Smoking Paradise Island

"Looking back on it now" Ryan said musing "Graham was rather suspicious of us, wasn't he, he really didn't like having new blood nosing about on his patch, retirement didn't come easily, it might also have been because we were so young! It had been his turf and this young blood was imposing. There we were walking around in our uniforms, following the smell of every single cannabis laced cigarette and questioning everyone. We thought that they had done a really bad job of policing the place."

Alice piped up "We were riding a wave of 'wow this is the best job ever, everyone is so darn naughty here' until one day the committee suggested we came up here to have a quiet chat with them in the meeting room along with Graham and Margarete."

"Word had got around you were upsetting people." Tanya interjected and casually flicked her cigarette.

"It was hilarious, we were walking around all dressed up coughing our guts up in this cigarette enthused world, whilst everyone else was chainsmoking whilst being practically stark bollock naked!" Ryan laughed.

"The long and the short of it we were basically told to light a cigarette; open a beer and chill the fuck out!" Alice stated bluntly and took a slug of her beer and then inhaled on her cigarette.

"The committee told us that they knew exactly what was happening on the island, and that we really didn't have to worry, and for the last 20 years or so, no one had been in trouble with Graham and Margarete and if there was any danger the council and committee would sort it out and..."he paused and inhaled on his cigarette "...to be honest we drank so much wine and beer that night, and obviously had a couple of cigarettes, I can't really remember the end of it, other than in the morning we were back undressed in own bed, and we had a new found a love for cigarettes, that I, or" he looked at Alice "we hadn't appreciated beforehand!"

"Hang on...How....why....what you didn't smoke before you came out here?" Carrie-Ann enquired and then dragged on her cigarette but left her mouth wide open in almost shock as the smoke drifted back out.

Ryan looked at Alice for confirmation and shrugged his shoulders and a wry smile creeped across both their faces "We may have lied a little on the application form to come out to the island, the idea of coming out to be the actual police force on a tropical remote island sounded great for the CV. Plus you may have seen that telly show 'Death in Paradise' well...we thought we could do that!" he smiled "didn't we Alice?" he then paused and dragged on his cigarette exhaling a short cone out the side of his mouth, "however all I can say is the next morning we woke up with one of the biggest fuck off huge hangovers the both of us sat there in bed and agreed that we both really needed a cigarette. Luckily for that situation the cabin had some in stock, all I can say and felt so much better after lighting one, and we definitively haven't looked back since." He smiled again at Alice for confirmation.

"We also made the decision that maybe we didn't need to get as dressed up to patrol the island, wearing our thick police shirts in this heat was so unpleasant and sticky. However even today we try to maintain some form of professionalism and modesty with our shorts." Ryan said.

Alice chain lit her cigarette as Ryan was talking and then exhaled "I am not sure what happened that night, I know we are both trained detectives, but after much head scratching all we can think the reason for our change of heart and desire to smoke was the consequence of spending what I think was an enjoyable night in an extremely smoky room whilst drinking with this lot?" she said pointing at the others milling around the barbeque "I don't know!" she shrugged his shoulders, flicked her cigarette in to the ashtray and then took another long draw.

Tanya nodded on confirming their thoughts "But you have had a good three years here, haven't you?" Tanya asked for confirmation.

"Oh god yeah" Ryan interjected "It's been a blast!" and he finished her beer with a gulp, placing the bottle back on the table.

"That's the most important thing on this island." Tanya stated "That everyone has fun and really genuinely does get the full smoking pleasure for themselves" she said smiling as she extracted a cigarette from one of the three open packs on the table in front of them and chain lit the cigarette, stubbing her last one out as she exhaled.

"I can only really speak for myself, but these last four days have been great fun! Cheers to next few being equally as exciting!" Carrie-Ann offered up her wine glass they all touched and clinked their glasses.

Alice offered up her empty bottle before suggesting that she was going to get another drink for her and Ryan, if anyone wanted one, as she would get them after she had gone into the garden and watered the daisies.

Carrie-Ann giggled at Alice, looked at her and Mikes empty glasses in front of them offered to come too, but might use the real toilet inside instead.

"Nah, come with me!" Alice grinned and dragged Carrie-Ann along with her.

Chapter 7 Thursday

Rat tat-tat the door rattled.

"Good morning? Hello? Anyone awake?"

