Someone Else's Daughter

"Kenji," he reciprocated, shaking her hand.

"You're new here, so Summer's gonna call on you to share. She's a bit too much for my tastes, but she knows what she's doing," Monica shared.

"I don't know if I'm ready for that yet...," Kenji demurred, falling back into his natural reticence.

"Don't worry. You share what you're comfortable with," she reassured as everyone else settled into their seats and turned their attention to the moderator.

"Good evening, everyone! Welcome to 'New Beginnings'," Summer announced, earning her a snort from Kenji's seatmate. "I see few familiar faces, so welcome back. My name is Summer Moscoe, for those who are new. How about you, sir? Care to share?" she looked right at Kenji. Kenji hesitated, but decided that participation would make the time go by faster.

"So, I'm Ken, Kenji Suzumura. This is my first time here. My wife's, uh..., ex-wife's sister suggested that I come," he admitted, getting one or two surprised looks. "I, uh..., my ex-wife left me a few months ago, and her sister and husband are thinking I'm a bit stuck."

"Thank you for sharing, Ken. Alright everyone, let's start sharing around the circle." Kenji listened as others shared their stories. What he took away was that his situation, while sad, could have been worse.

Monica came up to Kenji at the end of the session as he made a face, sipping on the coffee coming from the urn. "You're probably gonna wanna bring your own coffee next time. Take it from a veteran," she quipped with a tight smile. Kenji smiled back, noticing that she wasn't that bad looking.

"Veteran? How long have you been coming?"

"Been coming here for about a year and a half, so far. My husband cheated on me, and boy, was I an angry bitch," Monica admitted. "I'm much better these days. Still not dating, but at least I'm not ripping your face off because you're a guy," she chuckled humourlessly.

"Well, thank you for not yelling at me," Kenji acknowledged with a slight nod and smile.

"So, I'll see you next week?" she asked.

"Yeah, I think so."

~ ~ ~

OVER THE NEXT few weeks of sharing and hearing other people's stories, Kenji came to a few realizations. First and foremost, that this was not his fault and that he wasn't a failure. There really wasn't anything that he could have done to stop this from happening.

When he examined their relationship, Kenji came to another realization. He was only along for the ride. Karen was the instigator throughout most of their life together. Not that he was opposed to what was happening, but that he chose to let it happen and focused on managing other aspects of his life.

That led to another realization, that both he and Karen had chosen to invest in things other than in their relationship. Karen had focused on her dream of becoming a professional actor. Kenji on the other hand chose to expend his energy on his children and his career.

Finally, when all was said and done, Kenji could admit to himself that, although he did grow to care for his ex-wife, and he was fairly sure she cared him, in her way, they were not in love with each other. If she had not initiated the divorce, he would have been content with the relationship they had, but that there was nothing he could have done to stop her.

~ ~ ~

IN THE MONTHS after Karen left, while waiting out the separation, Kenji did not have much of a social life, if at all. In lieu of a social life, Kenji decided he was going to focus more on his kids, and his relationship with his own parents.

Christine noticed that her dad was spending even more time with her and Bradley now that their mom was gone. Not that she was complaining. Bradley seemed to relish his time with their dad, and Christine appreciated the concern he had for how the divorce was affecting her. Christine smiled when she thought of how much her dad loved his kids.

Kenji wasn't always so comfortable with Christine. Even though he had known her most of her life, he wasn't always involved, not that Christine remembered. All her life, she knew that "Dad" was there for her; she didn't really know any other father in her life. Kenji was never "Uncle Kenji" or "Mr. Suzumura" or even just "Ken". Once her mother and Kenji married, he became "Dad".

It was easy for Christine to not to feel her mother's absence in her life. Aunt Kathy and her Oma and Opa made sure that Christine remained connected to her mother through her family. Her connection to Kenji was different. Christine felt his desire to be there, his caring for both herself and her brother. She knew that she wasn't a chore or an obligation. When he could, her dad would make it out to every game, every play, and every important milestone.

When Christine turned ten, her dad officially adopted her as her birthday present. Christine was overwhelmed by the sheer happiness of it that she began to weep. "Why Dad?" she had asked him, not quite understanding why he wanted to make the relationship binding.

