So Close to Oblivion

I knew I would be a prime suspect. I didn't wish to involve anyone else so I'd have no alibi.

For the next ten evenings, I went running the trail. I ensured my times were always so close to the time it would take me to deal with Bill.

Meantime Diana and I were not getting on well. It wasn't helped when we had to visit her parents for Sunday lunch the following week. Her parents Don and Louise saw we were not good. Louise asked, "What's wrong between the two of you? I never expected to see anything like this."

Diana tried to shrug it off. I didn't, "Her boss Brian has persuaded her that I've been fucking around on her. My boss Bill is in on it to. It's to make her pliable so they can whore her out to some pieces of shit at the business top table.

"I can't get her to believe me. She's bugged my phone, computer, car. Nothing I say makes a difference. I don't even know if we can recover from where we are. Our dreams for our future, our family are all in tatters."

Diana lost it, "You've been fucking around on me when you've been away with Bill. He told Brian as he didn't want me to find out he'd covered for you. They're my friends."

Louise spoke sharply, "Diana, Tom would never cheat on you. You know it. He says you've been played. You'll throw away your marriage because two arseholes tell you something that's not true."

Diana screamed, "I saw the emails from his work computer."

I shouted, "A computer fixed though I never reported a fault. Programmes were added, never used by our firm. HR are looking into it. They've set us up. You have more faith in them than me. Maybe we are too broken to continue."

I stormed out. I walked home fuming. I stopped in the park, sat on a bench and looked over what my life had become. I came to two conclusions. One at odds with the other but it was something I had to do for my own peace of mind.

Once home I went for my evening run. Diana wasn't home and to be honest, I no longer cared.

On the Monday, I received a call from Sheila asking me to go into the office. I went along at the time requested. There were three people present for the firm. Sheila, Gordon and James. Gordon was a senior manager, a couple of levels above Bill. James was the staff representative.

Gordon spoke, "Sheila has spoken with me regarding your disclosure. We have been looking for supporting evidence. Can you explain fully what has transpired?"

I sat for around fifteen minutes as I explained the offer, our surprise that both bosses had asked us at the same time. I revealed my observations which is why I started to be concerned. By the third dance, in hindsight, I saw Diana had been withdrawing from me. I took to concealing my phone as I used it to record what I was observing. I finished with Diana saying she'd seen my work emails showing I was cheating, something I would never do.

To conclude, I passed an SD card which contained all the videos I had taken. They showed I wasn't lying. Gordon gasped as he heard the big arseholes' wife expose their plot. He saw Bill's reaction to my staring daggers at the big arsehole!

James spoke, "It beggars belief a manager would abuse his position like this. How could he get emails onto your computer?"

Sheila said, "Our IT staff say they have never touched Tom's computer for months."

I smiled, "Bill must have arranged to have one of Brian's techs do it. It's his field. Is there anyone on the visitor list for that day?"

As we viewed the list there was one name which stood out. "That fucking bastard! He's always tried to get into Diana's knickers. He didn't like me almost breaking his arm to get him off her. He's here to see Bill. What a fucking coincidence!"

Gordon and James looked at it. So blatant, even used the company name. I asked Sheila for a copy so I could try and show Diana how we were being set up.

Sheila asked, "How are you both doing? It doesn't seem good."

I added very sadly, "I can't see us surviving. She won't speak to me. She believes Bill and Brian. They want to make her their whore."

Gordon said, "I'll be speaking with our legal advisors later today. I'll look to deal with Bill very quickly. We cannot allow this to continue."

We parted with handshakes all round.

When Diana came in from her work, I stopped her heading to her room. She wasn't pleased.

I spoke firmly, trying to keep my emotions out of it, "Diana my firm have found another piece of the jigsaw."

She laughed, "Are they covering up for you as well?"

My anger was rising, "Diana sit and listen. We've both been played for suckers. If you still think I've been fucking around on you, I've printed off the divorce forms and we can finish this once and for all.

She reluctantly sat down.

I went through everything. The only time when I presume Bill said I was fucking around, would have been a week's business away along with others. I'd been sharing a room with John. Lunches and evenings were with colleagues and the other staff members. At no time was I out alone with another female.

