Sleepless

"Okay," said Mrs. Bennett. "How old was I when we first had sex?" she asked.

"What the hell does that have to do with Brittany?" Mr. Bennett asked.

"Just answer the question," Mrs. Bennett insisted.

"Eighteen," stated Mr. Bennett quietly but he stared at me.

"And how old were you?"

"Nineteen."

"When did we begin to live together?" asked Mrs. Bennett.

Mr. Bennett thought for a moment. "1996," he said.

"What year was Brittany born?" asked Mrs. Bennett.

"What the ...," uttered Mr. Bennett.

"Answer the question," interrupted Mrs. Bennett.

"2004."

"When did you graduate from law school?" Mrs. Bennett continued.

"2006," he replied.

"When did we get married?" asked Mrs. Bennett.

Mr. Bennett looked determined not to answer.

"Harold!" said Mrs. Bennett.

"2006," he whispered.

Brittany's hands shot in front of her mouth as she gasped at the answer.

"So," concluded Mrs. Bennett. "Who's too young to make decisions about the rest of her life?"

"We struggled," commented Mr. Bennett. "We lived on franks and beans and cold cereal. At times we had nothing to eat at all. Brittany doesn't have to struggle. We've planned it all out for her. All she has to do is go to school. Everything else is waiting for her."

"Yes, we struggled," said Mrs. Bennett. "And we're better for it. The decisions and compromises we made while struggling made us stronger and our success possible. I submit that without the struggle, we wouldn't be where we are today."

"What if I want to struggle?" asked Brittany.

"You don't have to," insisted Mr. Bennett. "What about our legacy?" he asked. "What about the law firm?"

"This is about me, not you," insisted Brittany. "Find someone else to run the law firm. Find an intern or a law student. Mentor them and train them. Then turn the firm over to them and maintain a partnership with the firm that will pay you for the rest of your life," she suggested.

"If you want to struggle, then struggle," insisted Mr. Bennett. "But I'll have nothing to do with it. I'll not pay for your education except for law school and I won't contribute a single dime for anything else." He got up from the table and left us alone in the kitchen.

Mrs. Bennett watched him go. "He'll get over it," she opined. "Meanwhile, why don't you kids share some of your thinking with me?"

Brittany and I spent the next twenty minutes outlining our thoughts on the future, going to the same school and living together. We answered her questions honestly and we discussed the possibilities, both good and problematic, like adults. When we were finished, Mrs. Bennett summed up the discussion. "It's the beginning of a plan. One with real possibilities. But you have to realize that nothing ever goes as planned. The real opportunities come with how well you adapt to the unexpected things."

"I think James and I are strong enough to endure and overcome whatever we encounter," insisted Brittany.

"I believe you are," agreed Mrs. Bennett. "But you're not alone. You have us. Dad and I, and we're going to help."

"But dad, ..." said Brittany.

"I'll handle your father," insisted Mrs. Bennett. "Here's what we're going to do. We'll pay your and James' tuition at State and an apartment for the three of you to live in. You'll have to pay for the rest, books, food, utilities and the rest. If that means either, or both, of you have to work part time to raise the funds, so be it. That's part of the struggle."

"But dad, ..." repeated Brittany.

"I told you I'll handle it," repeated Mrs. Bennett. "He won't like it but he'll agree. You two just worry about getting it done."

Britt and I left her parent's house together planning to meet with my mother to let her know what we were planning. We sat in the car in front of her house to discuss the proposal from her mother.

"Do you really think your mother can get your father on board?" I asked.

"She can and I believe she will," insisted Britt. "And when she does, we can move out to State before the start of the semester and start living together."

"We have some issues to resolve," I suggested.

"What issues?" Britt asked.

"We need to register at State," I told her.

"That's just a paperwork issue," suggested Britt.

"I don't think it will be that simple," I offered. "I'm sure the school has already filled their rosters for the fall semester. We might not be accepted."

"We'll put in applications and sign up for night school as commuting students in the meantime. That way we'll get a jump on the requirements before we can attend full time," suggested Britt.

"That could work," I agreed. "But there's another problem and it's not fixed that easily."

"I'm listening," said Britt.

"I'm concerned about the living arrangements your mother suggested," I said.

