All Comments on 'Star Studded Pt. 03'

Nice ending

Long but ending made it. Thanks.

Great story

5stars

Interesting but a bit silly. Gwen is too hung up on her 15 minutes of fame, many years ago. No one cares.

This was so drawn out that it became tedious to continue. The message in the last part is a very valid one, so for that reason I gave it a 4. I just got tired of the main character’s masochistic mind trip over an old relationship.

10 Big Blazing Stars for Mr. Chopped Liver. Being able to write a dozen pages making a mountain out of a molehill is easy peasy for this writer. Par for the course. Master of the written word, 'par excellence'! Few if any can hold a candle to Mr Chopped Liver. Amazing. I suspect Mr. Chopped Liver could write a novel maybe even an Encyclopedia from the white pages of the phone book. Thank You for your considerable effort Sir, poetry in motion. Great imagination and great talent. Thank You. Buster2U

Gwen needed a mother or aunt or someone who’s opinion she valued that could have grabbed her by the throat and yelled, “Just freaking TELL HIM!” She manufactured all the angst by keeping her secret in the first place. Then she made it a crisis by continuing to insist that it remain secret. Her past only had the power to destroy her present because she gave it that power.

Far, far too circuitous with the explanations. The shocking part is how Lee didn’t fall asleep as Gwen droned on without telling him anything…. Even after she’d decided to tell him.

Great story

at first, I just hated her for making this an issue. Then I hated him for letting it be an issue for him. Somehow, they both became astronauts by the end.

As her husband:

"I'm sorry, but we're done. We're through, over...I wanted this to work. I wanted US to work. But when I heard what you had to say about sleeping with another, I just lost it! I couldn't get the images out of my head. you being taken over and over again. you offering yourself as you never had before or possibly since. you not sharing your secrets with me. it was too much..."

"but why? We had built so much together, so many moments. Hollywood meant nothing."

"I know. It's not me, it's you. YOU. JUST. WON'T. SHUT-UP!!! That's why I've purchased an RV with my/our retirement monies--i also had my attorneys amend the Trust so that you have to move out of the house you were paying rent on the entirety of our marriage and EYE will be traveling where you'll never find me, to near the Shenandoah, York, PA or possibly Skaggsville, MD. Don't look for me at the rest stops there. So, what do you have to say?"

"zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

She talks too much. Says the same things over and over. I got fed up by the end of page one, content to never know the SOBs name. I’d divorce her for talking me to tears

A story about nothing…

So long and drawn out. I couldn’t wait for this to end. This entire story could have been one of those 750 word quickies.

This was just so long and repetitive

Took too long to get to it!

I got bored and stopped reading it.

Why should he care whom she dated before him? We all have secrets, does he tell his wife he picks his nose and eats it? Or that he smells his shit after taking the browns to the superbowl?

But somehow her not telling the name of her famous boyfriend that she dated for only a few weeks is a marriage killer?

Fuck him.

Very poor drag out of a story. It was like a kid was trying to confess but couldn't. Tell the story and get on with it.

Another tale describing the husband like a whining, immature and childish sheep. And the wife smart and manipulative, as always happens in this kind of fempov one-sided psycho-fantasies. It would be nice to put a male brain in the head of these husbands and not a sheep one, to make the tale a minimum credible.

This is awful. The story is overwritten, the dialogue is stilted and far too highly mannered, and both main characters are emotionally children,

If there is a world record for boring stories that just keep rehashing the same stupid dialog over and over then this one is the winner.

A very almost good story Loved the twists and turns BUT I would hate to be in Lees shoes trying to unraVEL THE SECRET (jaybee186)

Good thing it wasn’t Ron Jeremy.

After soooo nany drawn out pages of unnecessary dialogue, the final reveal is.... *insert drum roll here*...Chad Pitt!

*sad trombone* Yay. 🙄

This was very long and repetitive

I hereby crown you, Choppedliver, the absolute GrandMaster of the incredibly long drawn out, over-elaborated, repetitive, agonizingly slow-moving, much-ado-about-nothing, simply way-too-long writing style! Sure, this was a cute idea (though few people are quite so star-struck these days) but REALLY it could have been wrapped up -and WAY more readable- in ONE simple part. You did not need to drag this out across three multi-chapter parts! It was agonizing.

Okay Buster (whose writing talent equals mine, and for that reason I don’t post stories….) has a point (blind squirrel thing). Next time you write a three part story, try to delete the second part and see if it really matters. Maybe the last page of the first third and the first page of the third part too. 😇 Your stories still get fives from me.

Proud of myself for hanging in there and reading the whole story. No skimming like I did with her other stories. This is a clear example of the differences in the sexes- stereo-typically how women LOVE to talk something to death, enjoying all the thought processes involved, while we men are bored to tears and wish they would JUST GET ON WITH IT. I've been way too critical in commenting on CL's stories, as she writes what interests her, and I'm sure she has a loyal following. It's just hard for us shallow and insensitive men to read and enter in.

Never has so many words been used to say so little.