I saw nothing in her saying she was believing me. I finished with the latest development, "Brian set you up to be a whore. Once arsehole fucks you, Brian and Bill will want their turn. Those emails you found on my work computer. The IT guy who put them there is your friend, the one I had to almost break his arm to stop him molesting you at your company's dance. Steve Beard. He's so confident, he even signed in to visit Bill under his own name and your company. This is the visitor sheet with his photo ID.

"It's your choice. Believe me. I'll even take a lie detector test. I bet Brian, Bill or Steve won't. Don't believe me, sign the divorce papers." I threw them at her.

I changed for my run. She never spoke as I went out. One thing about the runs was I never knew if my accelerated heartbeat was the result of the effort of running or sheer rage at Diana.

I reviewed my plan for Bill. I couldn't touch him whilst everything was ongoing at work. Now I had to work out what to do to Brian and Steve. I had a sort of plan for Mr Big Arsehole.

I returned and Diana was in her room. I showered and checked the divorce papers. She hadn't signed them. I left them there.

I watched some mind dumbing tv as I wasn't going to use any electronics which may be compromised. I thought of speaking with her mum but Diana needed to make the decision for herself.

On Wednesday afternoon, Diana was surprised to see me as she came home at lunchtime. Brian had given her time off to go to the spa with those two shrews. She was mad when she left as I said firmly, "You've decided to fuck that arsehole. You should have signed the divorce forms. Now I'll add his name."

Her eyes showed her fury as she stormed out.

I had made it my purpose to find out where she'd be taken. I found out accidentally the previous week as I had a coffee in a local café. I saw one of the shrews entering an expensive spa. It was close to the posh hotel. It made sense. Some questions in my mind were being asked and I didn't like the answers.

I dressed in non-descript clothing including a hoody so I could hide myself. I sat in the café for three hours. Their coffee and scones are great. Six coffees and three scones are a bit much but I did enjoy them. I saw Diana and the two shrews come out. I almost didn't recognise Diana. They were walking slowly towards the hotel. Diana didn't look drunk but she had some trouble coordinating her steps. I wondered as to why as an answer came to me.

I rushed out, down the other side of the buildings and managed to get into the hotel before them. To my surprise Diana came in on the arm of arsehole or to give him his true name, Edward Montague. Diana's eyes weren't focussed. She seemed so pliable.

As they walked past where I was hiding, I stepped out and decked the bastard. Someone screamed. I heard people running towards us. Two security guys came up saying, "The Police have been called."

I laughed as I shouted, "Good! He's drugged my wife so he can fuck her. Make sure the Sexual Offences team come as well!"

The commotion that caused was awesome to watch. The bar almost emptied with those wanting to see what was happening. With it being a highly posh hotel, the one where the dances were held, the Police came quickly. I was detained and handcuffed.

I made sure they knew the reason. "If you leave her with him and don't investigate this properly, I'll make sure all the papers know."

As I was about to be led away, some plainclothes officers came in. The uniform cops spoke with them. A female came up to me and asked, "Why do you suspect this?"

I told her my suspicions and what had been happening. I pointed with my head at the two shrews who were standing gawping, aghast at what had happened. "They're the two who took her to the spa and probably gave her the drugs. He was about to rape her and make her one of the group's whores."

Another plainclothes officer came up to the one with me, "She looks drugged. We'll take her to be examined." The one I had been speaking with said, "Detain those two females as they are linked to this."

I said before I was led away, "I'll give you her mum Louise's number so she can help her."

I was locked in a cell for a couple of hours at least. My hand really throbbed. In a weird way I was happy. If my hand was so sore, how would his jaw be? The bruising was coming out and moving the fingers was difficult.

The female detective and her partner took me into an interview room. I was advised of my rights. She asked me to explain everything. I did. I said I had a number of videos which would substantiate what I was saying. These were on an SD card which would be amongst my property. The interview was adjourned while they arranged to view those. At least they gave me a cup of coffee. I would suggest they get it from that café in the future.

