Skyler

Skyler had broken up with her girlfriend via email and was feeling down in the dumps. One morning, Mitch went for his five mile run and I jumped into bed with her to try to console her about the break up. She was clad in a bare midriff tee-shirt and thong panties and looked enormously sexy.

"It wasn't meant to..." she blubbered and the sight of her tears made my heart twist with sorrow. I held her tenderly and massaged her back hoping to comfort her.

When Skyler gazed at me with a heartrending expression, I lost it. I was consumed with an intense desire for her. Before I realized it, we were crying and kissing at the same time. Abruptly, the tears stopped but we remained in a lip lock that grew more passionate.

"Oh God, I want you Sky," I groaned. The need for her was compelling.

"I know...I want you too..."

"Oh, how I've missed you," I moaned, returning her kisses.

"You can't possibly imagine how much I've missed you," she answered.

Like a woman possessed, I lifted her top and hungrily suckled her lovely breasts. As I nursed like a starving baby, she cried out in ecstasy.

With her hot butt in my grasp, I feasted on Skyler's scrumptious slit. Her pussy frothed with juices from my ferocious licking and I greedily gulped the pungent nectar down my throat. The taste was sublimely more elegant than sperm and I comprehended why guys like Mitch craved going down on their girl.

Skyler wanted to reciprocate but I heard the screened door bang and flew out of bed into the bathroom. Still clad in a sports bra and panties, I jumped into the shower a moment or two before Mitch entered.

"Hey babe!" I called to Mitch and stuck my head stuck out from the shower curtain.

Mitch gave me a quick smile and moved to kiss me but I blocked my mouth, still coated with Skyler's fluids, with my hand.

"Bad breath...haven't had a chance to brush," I mumbled.

Mitch stared at me suspiciously but shrugged his shoulders and left.

Later as we were preparing to go the beach, I caught Skyler's eye and gave her the "whew, that was too close" look. But, inside I knew that what Skyler and I shared was for us and not part of my world with Mitch. It was how I wanted it and I instinctively understood that Skyler preferred it that way.

In spite of Mitch's pleading, I refused to engage Skyler in any sordid threesome. But, I did compromise of sorts. During a very heated lovemaking session, I told him what it felt like for me to be with another woman.

Mitch got so turned on that he devoured my pussy and butt until I had several orgasms. All he wanted from me was a hand-job and I pumped his throbbing manhood until he shot copious ropes of semen that splashed onto his belly and chest.

When Mitch left to return home, I had a premonition that our days together were numbered. In the little amount of time that I was intimate with Skyler, I recognized deep in my soul that I loved her and not just as a friend. But, I was unnerved and tried to deny my emotions. Before Skyler left for school, I wanted to tell her my feelings. I just didn't know how or even if she felt the same way about me.

****

As senior year, our final year at college got underway Mitch sensed that I was on edge about something. My thoughts kept turning to Skyler and no matter how much I tried to bury them they simmered just below the surface of my psyche.

Looking back, I was completely blind to the fact that it was the beginning of the end. I was living in an off campus apartment with Mitch and it gave me a false sense of what it might be like to be married. Something as simple as not planning on when and where to have sex was a tremendous relief.

In essence, it was a fitting prelude to tying the knot, something that we rushed headlong into without really thinking. Mitch asked me to marry him and we officially became engaged on Christmas Eve.

A few days afterward, I was lying on Skyler's bed, holding my hand above me with the diamond ring sparkling in the light, showing it off. She was happy for me and it showed in her pretty face.

But the desire I felt for her hadn't shrunk at all. My attraction was overpowering and my actions belied my true feelings when I took her in my arms and kissed her; a wet, soul searching mouth on mouth crush that enflamed every nerve ending in my body.

"I want you," I blubbered. I looked away from her as shame and remorse over my actions took hold of me. To my shock and amazement, the reality that I was in love with my closest friend resonated throughout my heart and soul.

Skyler refused to let go and kissed me with such abject passion that it took my breath away. My will was no longer my own and we made love, glorious love.

"Oh Sky...oh Sky..." I cried repeatedly as the heat rose to an incandescent inferno.

