All Comments on 'Slave Camp Ch. 03'

Quite a few stories on this theme often do not delve into background and explanations of what transpired into a society's norms. This story definitely does give a lot of such words to explain why people are slaves. I do not think it does not overdo it. I would like to know what Derek has been doing with Rhonda and Caroline since he took ownership of them. Now, why is Rhonda in the Slave Camp is one question that was kind of answered but not the main reason. Also, what is Caroline going through now that Rhonda is not around. There was a slight mention that Derek was using Caroline more than Rhonda but not to any extent. I would like to know more about Caroline since she is 20 years old. Is she in school or is she being loaned out by Derek? I do like that there are some hard limits that both an owner and slave have to acknowledge as it makes the story more believable.

Hopefully a story will start soon. But since everything is about world building, I think you are saying that Communism is the only way to fix Capitalism...right?

The concept here seems to be: By placing 1% of the workforce of a capitalist society into slavery, we can strengthen the economic value of the entire economy. It work likes this: The Communist government (slave owners) put their proletariat (slaves) to work and takes all of their earnings and places them into a pool. They then will use that pool to provide all the goods and services their proletariat (slaves) needs. Since the proletariat (slaves) need little to nothing, the monies held by the Communist government (slave owners) will be used to strengthen the external capitalist economic cycle.

But how does it really? Let's just go with Derek, Chad, Rhonda, and Caroline. Dereck is already set for life and is frugal - adding $100K (post taxes Chad 25K, Rhonda 50K, Caroline $25K) more a year for 20 years to his finances will create no new spend on his part and simply concentrates un-spendable wealth. A capitalist economy relies on people having the ability to buy things and then actually buying those things. This isn't happening.

So where does the economic kick occur? And if it does well for a mere 1% of the workforce numbers - why not go to a larger communist or socialist approach to drive deeper and stronger economic cycles like free college education for all but all then you get 10 years of slavery - like a modified GI college bill but instead of working in the military you work where ever the government tells you to.

Putting slaves to work at companies does nothing that isn't already being done. About 18% of eligible prisoners are employed by UNICOR and are paid less than $1.25 an hour. Prisons have gradually become a source of low-wage labor for corporations seeking to outsource work to inmates. Corporations that utilize prison labor include Walmart, Eddie Bauer, Victoria's Secret, Microsoft, Starbucks, McDonald's, Nintendo, Chevron Corporation, Bank of America, Koch Industries, Boeing and Costco Wholesale.

Also you noted "if a company offers 401k contributions or profit sharing bonuses to employees, then slaves are entitled to the same" - doesn't make sense as both of these are considered wages, and since all wages earned belong to your owner, you (the slave) get zero. In Rhonda's case working as an inmate nurse in a prison toady she would have earned $1.25*8hrs*5days*52 weeks*20 years=she leaves prison with approx $52K. At least she can get an apt, a car, and try to start over. In this story Rhonda in 20 years is an institutionalized slave and has nothing when she hits the halfway house.

Finally since we are only doing world building, what are the full rules on tats and pierces - can a high school teacher slave have a tat on their face saying "call my owner at 555-1212 to use me"? Can any slave? And if so what's the difference?

This is a site for erotic work and you have avoided any real sex scenes so far.

Why teach Rhonda that she only really has value to Derek if she works? This gives her leverage to refuse to work as a nurse as she really is in a lose lose situation as she will still have nothing when she hits age 65. There is no real motivation for her to work and if she refuses Derek loses the income and is still stuck with his slaves. You can only shock and whip a person so many times until it loses its effectiveness.

If you had the threat of selling Caroline overseas to a brothel to never be seen again then you have leverage. Or even a local brothel but you eliminate that option.

Yes your comments are valid. If you review the timeline of the story, The slaves are barely through half the FIRST day of slave camp. In the next chapter I explain why Derek kept Caroline with her mother and why for now he is keeping the father (although he would rather get rid of the man) and there is sex.

The working slaves DO have something when they hit 65. They get their social security they work ed for plus whatever 401k and bonuses their employers provided and locked away. Net income goes tot he owner. Ch 4 is long and goes beyond just sex but it is there.. In the editing /submission process now

Too many details, more action would not hurt

Overall as a piece of writing it’s well written but it does have some glaring issues.

“...crime of sexual assault. Now this is a crime where the man was almost considered guilty until proven innocent. That has been the case until slavery came along...”

