So Close to Oblivion

"Both of you had said that you may not know how but you nuanced your words until you found a route to connect and fix any problem. He was beside himself at what he had denied to you.

"He was actually like you described your Tom in our one-on-one sessions.

"The hidden memory made him so intransigent he couldn't find the route to working with you. He's mentioned he still has conflict within himself. It's the memory wanting to stay in him. It will go as he resolves his emotions.

"What were you feelings during that time?"

Diana looked at me, "We spoke about the coincidence of both being asked to these dances. The way it had been presented to me was this was an opportunity to meet the movers and shakers which may help my career in the future.

"After the first dance, when we discussed it, I thought he was being paranoid. I had enjoying meeting new people, the dancing as Tom isn't the most coordinated for some of the more technical ones so meeting others who were was great. I was even able to dress up which was a rare experience. I even wore the lingerie he especially liked to tease him. We had a great end to the evening.

"At the second dance, I saw the unhappy couples Tom had spotted. I mentioned it to Brian as Tom was away. It was a few days later, Brian told me Bill had said Tom was having a fling with someone he met while away. The implication was it wasn't the first time.

"I was devastated. My conscience said he'd never cheat on me. I knew that. Speak with Tom as you know when he's lying. It festered inside me. When he returned, I checked his belongings. There was nothing there to prove it. I couldn't force myself to bring it up. I didn't want to believe he'd do such a thing. What it meant if he said he had. I did begin to withdraw from him. I stopped instigating sex, even reduced what I contributed to it.

"The next dance was coming up and Tom didn't want to go. I thought it was because Bill knew what he'd been up to. Each time the dance came up our views were so different. We argued instead of speaking. Over time the arguments became full scale rows.

"Each dance I had to force him to go. Tom wasn't happy. It was like normal until I found myself being taken to the top table. I was shocked. I realised Tom was right. I was ignored as they talked about me. Brian made sure I couldn't leave. Nothing was said about being a whore, only how I'd grace many meetings. The man's wife came up and her words broke the men up. I was taken back to our table. I saw as we approached Tom was very angry. He really went for Bill with both barrels. Others were watching carefully.

"The row we had in our home was the worse we had ever had. I finally accused him of fucking around. He of me wanting to be a whore. It was a screaming match. My conscience was saying, "Tom's right. They want to make you the next whore." All the battles we'd had in the weeks up to then made compromise an impossibility. The words we used were meant to hurt as neither of us could back down.

"Tom said about his inflexibility making any option other than his unacceptable. I'd tried but when nothing I said met any reasoned response, I became equally hard-headed in our fights.

"I'd like to think if we'd been able to speak as normal we would have resolved this. As Tom said, I'd never wish to be a whore." She smiled, "Well, apart from the time I played an escort in a hotel for him.

"He said he wasn't going to stop it yet he did. When he said why it didn't ring true as he wasn't the Tom I knew. Is it?"

Stella looked at me. I looked at Diana, "I stopped it because I love you. I knew within me you'd never do that willingly. When I saw you coming out of the spa you didn't look in control of yourself. It wasn't the Diana I knew. I had to stop it. It was as I ran to the hotel, it dawned on me, drugs! It was why I made sure the Police treated you as a victim."

Diana screamed, "In all our arguments you never showed any love. The only person who counted was you. With Stella all you did was behave as if I was a whore and your personal punchbag. The walks, the things we did to rediscover us were just a façade. You never changed until now.

"What do you expect from me?"

I looked at her, sadly, "Nothing. I deserve nothing for the way I treated you. I hoped knowing the reason wasn't you may help you. I was at fault. I created the anger in you which allowed the space for them to play you."

Diana was crying. She couldn't look at me.

Stella started directing questions which exposed how I was coping or not with the revelation.

At the end she asked me, "What was the biggest regret you have found in all of this?"

I almost couldn't answer, the tears just came. It took a few minutes before I spoke so quietly, "On Saturday, I'd gone for a walk and ended up in the park near Diana's home. I cried for so long as I saw parents play with their children, my memories of us on that bench. As I walked away I saw the house Diana had pointed out as being great for us and our family on one of our walks. I collapsed as I sobbed my heart out. I'd ruined all our dreams."