I usually love psychological insight. But this? Pages upon pages ranting about an extremely shallow, uninteresting basic premise, the wife having had a short relationship with a famous actor a long time ago? From the start my mind screamed 'Just tell him everything, you stupid bitch!'

I used to like some of this author's stories, so I kept reading. I shouldn't have.

I don’t get the praise for the ending. She describes fantastic sex with her husband, and tells all her friends to expect the same. But ordinary people have ordinary sex. Men don’t last forever and women don’t have endless orgasms. She’s setting these people up for disappointment.

I skipped part 1 and 2 and skimmed this one and still don't care. So basically when she was single and not dating her husband she had sex, often, with a movie star. That's about it, right?

This was a great story, it reflects real life.The wordiness adds anxiety to the story and builds up tension. I enjoyed the emotion it brought to me. I hated Splashdown story that truly was way too wordy. This story had enough to keep you sucked in. Thanks for writing a truly exceptional story, although it was a silly story. Everyone knows Chad Pitt is a flaming homosexual………..

5⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ all day long.

Overall Great story, but it was difficult for me to read. It kept repeating the same things in different wording. It could have been a few pages less without all of the repeats!

Maybe it's time to change this so overused bottom line in which a "confused" slut wife try to manipulate her idiot childish husband with tons of psychobabbles. The writing talent could be spent better in other good directions in this LW category.

Ugh. Way too much navel gazing

This chapter makes me resent the first two chapters.

The whole story could have been told in this one chapter.

Way, way too long. The wife has issues, lots of them, and the husband should just have dumped her, and for sure not trusted her again. Talking to her friends about her past lovers would do it for just about any guy. 3 chapters of psychobabble from wife would do it as well....

You may be the most "skipable" author on Literotica. As soon as I got the drift I ditched chapter one and skipped right to the end of chapter 3. Then started reading backwards from the end. Its a little harder skipping backwards through a story, but your writing style makes it worth the effort. Got it, in less than 5 minutes. Thanks, for nothing.

Not bad, but it took way too long to get to Chad Pitt. You need a little more brevity in your work to keep people interested. I can’t forgive you for Splashdown yet.

Boring. But I suppose a good lesson on How To Say Nothing In A Hundred Different Ways.

Needless to say, I gave up long before the end.

Do you not read your feedback? This again was just way too long winded and contained way too much repetition without advancing the narrative….

You have some really good story ideas. You just have extreme difficulties in presenting your stories in an interesting and exciting manner. Not really sure how you can overcome that with the way you tell a story.

This is meant as constructive criticism.

Your first two stories, 'Being Special' and 'Getting it Wrong' are two of the best stories on this site. In fact, 'Getting it Wrong' should be the gold standard for 750 Word or short stories.

But while your stories are engaging, the text as you have written it would be much better suited to a screenplay than a short story. Dialogue in a screenplay has the benefit of being spoken by actors who can convey angst and a range of emotion that is not evident in text alone and the text, without the benefit of the changing dynamics that actors can provide, can seem unnecessarily repetitive. This was especially true of ‘Splashdown'. That story had many absolutely great lines that were unfortunately lost in the mass of language. Indeed, the plot, tension and drama in ‘Splashdown' were compelling and I kept hoping that Peggy would remain faithful – I really cared about the characters; but honestly, I found myself skimming through parts of it because the sheer amount of the text was distracting to the story. The same was true here.

You clearly demonstrated your ability to tell a story in a compelling and succinct manner in your first two stories. If you can combine that with some of the poignant observations and great lines you demonstrate in your other stories; you will have a winning combination. Thanks!!

I liked it. This part was better than the first two, and the little bit of humor helped it too.

I really found this intriguing and interesting.

Ch. 1 had some redundant paragraphs that seemed to be pasted out of place towards the end.

5/5

Wolf

sorry this story is not for me I like long stories but found this one too long and a lot of rambling and repeating itself the concept and construction were fine but for me could have been finished in two pages rather than three parts as i say sorry just not for me 3 stars

Bit repetitive but I actually liked this chapter. However getting here was excruciating and overwrought. So why this chapter? Eventually the reveal, he handles it with humor and is fine. His lessons and her epiphany and getting out of her weird headspace on her long ago celebrity hookup was fun to watch. His humor was hilarious as well as her worried reactions. Then they made up mostly her realizing she was free of her guilt and past, and their discussion about sex had a lot of merit, including the experience that comes with being a long time lover. Her antics with thr girls were funny. And it ended with humor. She certainly was revved up when he guessed the actor. But wow the prior two cheaters were just pure torture to get theough. Especially the second one.

Well told especially the part where she tells her husband and he then turns it into a positive situation. I read many LW stories and most of them that deal with the dreaded "male ego" are written poorly. Finally a real good story with a bend to it that is very plausible. Good job.....

It's "Hear, hear," not "Here, here." Just sayin". As with your other stories I enjoyed this one a lot, and how your characters drill really deep to explore situations and feelings. Some might say too wordy, but I find it value-added.

Now i understand why my Mother said don't take drugs... i believe this Author was taking hallucinogens while writing this repetitive drawn out ramble. And as for the "Movie Star" she went out with for a short period, who the hell cares!!!

Pages and pages of wasted angst.