Once the interview was recommenced she asked questions to determine those involved. The videos were played on a laptop. I told them the names of people I though had been targeted. They saw that at the next dance the couples interacted so differently. They were more interested of the videos of the two shrews picking on the women. I explained the roles of Bill, Brian, Steve and the two shrews.

At the end, she charged me with assault. I'd be reported to the Procurator Fiscal with an emphasis on the why. They were awaiting the results of the tests on Diana.

As she saw me out of the station, she said, "You made a big impression on his wife!" She was smiling. Okay she'd seen how I'd risen as she rubbed her silk dress across me.

I'd been home for a couple of hours when Diana's dad Don called. He explained, "I called the station but they said you'd been released. Her mum's with Diana. The Police are sure she was drugged. She's still not right so the hospital staff are keeping an eye on her. If she gets out her mum thinks she should come home with us. Can I come and collect some things for her?"

I agreed. When he arrived, I had her small case packed with enough to last three or four days.

He saw the divorce papers on the table. He sighed, "It's come to that. Even with what she's done, you still cared enough to protect her. What do we need to know?"

I explained everything, the roles of our bosses and her colleague. He was mad, "I hope it all comes out and those bastards get their just rewards. Hope there's no lube in prison for them."

The next day, Sheila called. The Police had come to the office and detained Bill. I updated her. She'd let Gordon know. She was concerns about me though. She recommended a counsellor the firm used to help me find some balance between the rage and the void within me.

Louise called later. Diana had been released this morning. The Police will be interviewing her later. She was worried about her especially as we were looking at a divorce. She hoped we could be reconciled but accepted Diana had shown no faith in me which would make it very difficult.

There was a small news item of an unnamed but well-known businessman appearing in the Sheriff's chambers. There was no plea or declaration and he was released on bail.

I went to visit my parents Ian and Heather. They were surprised Diana wasn't with me. I had to tell them everything as it would seem there would be a court case. How many it would involve I didn't know as I hadn't been updated by the Police. But as I was an accused, I didn't expect to be. As I expected my parents were firmly on my side but advised taking my time before filing for divorce. Use the counsellor to see if that was what I truly wanted. Diana would need help as well.

As I left, dad hugged me as he said quietly, "Be very careful, don't get caught!" I smiled as I walked away, he knew me too well.

Sheila called me on the Friday following Bill's detention. He'd been released on bail after being charged with a number of offences. He'd been fired. They had no knowledge of what the charges entailed at the moment. He wouldn't divulge that.

Gordon wished to speak to me about coming back to work on that project. I wasn't sure. Sheila persuaded me to at least meet with him. I did which resulted in me going back to work as it kept my mind off other matters. Sheila made sure I attended the counsellor, Stella. It did help marginally.

My plan for Bill was fully in place. I had to work on plans for Brian and Steve.

I was still running, setting a constant time. It was time. The trail was being less used as autumn moved towards winter. Bill had told everyone that for his mental health he liked to keep to a routine which included leaving his house at 7.30pm three nights per week and having a five-mile walk. I was glad he kept it up. He didn't like our meeting. I left him in the recovery position as I cycled back towards point B. I burned the clothing and mask I had used at the barbeque area. The adrenaline rush meant I was ninety-seconds early so I had time to wait. Almost on que, I appeared running at point B.

Over the next two days, I retrieved my bicycle, power washed it and rode a muddy trail before power washing it again. I stored it in our basement storage area alongside Diana's bike.

The Police called at my flat and informed me they were investigating a serious assault on Bill. I let them in. I denied any knowledge but when they said I had a motive, I accepted that. Where was I at the time roughly 7.45pm on the Wednesday evening. I explained running the trail. I saw no one and had no one with me. They observed my damaged right hand. I explained I caused that when I flattened Edward Montague for which I'd been charged. It had been aggravated by its use on Bill's body but I wasn't going to say that.

They came back a few days later asking about whether I had a bike. I said I had. I took them to the storage area and showed them. Both my bike and Diana's were in pristine condition. I explained, "We tended to ride the trails here and often went up to Aviemore in the summer. This year due to all which has gone on we haven't been out together since the early part of the year. I don't think she's been out since. I haven't. I clean and lubricate the bicycles before I put them away."