Diana was shocked. So was Stella to be fair. I was almost inconsolable as the tears started again. I didn't realise that Diana was holding me for some time. I finally managed to stop the tears.

I tried a laugh, "I didn't know it was a wet T shirt competition."

Diana laughed. It was a joke between us.

Stella saw that but continued to question me about my feelings. Each time I tried to evade her laser strikes, she turned the thumbscrews. Diana watched as all my insecurities were raised. Stella ended her inquisition with a question, "Why were you so disconsolate by seeing the house?"

I looked at Diana before saying softly, sadly, "I saw how my behaviour had broken us apart. For months I've hidden the truth from myself. I love Diana but because of my behaviour I'd driven any love she had for me away. The children we had so wanted would never be. I'd never have Diana beside me again."

I was crying again.

Stella allowed Diana to hold me again. She asked Diana, "Is this a surprise to you? What are your thoughts?"

Diana spoke softly, "After the way Tom behaved in all our other sessions, I never thought I'd hear what he's just said. His raw emotions, the torturing of his feelings and thoughts. He's recognised how destructive he's been. He takes all the blame as he doesn't recognise that my behaviour contributed to our problems.

"Each of us has seen how we acted, reacted, failed to engage with the other. I came to the sessions hoping we could help each other and find a way forward. Tom never accepted his role until now.

"I do still love Tom but is that enough? Will this Tom be open to learning how to make us better?"

Now it was my turn to be surprised.

Stella said quietly, "He'll make quick progress now he knows the real cause. We'll need a few joint sessions but we have covered a lot already. Despite his apparent wall he did listen so he'll be aware and interact positively. I asked him to ask you as I knew he needed to take that first step. I never expected all which has come out today but once the rawness of his emotions, his despair at the hurt he caused you recedes, he'll be the Tom you love again.

"How it ends will be determined by both of you."

We left together. I went to head to our former home but Diana said, "Let's go for a meal and chat. Not about us, the world outside of us."

We did. We spoke about many of the topics of the day. We laughed together at some of the things our friends had gotten up to. We lamented our football team.

After a couple of drinks, I walked her home. We didn't stop in the park. At her door, she turned and gave me a gentle kiss, "Thank you, I've enjoyed our evening. It was more like us, maybe even better."

I walked home feeling better than I had in a long time.

Stella had us meeting three times a week. By the middle of the third week, about the only thing we hadn't done which we'd liked was having sex. She made us admit we both wanted to be intimate but were scared of being rejected.

She touched on our sex life previously. She found while it had been good it could have been better. We'd both failed to fully share our desires as we felt the other would be shocked. Nothing we were talking about, despite our blushing was extreme, most very common. She'd work with us on that as we were both in a place where we saw we could be together.

Both Diana and I looked shocked. Stella smiled, "The last three sessions, you've listened, change the nuance until you found out what the other really meant. Like sex, you're both scared to say what you wish. In many ways, you're scared of hurting the other again. I don't think you will. All your skeletons, hidden fears, even dreams have been exposed. There is nothing you do not know about the other and how it went wrong, other than be clearer in explaining your sexual desires.

"What do you wish?"

I spoke softly, "Diana comes home. The house is still for sale because of the market. Let's look at it for it would be perfect for our children. I love her more now than I ever thought possible."

Diana looked at me before closing the gap and kissing me so passionately.

Stella was smiling.

Diana and I walked to her parents' home slowly as we kept kissing each other. She made us stop on our bench. She whispered, "I have to know." I was confused as she opened her blouse and undid her bra. She smiled, "You have a way of talking to them that makes me cum. Is it still there?"

I did my best. I hoped there wouldn't be many people about as Diana came after five minutes of me working her right breast between my fingers teasing her nipple and kissing her breasts so no part was missed. I felt her left breast needed reassurance as well. It must have been desperate as she came again within three minutes.

It was a very happy Diana who walked with me. As we passed the cul-de-sac, I noted the agent's sign, "I'll call and arrange an appointment to view." I was almost driven over the garden wall as she kissed me.