There was an enduring chemistry between us. Our sexual liaisons rivaled and eclipsed what I shared with Mitch. But whenever the thought of me as Skyler's companion or her partner presented itself, I pushed it from my mind. I didn't dare discuss the possibility with her and I purposely avoided those conversations.

Skyler was a patient young woman and the night before we returned to college she spoke her mind,

"Dana...I just wanted to say that...I love you..."

"I love you too, Sky."

"No Dana...I LOVE YOU..." she exclaimed.

My silence wasn't a rejection of Skyler as she gazed at me with a loving expression that seared my being. It burrowed into my soul and my eyes erupted with tears.

Clinging to her as if my entire life depended on it, I bawled. I had no answer. I was engaged to Mitch and I was living with him.

"I...don't know what to say..." I paused, my mind confused.

Skyler's piercing look penetrated my heart. I loved her far more than I loved Mitch and she knew it. Sometimes the best that life has to offer can be staring a person right in the face and they fail to take advantage. Nothing more was spoken and we spent the night in a tender embrace.

Like a stupid fool, I rushed headlong into oblivion and married Mitch in May at a small chapel near campus. It was by far the most pig headed and stupid thing that I had done in my otherwise carefully planned life. I would live to regret it. Only my former roommate Laurel was there to witness the ceremony.

I insisted on finding an apartment in my home town and it made for one long commute to Mitch's job in New York City. But after substitute teaching for only six months I found a permanent position in a district only a twenty minute drive away.

Since my wedding day, I'd been purposely avoiding Skyler. Her emails and IM's were polite but as time passed, more agitated. She must think I'm a total idiot for marrying Mitch, I thought several times.

We spoke on the phone at least once a week and while she was as warm and friendly as before, I could detect something in her demeanor. It was a subtle, underlying tone of melancholy that really affected me.

I resisted my overpowering urge for face to face contact with Skyler because I knew that once I was in her presence, my heart would leap with joy. And, I'd want her. I'd want to have sweaty, hungry, pulse-pounding girl sex with her. More than that, the urge to be with her every day in a loving relationship would dominate my feelings. It scared me witless.

When I learned that she had obtained a contract to teach high school in the same district as me, I enthusiastically congratulated her and we set a time and date to meet for lunch. We had garnered employment in our chosen fields; a fair achievement in a short amount of time.

I had to see her. I missed her terribly. Now, I recognized the fact that I was rushing headlong into different kind of oblivion, one that I would be incapable of turning back from.

The day of my luncheon with Skyler, I had a fight with Mitch. As good as he was at giving head, I was totally pathetic at returning the favor. It was the one area in our sex life that was, pardon the pun, a bone of contention between us.

I nearly gagged every time he came in my mouth and I would spit out his offensive spunk with vehemence. This time Mitch was furious and expressed his feelings audibly. Although I felt sheepish about my lack of ability, I got angry right back. He stormed out the apartment without a goodbye, or kiss declaring he was late for work.

I sat in my kitchen and cried my heart out. But, this was much more than a sexual problem. Since the wedding, we'd been fighting and arguing at an increasingly alarming rate. Why were we so combative, I asked myself?

We couldn't agree on the most basic things: like what to eat for dinner, what to do on our days off, what music we wanted to listen to and the list was growing longer every day. In plain English we weren't getting along. A huge part of me loved the handsome lug and I wanted to make our marriage work. We were still newlyweds.

When I spoke to my mother about it, she told me it took her two years to get used to my father and his idiosyncrasies. Then she got pregnant with my sister Samantha and it changed their marriage dynamic.

"It brought us much closer together dear," she soothed. The implication in her voice was clear.

"I'm not ready for a baby, mom," I said with exasperation.

"Dana, I hope you didn't think that I was implying..."

I cut her off. "I'm sure you weren't, mother." Although my tone was placating, I knew damn well what she meant.

But, I blamed myself for my marital upheaval. Why couldn't I wait another year or two to wed? In the recesses of my mind, I recognized the real answer. It was fear. Fear of my true feelings for another person had driven me to rush into marriage unprepared. I was in love with someone else and I was meeting her for lunch later that day.

The mere fact that it was Skyler, my dearest friend in the world, scared me speechless. The dichotomy of my life; I loved Mitch but my yearning, my longing for Skyler was simply too powerful a tug on my soul. When I let my real feelings surface, I realized that I loved a woman, a wonderful sexy woman.