"Sweetheart," he replied, "we're just putting down on paper what we both know. That I love you, and I'm your father, and no one can say any different." Christine held her head higher for days afterwards, pride and a sense of assurance in her place in the world filling her to bursting.

Her father brought the family over to Japan to visit his parents and his hometown, so that they could get to know him better. There is nothing like seeing where and how someone grew up to understand them better, especially someone so cut off from their past. Christine sucked up the whole experience like a sponge, immersing herself into the life there. Her steady stream of questions and her efforts to try and fit in endeared her to her adoptive grandparents, her Ojiisan and her Obaasan, who saw their blue-eyed, blonde-haired grandchild striving to earn her belonging in her Japanese side of the family. On that trip, her dad started using to use her Japanese name, Megumi, on occasion to make it easier for his parents. Karen was not amused.

While they were still married, Kenji was the parent with whom Christine bonded more. When they divorced, Christine hurt more for her dad than she did for herself. She knew her dad was burying himself into work and into taking care of her and her brother. She loved getting closer to her dad over this time but she knew he needed to live more of a life, so she encouraged him to get out of the house to do other things. The support group seemed to help, but any time he would get down on himself after a session, she would try to cheer him up.

No matter how much she tried to make sure she was there for her father, she knew he kept putting her and her brother first. When she asked, his only response was, "Because I'm the parent."

~ ~ ~

THE CONTRAST BETWEEN parents couldn't have been more stark. In the first two weeks after her mother left, Karen would call her kids every day. Even though Christine didn't want to talk to her mother, Kenji insisted that she did, because "You only have one mother."

The calls tailed off after a while, to once every other day, to once a week. When her mother started filming again, they could go weeks without speaking. After a while, it was more of a surprise when her mother did call rather than didn't, which was why the call from Karen asking Christine out to lunch a year after she left was such a surprise.

Karen was in town for the film festival and to audition for some roles. Now that she had some TV credits to her name, she was able to wrangle an invitation to a minor event on the periphery of the festival. It was also an opportunity for Brock to come to Toronto on Karen's dime to get some exposure as well, confident now that no one would be coming after him for paternity.

They were going to get together at a Korean BBQ place in the north of the city between the downtown core, where Karen and Brock were staying, and Christine's home in eastern North York. Christine was still feeling hostile towards her mother and wanted to refuse, but her father and aunt made sure that she went, convinced that it would help her gain closure.

Christine's dad drove her to the restaurant and waited with her in the car until her mother arrived with Brock. Not wanting a confrontation with his ex-wife, Kenji just waved from the car after Christine got out.

"I'll just be wandering around the mall nearby, so call me when you're done, OK Meg?"

"OK, Dad. Love you," she said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before getting out. "Thanks for being nearby." Christine walked slowly towards the restaurant, dreading seeing her mother and her new man.

"Hi honey," Karen reached to embrace her daughter. Chistine stiffened as her mother came in for a hug, letting it happen without actively participating. Flustered, her mother drew back and motioned for them to enter the restaurant.

After being seated and giving their drink order, Karen tried to begin the conversation by introducing Brock and Christine to each other. "Honey, I'd like you to meet Brock. He's a friend of mine from Vancouver."

"Hi Christine. I've heard a lot about you from your mom," he greeted the young girl with a toothy grin that creeped Christine out.

"Hi," she responded sullenly. Unsure of what to do next, Brock's gaze leapt from Christine's face to Karen's and back again.

"So..., Christine, I understand you performed in some plays in school. Are you thinking of becoming an actress like your mom?" he asked, attempting to find common ground.

"No," she continued with the monosyllabic answers.

"Christine...," her mother warned under her breath before the waitress came to take their order. Christine threw her mother a glare before looking back at Brock.

"No, I think I'd rather do something different," she answered. "Dad thinks that I should do something with all the languages I speak."

"Acting is a great way to do that, you know," Brock insisted, reaching desperately for a connection. "You'd be really great at it! I'm good at spotting talent."

"Sounds like you're an actor too. Been in anything I've seen?" she asked innocently.