As we approached her home, I became nervous. She hugged me, "Don't be. I've told them how you are Tom again. They'll be happy for us. I'll pack a small case and come home tonight. My pussy is jealous of my breasts. I'll tire you out."

When we went in, Diana hugged her mum and whispered in her ear. Her mum was smiling. We were speaking when she came down the stairs with her bag. Her dad was smiling as well.

I've never walked so fast in my life. Diana was on a mission. Once inside our flat, I was sent to shower. She joined me. She made sure I was fully clean. One part of my anatomy was deliriously happy and would have shown her if she hadn't stopped when she did.

It was a dominant Diana who threw me on the bed and straddled me. As she put my cock into her pussy she smiled, "I'm going to fuck you senseless. Once you've cum, you can take me whichever way you wish. Don't think about my pleasure. I just want your passion. It was one thing we both said to Stella. We always remained in control. Tonight, is about plain fucking. Loving will come."

She did. Her hips never stopped. She worked her breasts, looking at me, driving me on., telling me what she was feeling. I could feel her clit as it tried to cut my cock open. Her nipples grew and her areolas darkened. I had to respond as I tried to fuck her back. She came first and shoved her breast into my mouth. I erupted into her pussy.

She lay on top of me as we recovered. Her pussy was working my cock who was soon hard again.

I laid her on her back and began fucking her for all I was worth. I'd never been so selfish, looking only for my pleasure. All I could see was her eyes on me, shining with love. As I came, I drove her through the mattress. I was kissing her so hard I'd have bruises later.

We were lying side by side, teasing each other's bodies.

Diana said, "I loved it. I've never seen you just give yourself to your passion. We can repeat it. Stella will help us to overcome our reluctance to only seek our release. I have wanted that before and I think you have. We'll still make love but on occasion, we can just fuck as the mood takes us."

I smiled, "I never did as I always wanted to make sure you had what you needed. I felt if I did, it would show you I didn't care about you. As with you riding me, I saw your eyes show such love. Your passion, your fucking was only about your love for me.

"Stella has shown how we are so aligned but we do need to speak about our desires, fantasies more. We've done a few like the escort. We did enjoy them. We can discover more. No judgement, I'll consider everything you wish to discuss."

Diana smiled, "I'll do the same. There is one thing. Would you consider trimming or removing your pubic hair? The hairs can get stuck when I am playing with him."

I kissed her, "As you wish. What works best for you?"

She smiled, "I'll try you bare first. I'll make an appointment for both of us to be waxed. Something new for our new beginning."

My eyes watered.

We had a cup of tea before heading back to bed. We just held each other as we fell asleep.

The next morning, I wakened as my cock was cumming into her pussy. She was smiling, "I thought you'd sleep through it all. I'm glad you'll have a good memory to go off to work with."

I kissed her, "It's a lovely way to wake up. When you're home later, no knickers. I'm going to eat you to make you suffer like this."

She seemed pleased as she shoved first her left, then right breast into my mouth. We had to shower and get away to work.

I called the estate agent and arranged to view the house at lunchtime. I called Diana and she was happy. We'd meet there.

My friends at work were on to me about why I was so happy. When I told them Diana and I were back together, they were delighted for us. When we met, Diana had had the same from her colleagues.

The house was a disappointment and an opportunity. The upside, large rooms, large plot. The downside; needed a fair amount of modernisation, botched DIY, horrendous decoration. The Home Inspection report gave a few advisories and one major structural problem. The price was within our budget.

The estate agent asked for our views. I was careful, "It has a lot of potential but the need for an RSJ to hold the first floor as they've removed the structural supporting wall to make it open plan. You can see the dip in the ceiling already. We'd need to seek a cost for that and the other repairs listed. I can understand why it's been on the market so long. The cost must be higher than the value or they've been put off by what needs doing.

"Would you be happy to allow a builder to view it to price it for us?"

The estate agent said she would. She understood it needed work. She thought the HITS report was overpriced and a bid five thousand lower may get the property.

We left her and grabbed a quick bite to eat at her mum's. Her dad was there and was laughing.