"Oh, good morning, Tanya, how are you so awake" he yawned and stretched "you didn't drop us back until the early hours?" Mike again yawned r and then wiped his eyes of sleep as he slowly walked out of the bathroom. Before looking at Tanya and tucking his penis back inside his black boxers.

"Oh, practice, and my lungs wake me up regular as clockwork, far too early, even I'm still drunk or got a hangover, or both!" she grinned, licked her lips, smiled and inhaled on her cigarette.

"How can we help you?" he again yawned stretching his arms in a wide Y almost hitting the ceiling. "Carrie-Ann is still a sleep!"

"I was just popping around to bring you some chocolate for breakfast" she stated holding up a paper bag, "you know seeing as you paid for inclusive food, but mainly I was coming to see if you are both coming to best known hangover cure on the island of group skinny dip at the waterfall this morning?"

Mike wiped his eyes of sleep "Oh, thank you, lovely," he yawned again "and yes we were thinking about that, what time and where, do we need to bring anything?"

"It's all okay, you will need good shoes and a towel, I will come back in an hour or so and pick you both up I will bring the cigarettes and water. That is if you are both interested?" Tanya asked as she walked over to the kitchen table and picked up the pack and lighter and lit the cigarette.

"I am sure we can!" Mike replied as a barrage of coughs reverberated from the bedroom. "I better take this pack to Carrie-Ann, yes we can see you at ten thirty?" he smiled as Tanya dragged hard on her cigarette.

"Excellent," she exhaled "I will see you later, you better look after Caz this morning, seeing as she enjoyed a drink or two with Alice last night!" and the skinny tanned Tanya winked, pulled the hem of her shorts up to flash her bottom, then turned flicked the ash on the floor and headed out the open door.

"I am on my way Caz!" Mike called out and headed back into the bedroom carrying the pack of cigarettes.

***

"I needed this second coffee this morning, thanks Mike!" Carrie-Ann groaned and sipped her coffee and then dragged on the fourth morning cigarette. "So, are we actually are doing this swimming thing? If so, I guess I don't need a shower?" she mused and ran her hands through her long blonde hair and then sniffed her bangs, "my hair is greasy as fuck!" and then dragged again her cigarette. "I can't believe I sat there pissing in the middle of the garden with the police officer?" She screwed her face up.

"No one cared babes. By the fourth time, you looked sexy as fuck doing it, and she certainly didn't care what everyone thought, I am sure!"

Carrie-Ann shook her head and rubbed her eyes, "I know I like the flash, but I'm not a water fountain!" she sighed "Do we need to do anything for this morning?" she further groaned holding her head.

"Err, all we need is towels and shoes! Tanya said she would look after us!" Mike smiled trying to coerce a smile from Carrie-Ann.

Carrie-Ann raised her head and then laboured up her eyebrows "I am sure she would look after you!" and grinned before gulping her coffee, flicking her ash and then dragging hard on the cigarette.

Mike pulled a face, and then finished off his coffee. As the door opened to Tanya knocking as she entered. "Speak of the devil, and all that!" he laughed as Tanya looked confused. "Don't worry, we were just saying you were about to appear, and you did!" he laughed.

Tanya smiled, "Well that's a relief, are you two both ready?" she asked as she joined them at the table and uninvited sat down crossed her legs, extracted a cigarette and borrowed the lighter and with two quick drags got the cigarette alight, the smoke pouring out of her nose before removing it from her mouth. "I will take you down in the buggy and we can see how many others join us." She said with her exhale and then flicked the ash in the direction of the ashtray.

"I need to visit the bathroom in PRIVATE before we go anywhere!" Carrie-Ann demanded before exacting a cigarette from the pack, and chain lighting it by using the butt of her last one, dragging hard on her fresh cigarette and as she exhaled she stubbed the old one in the ashtray with in amongst several of yesterdays and this morning's cigarette butts before gently coughing to clear her throat as she pushed the chair back, and slowly with a cigarette clamped between her lips she got out of the chair.

"That's cool; I was a little early anyway." Tanya cheerily smiled as she watched Carrie-Ann gingerly walk into the bathroom and then dragged on her cigarette.

"Do you want a coffee?" Mike asked after the bathroom fan whirred and door was slammed shut.

"Sounds wonderful, I hope Caz remembers the show she and Alice put on last night?"