As I was crying and thinking about my failure, the image of Meaghan's smiling face popped into my head. I held the kind of conversation in my head with her that we would have had in life.

"You've made real mess of things, Dana."

"I know but what can I possibly do to fix it."

"You have to do the right thing. It's the only way. Follow your heart, it won't fail you." Her disembodied voice was kind but firm.

"But, I don't want to hurt Mitch," I said aloud in the empty room.

"Do you love him?"

"Yes but..."

The answer, the way out of the dilemma was apparent with the potential that things could get ugly between Mitch and me, very ugly.

I met Skyler at Del Buono's Restaurant and she was positively glowing. We hugged like long lost sisters and tears coursed down my face.

"Dana, are you that happy to see me?" she asked, and the affectionate look on her face stirred my heart.

I nodded and fought like hell to control my emotions. When we were seated, I couldn't take my eyes off her. My pulse was racing.

"So, how's married life?" she asked, and the tears made another appearance.

"It's...oh..." I was incapable of continuing.

"Shit Dana, you've been a weeping willow since you got here."

"Sorry," I said, and regained control.

I tried to put a positive spin on my marriage but Skyler knew me too well.

"Trouble in Paradise, huh?" she asked.

All I could do was nod my head.

"I love him Sky but..." and my voice trailed off.

We ate in uncharacteristic silence with me in a solemn mood. My mind was a tornado of activity and there were so many things I wanted to say.

Skyler was dressed in a short but classy skirt with a matching blouse opened just enough to show the swell of her perky breasts. Her olive skin was lustrous and her beauty, matchless. I realized that she was lovelier than ever; a woman in the full bloom of youth.

The way she gestured, her self-confident but artless demeanor, her lips full, red and begging to be kissed, her eyes so incredibly alive and sparkling...she was the total package of womanhood, of desire. I wanted her and shyly, I asked her to come back to my apartment.

"Why Dana? So you can take advantage of me?" she asked humorously. But, the expression of absolute need on my face betrayed my intent. Skyler blushed and it blew me away. My panties were already damp and by the time we reached my flat, flooded.

As soon as I closed the front door, I was all over her, kissing, hugging and mewling my need.

"Jesus Sky, I've missed you!" I cried out.

"Dana...Dana...Dana..." she kept repeating my name.

I practically ripped her blouse off and a few buttons exploded from the fabric. When I apologized, she responded by shoving a bullet hard nipple in my mouth.

"Shut up and suck," she ordered.

Lord, did I suckle like a malnourished infant. With my tongue lathing the length of her swollen nip, my lips tugged delicately at the hypersensitive flesh. The primal sensation of the turgid bud surrounded by my mouth satisfied a deep need that I had been denying myself.

With clothes littering the floor, Skyler collapsed on top of me. My body was in the opposite direction and she threw her legs behind my head. We indulged in a sumptuous sixty nine pussy banquet. A hunger, a boundless hunger enveloped me and I greedily swallowed her fragrant tart juices. My tongue resembled a paint brush as it made long sweeping strokes up and down her slippery slit. When I ate her ass, she shrieked with delight.

"Oh Dana...oh fuck...oh...oh..."

But Skyler was hell bent on giving me just as much pleasure and savagely licked my pussy until it erupted.

"Oh Fuck!" I wailed.

A gooey finger invaded my butt hole and I gasped as another intense orgasm blasted through my heaving crease. Skyler sucked my throbbing hole vigorously and I had the eerie but enormously satisfying sensation that my bodily fluids were draining into her mouth.

It took me quite a long time to recover and in Skyler's tender embrace, I found a peace that I never knew existed. I was with the person that I loved above all others. My heart was pulsating with emotion and my soul resounded with the rapture that she brought to my life.

"I love you, Sky," I said. My voice was clear and when I turned to face her, she took me in her arms.

We kissed with impassioned zeal. My feelings were laid bare and I wanted to be hers for the rest of my life. The sight of Meaghan's happy, knowing face flashed through my head. I had to follow where my heart led me and it was in Skyler's arms that I belonged.

"You know that I love you Dana. What are we going to do?" she asked.

