All Comments on 'Soccer Women Ch. 07'

Not a big surprise pretty much same old run of the mill lesbian stories you see on here all the time. Your bio does not say if you are a woman or a man but it is pretty obvious you are a middle aged or older man. With phrases like don't call us will call you, and hip hip hurray that was in the last chapter was kind of a tip off. This is pretty much the same theme of a lot of lesbian stories on here. A lesbian cannot be in an exclusive relationship they all have to be nasty. In one of the previous chapters Meagan called Carol nasty not in an insulting way just as a fact. I think that is pretty much an apt description of all the characters in this story. As a lesbian who has been in an exclusive relationship for ten years I know that is possible. Maybe you just wrote it for older men who are just on here to get their self off, as I see it now that is about all the story is good for. I have always looked at sex with two people that are in love as something special almost spiritual that is only between the two of you. When you bring in other people it just cheapens the whole thing. I sure in the next chapter or maybe later it will be Carol and Jen bringing in Jessica and Meagan to their bed. Maybe for grand finally you can just have both groups meet at Carol's house and they can all just get in a big pile and go at it. i feel so stupid wasting time on this story, if I wanted this kind of story they are a dime a dozen on here and it does not take them thirty four chapters and counting to tell.

In regard to first comment I am a older man who likes to read stories on here. If I was just looking to get myself off there is always porn for that. That being said I am really disappointed with how the story is turning out, I am afraid you are more than likely right with how the story is going except for them all getting in a pile. I read a story on here once where the author had two different endings and you could choose which one you wanted to read. It would be nice if the author would consider that.

Hey author, I haven been reading your tale since the beginning and was quite enthusiastic about it. This was because Carol was on a path of discovery and I knew from the beginning there was a love interested with Jen, so I wanted to see how this would evolve. The moment you started with the younger girls tale, my interrest was cut by half and trough the following chapters it only diminished further. Actually the last chapters, I skip over most of the things and in a way that's sad giving you are doing your best to write it. What you are trying to do, is actually quite difficult giving you create a love story where the hedonistic lifestyle is part of it and all this over a longer timeline. So hat off for you! To combine random sex with making love to your loved one, some people could do it or live it in reality, but here it feels the story is milked out and it becomes one long tread. I mean we are waiting for more than 6 chapters on a wedding, and yet they only had a party and bought a dress?? Furthermore about the sex part, the same pattern always comes back almost regardless who is having sex with who, and some things are setting me off. Like the STANDARD LOUD YELLING during sex and you mentioned a few times that they need to 'work' or are actually saying thanks by having sex! What's with that? It make's it all so forced, for me sex must be a bit spontaneous, relaxed, fun, emotional, exiting. It's not a task or a play where you need special tactics to bring the other the highest pleasure, it's about connecting with the other. I just wanted to point that out, so you could learn from it. Also looking back on the girls, they didn't change much over the years, (they just do it with more people) and that's weird because going to college, leaving home, etc. that's when the world opens up for them. I know you tried to implement this in your story, but I don't see it, not really. They were in love in the beginning, the are still in love and they will mary and be in love, their personality, feelings or views didn't change much trough the story... What's the story about? With Jen and Carol, I can still see some development, but also there is the threat of milking it out. I'm not sure a long story works here the best, especially for the girls. Maybe short stories about their lives, and intimate encounters would have worked better. Or you need to give us more stuff than only a bit of soccer and random sex to keep us interested. Anyway good luck with the continuation of it.

Spiegelmuis (My account is off for the moment)

The way this chapter played out it looks like maybe they are going to all marry each other, I guess Melanie can be Katie's wife number one and Jo and Margaret can be 1a and 1b. sad too bad this could not just end up a nice love story between two people.

Oh my! I feel bad for you with all the negative energies the first four commentators have heaped on you. I do not share their overall, collective assessment. W/r/t this particular segment, the 4-way configuration came as news to me, so I must have missed it from the "Soccer Girls" series. I appreciated the novelty and the emotional nuance you were able to build in. (For instance, Katie loves Melanie best [#1] but cultivates and nurtures an emotional and physical bond with Margaret [#1a] and Jo [#1b] as well, without rancor, rivalry, or insecurity.) ////

At the same time, as I've mentioned in regard to previous segments, I have rated this one a 5, but only by giving you the benefit of the doubt and rounding upward. The previous four commentators do give some form to my misgivings with the characterization and structure. ////

And at the risk of belaboring a point previously registered, your misuse of "lay" (transitive verb) and its forms (lay/laying/laid/laid), when the sentence calls for "lie" (intransitive verb) and its respective forms (lie/lying/lay/lain) verges on perverse. It spoils my reading experience, like walking through a gorgeous meadow but having to step around the cow pies.

Wow. I scored this as 'average' and didn't bother to leave a comment. I did come this evening to check out the comments. I have to say that they pretty much spoke for me. This series is to the point where I mostly skip the sex (it's in a rut and disconnected from the plot) and just check the plot to see if it's moving the characters forward. Pretty much it just seems played out and going nowhere interesting and at a snails pace.

Too bad Katie and Melanie could not stay in an exclusive relationship and set an example for not only Jo and Margaret but also for their mother's as well. Seems like the whole soccer girl series and soccer women have just been a waste of time.

When a married couple decide to have an open relationship it is usually because they are in a failing marriage. It is a last ditch effort to save the marriage. It has been a while since I read the beginning of the story but it seemed like Carol was unhappy with the sex and the marriage in general for a while and had thought about having sex with the golf pro at the club. She then ended up cheating on her husband with Jen then it went on from there. Maybe the two of them seeing a marriage therapist instead of becoming swingers would have been a better choice, but that would make too much sense. As far as Katie and Melanie is concerned if a couple that young already are so bored with their sex life that have to bring others it is pretty sad. I am not sure why you could not at least leave them alone and let them have a good true love story. I guess you just could not allow at least one lesbian couple to have a loving exclusive relationship. I agree with some of the other comments the soccer girls and soccer women have been a complete waste of time, I have given up on this story for good.

For the previous poster, I am wondering if you have a data to support your assertion in the first sentence. While I don’t doubt that some couples may open up their marriage hoping to solve problems, you assert that is the case in most instances. I am curious what that is based on. The research might help future stories.

In regard to one of the comments not sure if commenter has any data or not since they said they had given up on the story I doubt they will write back. In any of these studies a lot of times they are done with someone who already has an agenda one way or the other. With all the comments I see on here I find it strange that this is the one you are concerned with. It kind of looks like you probably have an agenda when it comes to everyone in the story being in an open relationship and everything being just great. I guess I agree with most the comments on here in that it would have been nice to just let Katie and Melanie have a good loving monogamist relationship.

I will be honest, I skip over the sex and skip to the story. I will continue to read to see where you take it.