He said. I laughed and ruffled his hair. He leant into me and bit his lip. "Sorry Dust. You gotta admit that was a red flag." I squeezed him tight.

"Totally." I said.

We held each other for a minute as my brain ticked over. Well. This was it. If I didn't, now I never would. I had to rip the bandaid off.

"Hey..." I said slowly. "I actually have another pretty giant red flag I should probably mention." Ash glanced at me.

"Oh?" I nodded and pulled him up.

We wandered to the kitchen and I pulled open the pantry door. I looked at him as he looked at all the photos and the newspaper clippings. I bit my lip and pointed to one of us.

"So um. That's Drew." I said. Ash looked at me and his eyes softened. He reached for my hand. "We're kind of a package deal." I said quietly. I squeezed his hand. "I mentioned I was in therapy- and well. This is why." I slowly pulled the funeral program off the fridge and handed it to him. "I've been a bit of a mess." I admitted. "But I'm getting better." I sighed. "I'm real sorry Ash. I'll always love him." Ash nodded and I cleared my throat. "And I love you too. But... I totally understand if it's a bit much, sharing me with a dead guy." Ash choked, not sure if it was ok to laugh, and I squeezed his hand as I smiled.

"Well." Ash said slowly. "I mean I think I just proved I'm a jealous cunt.... but I think I'm ok with that." He put his arm around me. "I love you too Dust. If he's half the man you are I think I can adjust to sharing." I leant my head on Ash.

"He was twice the man I'll ever be." I kissed Ash's head and fell into his embrace. Ash held me tight.

"Then I'm honoured." He whispered.

——

I led him up the hill and we paused by the post. I sighed and clasped Ash's hand. He squeezed it back, even though I was sweaty and gross. I gestured to the post.

"Hey dipshit." I cleared my throat. Oh man. I really thought I could do this. I felt my eyes get all wet and I sniffed. "This is Ash. I uh. I think you'll like him." I choked on the last word as my eyes got blurry. Ash wrapped his arm around me as I stood still, stubbornly trying to keep my eyes focussed ahead.

"Hey." Ash said quietly. "Nice to meet you Drew."

It was too hard. I took a deep breath and he could hear the shudder as I inhaled. Ash pulled us to sit down and I lay my head on his shoulder, silently letting the tears fall.

"You got a real nice man Drew." Ash said, stroking my hair. "I'm trying to take good care of him for you."

And we sat in silence.

——-

In memory of Michael- I hope the fact that I can't write a story without copious amounts of anal sex is taken in the spirit it was intended. Hope you laughed, hope you cried, home you came.

— Nik