The intense desire to be with Skyler, spend the nights in her comforting embrace and wake to her lovely countenance was enormously strong. Never before in my twenty three years did I yearn so deeply to be with someone.

"I'm not being fair to Mitch. I have to tell him..." I answered.

But, I couldn't bring myself to say anything to Mitch that night. My courage was sorely lacking. Late afternoons, after the end of the school day, were spent with Skyler in my bed, the same bed I shared with my husband. Our lovemaking was ardent, zealous and so filled with love that I was moved to tears each time.

As the long shadows of the late afternoon sun played off the ceiling, Skyler would hold my naked body as I sniffed back tears of extreme regret. My impulsive decision to marry Mitch was causing me a different kind of heartache. The ache for a person who did absolutely nothing wrong and loved me. I was torn between my two loves.

I was cheating on Mitch... regardless of the fact that it was with a woman, it was cheating nonetheless. I was wracked with guilt over my actions.

When Mitch asked me if I minded him going on a golf weekend to South Carolina with some of his college buddies, I packed his bags for him. I was desperate for him to go so I could be with Skyler. A whole weekend! I was delighted.

It was easily the most satisfying and heavenly three days of my life. My love for Skyler was deep, profound and penetrated to my very core. My affair with her had reached boiling point. Something had to give.

We were reclining, naked as jaybirds, side by side on the sofa and Skyler was gazing at me with the fondest expression.

"I still can't believe how hard I've fallen for you...I mean when ya think back..." she paused.

"I'm yours, body and soul Sky," I exclaimed, my cheeks wet with tears.

Facing the biggest dilemma of my young life, I resolved to tell Mitch when he returned but lost my nerve at the last minute. Then, one night after a quiet dinner, he gazed at me with a troubled look. Just when I thought he was going to say something, he clammed up.

My distant, frosty exterior must have been maddening to him. I shied away from lovemaking and feigned a variety of physical ailments as an excuse. Every night my face betrayed my inner anxiety as we ate dinner in silence, interrupted only by inane discussion of the trivial events of the day.

Finally, I resolved to tell Mitch and dropped an overnight bag off at Skyler's apartment. I was intent on spending the night with her and many more to come.

Although I made dinner, it was rather pointless. Neither of us would feel like eating when I told him about Skyler and me. The bottle of wine on the table was more appropriate. I would need a glass or two or three before the night was over.

As I waited for Mitch, my thoughts turned to Meaghan and Skyler, my experiences and my memories. What an incredible journey!

But, it was Meaghan's influence that turned my life around. I went from being an insecure, overweight and painfully shy girl to someone comfortable in her own skin, able to love and be loved.

"This may sound trite but you have to love yourself before you can really love someone else," she'd stated, not long before she died.

I owe it all to you Meaghan, I thought. I never told you or thanked you properly but I am now. Please accept my deepest gratitude. I love you my dear friend and I miss you. I'll always have a special place in my heart for you, my inner dialogue a prayer for her departed soul.

I couldn't help myself and sobbed. I believed that Meaghan's effect on Skyler resulted in the changes that transformed her first as my friend, then my lover and now the woman I was committed to spending the rest of my life with.

I heard the key in the door and braced myself for what was to come. It was an exceedingly painful night with Mitch but in the end, he let me go. The tears were abundant and flowed continuously from both of us.

"...so you don't love me?" he asked. Frustration and sorrow were written all over his handsome face.

I took my husband in my arms and looked up at him. "My love...I don't know how to explain...I love you but...it's not that I love her more...I want to be with her..." I couldn't bring myself to say that I actually did love her more, a lot more. I was fighting back an ocean of tears and could only hug him in sympathy.

"I love you Dana. I remember the first time I saw you in the college gym, you were one of the cutest, hottest babes I ever saw...I...just tell me you're certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt that you know what your doing..."

I was certain about my desire, my longing to be with Skyler. There was no use denying it and if I did, what would our marriage be like, with me knowing in my heart that I'd rather be with someone else? I might not be unhappy at first but it would eat away at me and eventually cause a more painful and acrimonious separation.

I held Mitch tightly. 'Yes, my love. I'm sorry...please forgive me...try to find it in your heart to forgive me..." The tears streamed down my face and I already felt like a stranger in my apartment. I don't belong here, I thought and imagined Skyler waiting patiently for me.