Mike nodded, smiled and turned the coffee machine back on. "Yeah, she does, she a natural exhibitionist, don't worry, she enjoyed it!"

***

The six ramblers followed Tanya slowly up the gentle incline following the clear water river splashing playfully over the rocks beside them.

Before setting off, except for Mike, they had all partaken in the pre-hike cigarette, which was dutifully dropped to the ground and stubbed out under their walking shoes, before Tanya suggested that they all lit their setting off cigarette and with the smoke cloud above their heads drifting off in the breeze they set off with some carrying their rucksacks over their shoulders following the stream as they went.

After twenty minutes and another cigarette break later they arrived at a small sandy beach next to the large plunge pool under a thundering waterfall.

"Wow, Darling this is beautiful, it's a pity we are not allowed our phones or cameras with us to take pictures of it!" Carrie-Ann almost shouted over the roar as she stood there taking in the scene with her cigarette in hand watching the water crash into the pool. She looked around then dragged hard on the last few millimetres above the filter and then dropped it in to sand only to discover previous butts alongside it. Carrie-Ann looked around as the others migrated towards the water "Are you going to join me?" she asked as the remnants of the exhale drifted out her mouth as she pulled her skirt down and stepped out of it.

***

Carrie-Ann panted "Wow that was bliss!" and ran her hands though her hair, before shaking the water from her fingertips as they both walked the short distance back up the beach. The water was dripping off her. "The water is so warm in the pool, it was lovely!"

"That was genuinely worth the cost of the holiday alone, to come and do that!" Mike agreed with her, as he bent down and opened her pack and offered Carrie-Ann a cigarette and then he flicked the lighter and she hungrily inhaled on the lit cigarette, as he opened the rucksack and got the towels out.

Carrie-Ann nodded as she inhaled again "The waterfall is so powerful, it's amazing, you don't realise the water is so deep! I think skinny dipping with you darling makes it even more special. I used to love swimming." She mused.

"Oh, that's kind of you darling, maybe we could borrow the buggy tomorrow and come up here together alone?" he winked.

"That would be lovely, unless they have other plans for us!" she smiled lovingly at Mike, and then dragged on her cigarette. "They always seem to have plans!" she sighed and settled down on the towel on the beach.

Within a few minutes a bag of sandwiches was passed around, along with a plastic cup. Then Tanya walked around the group pouring them all a glass of wine.

"Hope you are enjoying our day trip?" she asked as she filled up Carrie-Ann's plastic cup.

"Absolutely!" Carrie-Ann replied holding her cup up to the bottle whilst trying to not stare at Tanya's glistening naked body above her.

"Great, just to let you know what normally happens about now we have a couple of glasses of wine each and of course some ciggies, that goes without saying and then go for another swim before heading home. You guys are, of course, free to do whatever you wish."

"Think Mike and I" and she looked at him and smiled "are happy with that plan!" she grinned and inhaled on the cigarette. Tanya grinned at toothy grin and headed on to the next couple with the bottle.

The day progressed with cigarettes and another swim, before the group got loosely changed and then slowly made their way back to the buggies.

Tanya checked that they were okay to go up to the pub in the evening and that they could borrow the buggy in the morning as she dropped them off.

***

Carrie-Ann looked up at him with a pained expression on her face as she exhaled "Mike, I am conflicted. I love it here, but I get this feeling that I am continuously under pressure to be doing something, which is making me do only one thing...which is smoke more!" she almost growled as she pulled a cigarette out the pack on the table and chain lit it, with three deep drags stubbing the previous one out as she exhaled.

"You are still enjoying the smoking?" Mike asked slightly worried as he watched Carrie-Ann drag hard on the cigarette and then gently exhale her smoke.

"Of course, I am, I love it, don't be silly!" Carrie-Ann smiled, and then dragged again on her freshly lit cigarette. "I really do look forward to every single one!" she said with her exhale as she twisted in front of the bedroom mirror and watched the skirt move backwards and forwards slightly after her. "Plus, here, there is a rather nice small bonus, that they don't ever seem to end!" she grinned at her husband and then dragged on her cigarette.

"Shall we head up to the pub have a drink and get some grub?" Mike asked as Carrie smiled sweetly at her husband.

"Why do you want to watch the girls play pool?"

Chapter 8 Friday

"Morning you two!" Tanya called out breezily as she opened the front door to the empty kitchen and living room.