"Well, you know, with an actor as talented as I am," Brock began smugly, "sometimes casting directors steer me to more 'artistic' projects, but really, my first love is theatre." Brock had a condescending air about him when he spoke. "Someone as young as you may not be aware of some of the roles I've had."

"Wow! That's really impressive," Christine faked wide-eyed wonder, but almost unable to hide an imperceptible sarcasm. She opened her mouth to continue along that vein when her mother cut in to change the subject, knowing where this could lead.

"Hey Chrissy, sweetie. Did I tell you that Brock and I will be going to a festival event with some real Hollywood heavy hitters? I'm sure there's going to be some teen stars that you'd be interested in," Karen interrupted.

"I didn't, Mom. So happy for you," Christine said flatly as their food was brought in and placed on the grill.

"I could get you some autographs, if you'd like," Karen offered.

"Thanks Mom, but I'm good," Christine brushed off the offer as she stared at the sizzling meat over the flame. The meal continued through stilted conversation and awkward silences. Near the end of the meal, Christine excused herself, taking the opportunity to call her dad to have him start heading back to the restaurant.

The layout of the restaurant was set up to give each dining group privacy from the others by providing small dining cubicles. When Christine was returning to their table, she overheard Brock and her mother speaking.

"Boy Karen, your daughter really can be bitchy! She's sure lucky she's such a little hottie, just like her mom," his voice had a predatory edge that sent shivers up Christine's spine. What she heard next though, sent her world spinning.

"Shut the fuck up Brock!" she heard her mother hiss. "One, she's just twelve, so that's just sick! Two, she's YOUR daughter, so that should never, NEVER, cross your mind!"

"OK, OK, I didn't know!" Brock made his excuses. Christine chose that moment to re-enter the booth. Both adults swung their eyes to her, a hint of guilt still on their faces.

"Mom, I'm not feeling too well. Is it OK if we left?" she asked, not having to the fake the nausea she was feeling. Seeing her colouring go a little green, Karen quickly agreed and settled the bill, and the trio left the restaurant.

Karen hugged Christine and asked her to come out to Vancouver soon. Brock made a move to give Christine a hug as well, but she quickly stepped back, not able to fully hide the disgust on her face, as she extended her hand for a shake. Spying her father's car, she quickly made her excuses and ran over, jumping into the passenger seat.

"Everything OK, sweetie?" Kenji asked her.

"Can we just go home Dad?" Christine asked, staring straight ahead, her eyes threatening tears. Kenji nodded and headed home.

Tears cascaded down her cheeks as Kenji drove. As soon as they arrived, she ran into the house, directly to her room, and threw herself onto the bed and started sobbing in earnest. Fearing a bad outcome, Kenji had asked Katherine to come over in anticipation of such an event.

When they both entered Christine's room and seated themselves on the bed, Christine launched herself into both their arms and cried until all that was left were a few hiccups. The soothing stroke of her aunt's hand on her head calming Christine down.

She refused to tell her father or aunt about what had her in such a state, afraid of what her dad or the rest of her family would do. After that day, she refused to take any more of her mother's calls for months.

~ ~ ~

CHRISTINE WAS WITHDRAWN after the lunch with her mother and Brock. Outwardly she maintained a cheerful façade, but those that knew her well saw a change in the girl. She was much quieter, often disengaged, and quick tempered. Her loved ones tried to reach her, but she wouldn't speak about what was bothering her.

At school, Christine was equally distant. She was beginning Senior Public School and while her old friends were able to interact with her, she was closed off to new people and new teachers.

Christmas break was not pleasant, with Christine snapping at her family, particularly her little brother, and spending most of the time in her room. Christmas day came and she received a call from her mother. Since it was Christmas, she took the call, taking the phone into the next room, closing the door.

Even through the closed door, the family, sitting at Christmas dinner, could hear her agitation in the murmurs coming through. At the end, Christine was speaking loud enough that they could make out the words.

"Fine! You do what YOU want Mom! Merry Christmas!" they could hear her raising her voice before letting out a frustrated scream. Sobbing could be heard through the doors and Kenji rose to comfort her when Katherine motioned for him and the rest of the family to sit and let her take care of things.