"How so?" asked Britt. "Our own apartment with her and dad paying the rent. I don't think we'll have a problem making enough money for the expenses."

It's not the expenses that concern me," I said. It's the occupants."

"Occupants?" asked Britt.

"Your mother said 'the three of you,'" I reminded her.

"I assume she meant your sister since she already goes to state. I like Jessie. I don't think there'll be a problem and she can contribute to the expenses. I think it's a win-win for all of us."

"You don't think she'll be a problem with us, ... you know, having sex?" I asked.

"I think she'll understand," said Britt. "She might even encourage it and we won't mind if she has an occasional guest, even overnight."

"I agree but things are more complicated than that," I admitted.

"Explain," said Britt.

"Jessie is my sister. We're very close. We're used to being together. Being separated might become a problem," I told her.

"I don't see it," said Britt. "You'll still be together. You'll see each other every day. How can that be a problem?"

"That is the problem," I tried to explain. "You and I will be living together, sleeping together. Jessie and I will see each other every day. We'll be sharing the same space but we'll still not be together."

Britt was silent for several long minutes. She was obviously trying to put the pieces together. Finally, she asked, "How close are you and your sister?"

I hung my head in shame and whispered, "Probably too close."

Britt's silence was unsettling. "Are you fucking your sister?" she finally asked.

"That's a crude description," I countered. "It's not like that."

"Not like what?" she asked.

"Fucking," I said. "I'm not fucking her any more than I'm fucking you."

Another long silence. "I understand your feeling," she said. "I'm sorry I phrased it that way but you are having sex with your sister."

"Thank you," I softened. "I am."

"Do you love her?" asked Britt.

"I do," I admitted. I continued rapidly before she could interrupt. "But it's not the same as I love you. It's a love I have for my sister. Not the romantic love I have for you. Loving you is like being immersed in an ocean of emotion that sex with you authenticates. Sex with Jessie is an expression of the admiration we have for each other. It's a thank you for being there for each other. It's physical, like a hug or a kiss. Just more intense."

Britt listened attentively. She nodded as if in agreement. "Can you tell me how you and Jessie managed to go beyond hugs and kisses?" she asked.

I spent the next twenty minutes telling Britt how Jessie sleeps in the nude, how she satisfies her nighttime hunger by going to the kitchen in the middle of the night, without concern for her nakedness when everyone else was asleep. I described how I accidently saw her tiptoeing to the kitchen and realizing she was naked, how she discovered I was watching and how that revealed a latent exhibitionist appetite in her and how the rest was history.

Britt took several minutes to think. "And you think her 'appetite' may a problem if we share a living space with her?" she asked.

"I don't think we'll have a problem moderating our relationship to hugs and kisses," I stated. "But if we're together on a daily basis, it will be much more difficult," I shared.

"I could be helpful," suggested Britt.

"How?"

"I could talk to her."

"Then she'll know I told you and I'm sure that would embarrass her and cause problems with my relationship with her," I worried. "I'd not like that to happen and have it between us."

"I understand," agreed Britt. "I think I can get her to tell me herself and work with her on a joint solution."

"That might work," I granted.

"Okay. That's settled. Anything else?" asked Britt.

"I think the situation with my mother can be handled more easily," I said.

"Jesus, James," exclaimed Britt. "Your mother too?"

"I can handle her by myself," I said and I started to explain how that happened.

Britt interrupted me. "I don't need to know the details," she said. "You handle it and get a backbone instead of a hard on," she insisted. "And, to level the playing field, I haven't exactly been an angel while on vacation."

"Britt," I said. "I don't need to know. I have an idea."

"I'm listening," said Britt.

"Imagine a huge white board in front of us. We can both fill it with scribbling about the things we've done since graduation, none of which do anything to strengthen our relationship with each other. Now imagine we have identical erasers and we wipe the board clean and leave it for future scribbling."

"I won't have anything to write," said Britt.

"Neither will I," I agreed.

By that time it was late. The sun had set hours ago and we were hungry. We went to an all night diner and had a slow meal with additional conversation and settled most of the open issues.

Back in the car, Britt looked at her watch. "Not that that's settled, where should we go? It's late and we can't spend the rest of the night in the car."

"I think I have to go home and have a talk with my family about us," I suggested.

"It's the middle of the night. They'll be asleep," cautioned Britt.