No that is not the case, not at all. That’s a bullshit statement, the vast majority of victims have their sexual history publicly examined. Unless a rape victim has been proven guilty of previously submitting false rape claims their previous sexual history should NEVER be mentioned. In the real world men are not automatically guilty of sex crimes, those cases are a minefield of legal dispute, hard evidence is required or the accused goes free. Here in the UK the guilty verdict can be passed where the evidence proves the guilt ‘beyond reasonable doubt’ so things like; a confession, corroborating witnesses, physical evidence or any combination of these things. Yet somehow in this dystopian future you’ve written about Derek was imprisoned for the assault without the case even being investigated?? The so called “case” was only investigated at sentencing. I know our legal systems are different but I’m pretty sure that criminal cases over there do get investigated.

There’s very little point in discussing the fictional 30th Amendment as opposed pre-existing 13th Amendment because it’s already been raised.

One of the only human rights still available to judicial slaves was that they would not be unduly abused physically or mentally, so;

“.. You will undoubtedly be marked and altered both physically and mentally, but not DESTROYED. I said before the idea is to leave you relatively intact."

However, that’s completely contradicted by this;

“... After several years slaves become institutionalized. We see signs of this after only five or six years. They need to be told what to do. Many lose the ability to function on their own...”

So how can the effect of institutionalisation not be considered as a negative factor as regards physical and mental health? The US doesn’t have a Welfare State approach to its citizens as seen here in the UK and some other European countries. How are these ex-cons supposed to be able to function? These are two of the areas in which realism is abandoned. There hasn’t been an explanation on the maintenance of judicial slaves barring the Slave Camp training being paid for by the new owners. If that’s the same as regards to the day to day management it doesn’t make any sense why Derek would retain ownership of all 3. It makes more sense to sell Rhonda and the idiot husband just keeping the daughter.

Whilst I’ve been reading this I’ve also wondered why the case of the surgeon’s wife hasn’t been classified as abuse? From what I’ve read it’s inferred that slavery dissolves a marriage? She is also clearly as dumb as a bag of rocks if she thinks he’s going to remarry her after his release because current she’s abusing him or is it a case of he’ll just do what he’s been told to do because he’s brainwashed? Now given all of the things raised so far and that very little has happened sexually to this woman and her family yet, but just the mention of what others have endured so far is enough of a turn off for me to quit the story here. I am always wary of any stories on this site that involve individuals AND a grown up child, as it’s an erotic story website it pretty much screams some abnormal interaction (aka incest) that’s a hard NO for me. Personally I think this type of story belongs in the Horror section, and that’s without the introduction of incest. The entire thing so far is just a straightforward non erotic story. Legally being unable to say no doesn’t mean that it’s ok to rape someone, regardless of the fact that their laws say a slave cannot be raped. Sort I don’t think rape is sexy. CNC is sexy but not this.

Best of luck with your writing, you clearly have talent but this is not something I find erotic. Thanks for writing and sharing.

Tess (UK)

The surgeon’s wife is the most evil person in this series. He took the rap for their bad decision to drive instead of taking a taxi. He trusted her legal knowledge to make the best of a relatively short slavery. She repays his sacrifice and trust by backstabbing and betraying him in the worst way possible. No way he remarries that bitch when he is freed.

Re: anon and convictions for sexual assault. I think our author may have overgeneralized from the court kid public opinion. A good number of famous and powerful men hav head their careers ended overnight without even mentio of a courthouse. My favorite response is Keanu Reeves’ whose open hand can often be seen behind but clearly distant from the other person a photograph.

Kind of incredulous at the Doctor and his wife. "Oh yeah, she sends him to suck dick and get butt-raped regularly, but she doesn't cheat on him so they're still a loving couple." Like wut. And it's not like he comes out of those camps on a semen high either. He cries afterwards. It's just so far out field I can never quite get past it. I mean, grab a hundred million people and you'll probably find a person like that but still.

This is a minor technical nitpick, but IRL it would be a killer problem (literally). While it is never clear exactly how long a charge for the collar lasts, the failure mode is catastrophic. An extended regional power-outage (hurricane, flood, earthquake, or several windy California days in a row) could result in the gruesome deaths of almost all collared slaves in that region. Better make sure you have a generator or some other type of backup power for collar recharging. Missed the chance to make that part of Derek's motivation for self-sufficiency :)

Also later in the story, you allude to needing a phone to do the charging. Another not so safe design decision, as modern phones can be lost or flaky (better have some backup phones if you care about keeping your slaves alive). Given a long enough charge period it reduces the risk. But if the charge lasts a long time and is not kept topped off, than even a short period of no power or lost phone could trigger the gruesome death.

I'll keep it short

This story, and the series, are crap.