"Tom, I bet you never said the builder was your dad. I'll do the electrics to keep the costs down. Your dad has the other trades needed. If the wallpaper is as bad as you say, both of you can strip it. You could probably do most of the work yourself after helping out your dad. It will be quicker getting him to do it though."

I smiled, "It looks we could get it for less than the HITS. It will be great for a family when it's done properly. I'll speak with my dad. While the firm's name isn't his surname, his business card is the same as mine. He'll get John to view and measure. His surname won't ring bells."

I called my dad as I made my way to work. He'd arrange John to check it all over. It wasn't three minutes when my mum phoned. She wanted to know why I was looking at a family house. I told her Diana and I were back together. She was very happy, it explained why I had seemed so much more like myself recently.

I received a call later that afternoon from my dad. We'd to go for lunch tomorrow and bring her parents. All would be explained. As he finished he said, "Start packing."

Diana was at home before me. She was naked which stunned me. She laughed, "You wanted access to pussy, so I've showered. It seemed easier to just stay naked. I can dress if you wish."

I shook my head, "No naked is great. I have to update you on the house and you need to call your parents. You can tease me while I do it."

I explained what my father had said. She called her parents. We'd pick them up at 11am.

Now that was over she leaned back on the settee opening her legs further so I could fulfil my promise. Being a gentleman, I started by giving her a passionate kiss before working down her neck to her breasts. I paid them enough attention it caused her to cum. I moved down until I came to her honey pot. Like normal, it was trimmed.

I began by kissing along the labia to the perineum and then I tongued her rosebud. She was rising from the settee. Her hands were caressing her boobs lightly, teasing her nipples. She sighed, "I've so missed you doing this. The sensations are fantastic."

I moved up to her pussy and tongue fucked it before working her clit. Back and forth I went. Each time she was moaning more. As she looked to peak, I moved away and began elsewhere. Four times I managed to get her almost there. She was gasping, moaning, declaring her love for me. I was building her up again. I had a finger in her bum and two in her pussy. She was breathing deeply, moaning when she said firmly, "Stop again and I'll look for a cock cage for you!"

I took the hint as I began bringing her to her peak. She was mauling her breasts, her hips rising two three inches off the settee. My tongue was dancing over her clit between me sucking and blowing on it.

Diana was going, "Fucking hell. It's coming from all over me." I intensified my efforts to be rewarded with her biggest ever orgasm. She was trying to push my head into her pussy as she used my face as a dildo. She stopped as she came, holding my face still. As she sank back down I used my fingers to work her "g" spot. Soon she was bucking again. She came like a supersonic jet. I was surprised my neck never broke.

I tried to lightly kiss and nibble her labia but she pushed me away. It was so sensitive.

She held me to her chest. "Bloody hell Tom, that was awesome. I'm not sure I'm on this planet. If you wash, I'll give you a blowjob. If you just wish to fuck me, I'll lean over the arm so you can do it doggy. Don't try and make me cum, just fuck me, make this pussy yours."

I was soon naked and fucking her like mad. I mauled her tits as I put all my efforts into cumming as soon as possible. Her pussy was always hot but now it was an inferno. I was redlining my watch cardio app. I tried to hold out as the feelings were exquisite but I failed. I collapsed over her as my heartrate became just dangerously fast.

When we parted she hugged me and kissed me lightly, "That was intense. I bought something for our dinner so I'll put it in the oven. We'll have thirty-five minutes to do something else."

Something else turned out to be a titty fuck. All the way through she talked to my cock, telling him he still had to get to eight inches for her bum. Her bum wanted him but he had to show he wanted her. She licked his head even as I was still coated in her juices. I came over her tits like I hadn't cum in years. She headed for a wash. I lay back knackered.

After our dinner we sat and cuddled, talked about our days and the house, especially in more detail. We looked at our savings, mortgage offers and added, subtracted the value in the flat. It was highly desirable, nice area, good condition apart from one room which needed redecorated. We had thought to replace the bathroom and ensuite as they were okay but dated. It would sell quickly. One in the neighbouring block, similar, had sold in eight days. The price would give us potentially £30000 to put towards the new house. Even so the cost of repairs could put it beyond our means.