"I think we should go anyway. At least we'll be warm and we can talk to them in the morning," I said.

I drove us to my parent's home and parked at the curb. "Let's go," I suggested.

"Inside?" asked Britt. "Do you think that's a good idea?"

"Not really," I agreed, "but it's better than trying to sleep in the car.

"Where would we sleep?" asked Britt.

"A good question," I confirmed. "I don't want to sneak you into my bedroom. That would be a larger problem than we have already. We can sleep in the living room. The furniture is reasonably comfortable."

We went inside and curled up together in my dad's favorite recliner. Britt sat on my lap and holding her in my arms as we dozed off was among the best feelings I could remember.

I was half asleep, Britt breathing deeply on my shoulder, when Jessie took her nightly walk to satisfy her hunger. I had forgotten about her nocturnal eating and my body tensed for a moment. Britt stirred in my lap. "Oh," she squealed.

Jessie stopped suddenly and looked in our direction. "Is that you, James?" she asked.

"It is," I said softly.

"I heard another voice," said Jessie. "Are you alone?"

"Britt is with me," I acknowledged. "She's asleep. Are you naked?"

"I am," revealed Jessie.

"I'm not asleep," interjected Britt.

"Shit," said Jessie.

"It's okay," soothed Britt. "I've seen naked women before."

"That's not it," said Jessie.

"If you're worried about James," offered Britt. "I'll cover his eyes."

"That's not it either," admitted Jessie.

"Oh," responded Britt. "He's seen you naked?"

"He's my brother," stated Jessie as if that explained everything.

"That's cool," said Britt. "Come join us. We can talk. It's been an exciting day."

"Be right there," answered Jessie. She went into the kitchen and got something from the refrigerator. Then she walked into the living room, munching on a donut. "Where should I sit?"

"Anywhere we can talk without problems," suggested Britt. "No clothing?"

"What's the point?" asked Jessie. She sat on the sofa next to the recliner and continued eating the donut. "Tell me about your exciting day."

Over the next hour, Britt and I filled Jessie in, starting with our plan to get married and ending with the potential living arrangements when school started. Jessie listened attentively and gave me a questioning glance when Britt told her about the apartment. Britt noticed but didn't comment.

While Jessie was mulling over what we had told her, mom wandered into the room. She was barefoot and wearing a short cotton robe. "I woke up hearing voices," she said. "What's going on?"

She looked at Jessie. "And why are you naked?" she asked.

"I was hungry," said Jessie.

Mom seemed to accept that as a reasonable response. "Then, do I need the robe?" she asked.

Britt elbowed me. "Mom," I said. "Let's treat this as a come as you are party. Leave the robe on."

Mom sat in the arm chair next to Britt and me. We repeated much of the information we had shared with Jessie.

When we were finished, mom responded, "Sounds like the start of a plan to me. I like it. Now I think we should adjourn until breakfast and we can brief your father. Jessie, you should go back to your room."

"Where should we go?" I asked.

"You two can head for your room," suggested mom.

"Is that a good idea?" I asked. "What about dad?"

"I'll fill him in. By breakfast there won't be a problem."

Jessie left for her room, snaring another donut on the way. Britt and I headed for my room and mom for hers. In the bedroom, Britt began to remove her clothes. Smiling, I looked at her.

"If it's okay for Jessie, then it's okay for me," she said. "Do you have a problem with it?"

I didn't. "Strip and meet me in the bed," she ordered.

I held her in my arms, our bodies pressed together. "Make love to me," she said.

"I hoped you'd ask," I said.

We woke up late Monday morning. Fortunately, I had the day off. Britt got up and started for the bedroom door. "Where are you going?" I asked.

"I have to pee," she answered.

"Without clothing?" I asked.

"What difference does it make?" she commented.

"Dad?" I said briefly. I got up and tossed her a long t-shirt. She put it on. I covered most of her feminine bits if she didn't bend over.

"I guess this will work," she said and opened the door.

"She returned about twenty minutes later. With a smile, I informed her about the doorway in my bedroom that led to the bathroom. She glared at me. "You let me go out into the hall when I could have just walked into the bathroom?"

"Something like that," I laughed. "What's next?" I asked.

"Nobody's moving," she informed me.

"Then come back to bed and we'll move together," I suggested.