The cop asked where was the last place I had ridden the bike. I laughed, "Diana and I rode the Aberfeldy trail. It's muddy and has a few difficult climbs. I let Diana lead. Watching her bum as she pedals hard is intoxicating. I did suggest at the top we could get really dirty but was called a pervert. This would have been February, early March, I think." They took samples from the tyres of both bikes.

Okay I lied, I rode it the afternoon after Bill met his unknown assailant. There were no others on the trail as the day was bloody awful, driving rain and cold.

A month after my altercation with Montague arsehole, I received a letter from the Procurator Fiscal. I expected a court date but it was to the effect, due to corroborated evidence pertaining to the reason for the assault, no further action would be taken if I didn't come to their adverse notice within the next year.

When I was interviewed for a serious assault on Brian, I had an alibi. I was away for business. My roommate vouched for me being there all the time. After the Police left, he whispered in my ear, "Your secret's safe with me. He deserves all you gave him. I woke up when you came back in."

He left laughing as though we'd shared a joke!

The counsellor Stella shocked me one day when she said, "You haven't moved on. You avoid the elephant in the room. You need to speak with Diana to establish where you both are. Have those questions hidden within you answered. There has to be some reason neither of you have started the divorce. Are either or both of you holding any hope you can be reconciled. We've reached as far as we can go without any resolution. You'll go no further. This will be your life. Is this what you want?"

She would prefer we spoke with her refereeing us. If Diana contacted her they would have some sessions first before we all spoke. I knew she was making sense but I was conflicted. I'd tell Diana's parents. Diana and I still hadn't talked after she stormed out of the flat to head to the spa.

I called her mum and explained. They had been calling me to update me on Diana. She'd taken a few days for the drugs to leave her system. When I had been at my parents they'd taken most of her stuff. She was quite down and was on antidepressants. She had gone back to work. From them I learned Brian and Steve had been arrested and later sacked. No one knew why.

They were in favour. They lived in fear the divorce papers would arrive. They hoped we could rebuild what we had but knew it was practically impossible.

The catalyst for us actually being in the same room with each other came about three weeks later. Witness citations had come in for many people apparently regarding Montague arsehole and his band of friends. The Police had been very active and resourceful.

In the waiting room, Diana and I looked guardedly at each other. Her mother was with her. She tried to make conversation but everyone was bloody nervous. I was surprised that I felt no emotion. I had thought I could explode upon seeing her.

Once in the room, Stella asked us both to listen. She knew the events had been devastating but both of us needed to have our questions answered. It wouldn't be easy, we may not like the answers but unless we listened, we were stuck.

She began, "Diana, why did you not trust Tom?"

Diana looked only at her. She looked so sad. She spoke softly, sadly, "I knew Tom was telling me the truth but my mind was saying Bill and Brian wouldn't lie about that. It caused so much conflict within me, I behaved abysmally. I made his life hell. He's better off without me." She began crying as she looked at me, "Thank you for stopping the bastards."

Stella turned to me, "Why did you follow her?"

I looked at both of them. I spoke firmly, "I knew we couldn't survive this. I thought we were so broken we couldn't repair it. Despite that, I couldn't stand by and let her be used and abused, to become their whore! I had to stop that if I could."

I had teared up. Okay my tears flowed as well.

Stella went back and forward between the two of us. Why did she know I was telling the truth? Why did I care? Each question opened a new wound. We were both in floods of tears.

If the session was bad, what she said at the end floored me, "Each of you sees only the pain you've caused. In all your answers, you've avoided saying one phrase. It's the one which has held you still. No action to move on. The one you are both scared to admit.

"Today, we uncovered Diana's guilt for not trusting you when she knew she could and should have. You told how that lack of trust was eating you up. Not once did either of you look to help the other. Apart from the tears, it was mainly devoid of emotion. You've both buried your feelings so deep to allow you to function. They need to come out. If the words, feelings hurt, don't run away. Honesty, complete honesty is needed. We'll talk through the meanings later.