Kenji, Robert, the grandparents, and the other children were more than willing to let Katherine soothe Christine. Dinner continued with one ear on the door, waiting for the outcome. After fifteen minutes or so, Katherine stuck her head out the door and motioned for Kenji. As he entered the room Christine rushed to her father, slamming into his chest as he reached his arms around her to hold her, letting her cry into his shirt.

"Mom... won't come... for my birthday!" she wailed. "I'm gonna be a... <hiccup> teenager, and her acting career is more... more... important that me!" she cried. Kenji looked over her head at Katherine, mouthing words indicating his confusion.

"My sister would rather stay on location 'just in case'," Katherine explained, making the universal hand gesture for air quotes, "instead of flying home for her daughter's first teenage birthday." Kenji nodded his understanding and stroked his daughter's hair while making soothing sounds until she settled down. Katherine reached out to squeeze her niece's shoulder in added comfort.

Kenji looked over his daughter's head again at Katherine, who made a disgusted face and shook her head. She bundled her niece off to bed, making sure Kenji didn't say anything to his in-laws before he went back to dinner. With a sigh, Kenji turned back to the dining room.

~ ~ ~

AMPLIFIED BY HER mother's rejection, Christine's moodiness continued into the new year. It all came to a head one day in the cafeteria. One of the mean girls was mocking her for not looking like her dad, and for her mother abandoning her and not wanting her. Christine finally lost her temper and screamed at the girl.

"Shut up! Shut the fuck up, you bitch!" She picked up her tray and slammed it on the table, scattering food and drink all over. She ran out of the cafeteria, crying. She grabbed her coat out of her locker and ran out of the school, walking the five kilometers home in the cold.

Kenji got the call from the school just as he ended a lunch meeting.

"Mr. Suzumura, I'm Doris Bradford from Christine's school. We just wanted to reach out to let you know that Christine didn't show up to her afternoon class after lunch. We've notified the police but they asked us to reach out to you. By any chance did you bring her home?"

"Ms. Bradford, this is the first I'm hearing about this. Would you mind if I called you back while I check on a few things?" Kenji asked calmly, even though his heart was slamming into his chest in fear.

"Certainly Mr. Suzumura. Again, I aplogise for worrying you. Please let us know if Christine is safe," she requested before hanging up. Kenji called the house right away, reaching Amelia and confirming that Christine did indeed leave school and make her way home. Breathing a sigh of relief, he asked Amelia to put Christine on the phone.

"Young lady, you and I are going to have a talk about your behaviour lately when I get home," he warned. "You don't move. I'll be home soon." He called the school back to let them know that Christine did indeed make it home.

"I'm happy to hear that Mr. Suzumura. Thank you for letting us know. Our principal, Mr. Philips, was wondering if you would be able to come in and speak with him and Christine's teacher this afternoon. Is that possible?"

"Sure Ms. Bradford. I'll be heading home now. Would you like me to bring Christine along?"

"That won't be necessary. Actually, we would prefer if you could come see us before you speak to Christine. Would it be possible to stop by on your way home?"

Kenji arranged to be there in half an hour. After clearing his afternoon, he made his way to the school to have his sit down. Once he arrived, Doris led him into the principal's office, where the principal rose from behind the desk to shake his hand.

"Good afternoon Mr. Suzu-Suzu-...," the principal struggled with Kenji's surname.

"Please, call me Ken, Mr. Philips," Kenji offered, taking pity on the principal.

"And it's Jeff here," the principal reciprocated with relief. "Ah, here's Ms. Meehan," he said rising again.

Kenji turned around and felt like he was punched in the chest. In front of him, by his estimation, was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. In flats, she was as tall as his five foot eleven. With her fair skin and long dark red hair down to her shoulder blades she looked like a Celtic shieldmaiden who wouldn't be out of place on a windswept cliff looking out towards a crashing sea. Her face captivated him. Her sage green eyes, full of warmth, gazed at him with curiosity and concern. She reached out her hand to him.

"I guess this explains how Christine ended up with her surname, Mr. Suzumura," she said with a smile that highlighted her cheekbones.

"Oh, yes, I guess it does. And it's Ken," he said as he recovered and took her hand in his. Her grip was warm and firm, the skin soft on his own calloused palm.