Britt shed the t-shirt and came back to bed. Moving with Britt is one of my favorite physical activities. About thirty minutes later, we heard movement in the kitchen and then someone went into the garage and drove away.

Mom knocked on the door ten minutes later. "Come on you two," she called. "Get decent and meet us for breakfast in the kitchen."

Jessie and mom were waiting for Britt and me in the kitchen. My father had already left for work. We had an informal breakfast of coffee, juice, cereal and toast and discussed the future. Midway through the meal, Britt's phone rang. It was her mother. She held her phone so we could hear both sides of the conversation.

"You didn't come home last night," her mother stated.

"True," responded Brittany.

"Where are you?" her mom asked.

"We're at James' house," Brittany related.

"Oh. Where did you sleep?"

"Sleep?" asked Brittany.

"Oh," repeated her mom. "You're serious about James?"

"I am."

"I understand," conceded her mother. "Just be careful."

"We are," admitted Brittany.

"Your father is still upset but he's coming around. I think that what we discussed last night will be all right. What are your plans?" her mother asked.

"James and I are going to get applications in to State as soon as possible. The best result would be the university would grant admission to both of us this fall. Worse case is we'll attend evening classes while we continue to pursue full time attendance," related Jessie.

"Then you shouldn't wait to find an apartment near the school," her mother suggested.

"For three?" asked Brittany.

"For three is fine," answered her mom. "Meanwhile, what are your living arrangements?"

"I'm hoping I can stay with James' family," said Britt.

"Are they okay with that?" asked her mom.

"We are," Interjected my mother.

"Was that James' mother?" asked Brittany's mom.

"It was," she answered.

"Let me talk to her," said Mrs. Bennett.

Britt handed her phone to my mother. She took the phone and went into the living room to talk.

Jessie smiled. "Looks like we're going to living together for quite a while," she observed. She looked at Britt. "I hope you can adjust to our living arrangements."

"Including your nocturnal eating habits?" asked Britt.

Jessie looked at me as if I'd violated some moral imperative.

"Don't be harsh with James," Britt insisted. "I know last night wasn't a coincidence."

Jessie looked at me again. "How much did you tell her?" she asked.

I looked down, unable to meet her stare. "That much?" asked Jessie.

"That much," repeated Britt. "But don't worry. I'm cool. I understand. I know the special relationship that can exist between siblings and I'm okay with it. Actually, I encourage it."

Both Jessie and I looked at Britt. Neither of us could believe what Britt had just said and I guess it showed on our faces.

Britt laughed. "Your expressions are incredible. I wish I had a camera."

"Damn," said Jessie. "Where do we go from here?"

"To James' bedroom," suggested Britt.

"The three of us?" asked Jessie.

"Just you and me," said Britt. "We need to work out the details of how we'll spend the time together."

I refilled my coffee mug and sat alone at the table with toast and strawberry jam. Mom returned from the living room with Britt's phone in her hand. "Mrs. Bennett is a remarkable woman," she opined. "We're going to lunch to work out how we can all help the three of you for the next few years."

She looked around the kitchen. "Where are Jessie and Britt?" she asked.

"In my bedroom to work on their relationship," I told her.

Mom thought for a moment. "Oh," she exclaimed. "Where does that leave us?"

"In the kitchen," is suggested snidely.

"That's not what I meant and you know it," chided mom.

"I think things will continue in the same way they have in the past," I suggested.

"You mean ..."

"I do," I clarified.

"And Britt?" asked mom.

"Based on what she told Jessie and me while you were on the phone, I don't think she'll have a problem," I said.

"How long do you think Jessie and Britt will be?" asked mom.

"I have no idea," I replied. "You know how these things are. Sometimes it takes quite a while to cover everything."

"Then we have time?" asked mom.

"Looks that way," I agreed.

Mom took my hand and led me to her bedroom.

Later, Britt and I were relaxing in my bed. Mom had gone to lunch with Britt's mom and Jessie had run out to attend to some errands. "Britt," I said. "Help me out. I don't understand how things have evolved."

"I can see that. A month ago, I wouldn't have believed it myself. I did tell you that I wasn't an angel myself while we were apart."

"I get that," I said. "But girls?"

"That too," said Britt softly.

That raised a dozen questions that I wouldn't ask and didn't really want answers to.