"Fuck, what time is it?" Mike called out from the darkened bedroom, as Carrie-Ann started coughing.

"9 am!" Tanya grinned and paused as she leaned against the kitchen chair and inhaled on her cigarette.

"Sorry, we had fun up at the pub with Kate and co last night!" Mike said as he hopped out of the bedroom pulling up his shorts as behind him Carrie's flame to her cigarette briefly lit up the dull bedroom as she desperately tried to calm her morning lungs down as Mike walked into the kitchen doing his fly up. Carrie-Ann then shuffled into the bathroom dragging hard on her cigarette as she went leaving the door wide open.

"It's okay, I had a quiet night in with my mom with a more than one of bottle of wine. Not sure when we finished! Or if we actually did!" she giggled, winked suggesting that she was as equally still drunk. "If one of you can drop me back at the house, you and Caz can have the buggy for the day; it is fully charged so I can almost promise you won't run out?"

"Hmm, I guess we will have to believe you!" Mike grinned as put three mugs on the kitchen counter.

"Morning" Carrie-Ann croaked and moaned as she walked out of the bathroom looking extremely dishevelled wearing Mikes checked shirt from yesterday, it only loosely buttoned up, her blonde pubes were on full display, and she seemed not to care as she sat down at the kitchen table crossed her legs over and leaned against her hand as she inhaled again on the cigarette. "Fuck!" she said exhaling.

Tanya laughed, "So you had a good night then?"

"Doing shots with Kate, John and Jessica was a very bad idea!" Carrie moaned again as Mike hurriedly got the kettle on.

"Ah, yes, Kate has a habit of organising that sort of thing." Tanya grinned. "But I hope you were having fun at the time?"

"I have a very hazy reminiscence that I was lying flat on my back on the floor drinking straight from the Malibu bottle from under neath Jessica who had wedged a bottle of Malibu between her breasts!" Carrie-Ann giggled at the thought, and then groaned and held her head again. "We can strike Malibu from the drinks I am ever drinking neat again." She wiped her face of the sticky remains of the drink.

"Her breasts are amazing and huge, aren't they?" Mike nodded along and Carrie-Ann thumped him on the shoulder.

Tanya just had to laugh "She does put my ironing board chest to shame! Anyway, is there any chance of one of you dropping me back? I've got you some breakfast and lunch for your day trip."

"Oh, thank you Tanya for the food, let me get my wife a coffee," he looked at Carrie-Ann with her head back in her hands moaning on the table "and I will get you home." Mike said sounding authoritarian.

"Great, it should be another sunny day; you can both have a quiet time, enjoy the waterfall on your own or go to the beach, either or should help the hangover!" Tanya smiled kindly.

Carrie-Ann raised her head a little "As long as I don't drink alcohol again today or thinking about it ever again, I will be fine!" Carrie-Ann groaned, and she placed her forehead directly on the table, before raising it briefly to inhale on her cigarette and then exhaled and groaned before she placed her forehead gently back on the table and her untied unruly bed head blonde hair tumbled down covering her face.

***

"Thanks again for letting us borrow the buggy, think Carrie just wants some alone time today." Mike stated as Tanya drove the buggy along the road back towards her house.

She flicked her cigarette out the side of the buggy "It is okay, it's good to get out and explore this island, it really is important that you do. Even though it is small there is always somewhere new to find." She stated and then inhaled on the cigarette. She then waved at an elderly couple who she stated were Gerald and Josephine who were both sitting on a bench sunning themselves outside their cabin with a collection of canisters and oxygen masks with their cigarettes burning in their fingers. Mike raised an eyebrow in concern and Tanya shrugged her shoulders as if to say it happens here eventually and they carried on driving along the road.

As road carried on following the coast, they left the houses and reached the remoter parts of the island, Tanya pulled over into a passing place and stopped the buggy.

"Oh, is everything okay, is it broken or is this a scheduled toilet stop?" Mike said concerned as the buggy stopped in the dry mud.

Tanya smiled "Everything is absolutely fine, and I don't need to piss, just yet" she stated as she shook her lighter and got a cigarette alight, exhaling through her nose and then offered Mike the pack. "Go on Mike, we all know you want to." She said holding the pack under his nose.

"Tanya, no" he said looking deep into her brown hungover eyes "I don't!" he said overly defensively.