All Comments on 'Step Sister Corruption 111-120'

by Lightning454572

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pjpbpjpbabout 1 month ago

4.5/5 overall (rounded up... mostly as current rating too low IMHO)

NIce narrative and decent MC (Gabe) character development so far. Nice writing style, light humor, consistent pretty decent well rounded MC. So far it seems the story indicated deepening threesome relationship story with Gabe, Kelly, Summer, and open to other females for occasional romp. I enjoy this story main theme, it's a plus.

Several story aspects and cheracters less overwhelming, future chapters will decide. Specific concerns:

1. Title misfitting chapters so far... and with current character development I hope it will remain misleading. I could be argued it (weakly) matches chapter one, completely off since

2. Mother - I reserve my judgment for future chapters. It could work OK if stepfather disclosed to be someone who in recent months effectively abandoned his wife and was stealing money from their household (as recent chapters seem to indicate)

3. I am not enjoying all three characters in the threesome - Summer seems to be a manipulative bitch, addicted to Gabe, but otherwise a ticking bomb once some of her ideas does not work out. Both Gabe and (to less extend) Kelly have some human backstory and feelings, Summer's story seems to be only money shortage, brain shattering sex with Gabe being cornerstone of their relationships (as opposite to some actual love apparent between Kelly and Gabe), dominating other females. To be honest, I would stop enjoying story if Kelly vanished or her relationship with Gabe long term tanked but I wouldn't have a significant issues if Summer vanished

4. Rape as described in this story is a major turn-off to me - here it seems to be 'she wanted it bad but her inhibitions kept her grounded, let's sneak her some drugs to help her spread her wings'... Sorry, erotic fantasy or not, non-consent drugging and sex is rape and no 'she actually enjoyed it and wanted more once drugs left her system' changes it

5. Potentially too slow pace - current progress could be slow without destroying the story mostly to allow to show the backstory. If pace maintaned, there is not way to actually develop the story and the only options left would be either 'new female joined in circumstances XYZ and had the most intensive orgasm ever' or soap opera variation (plenty of activities and permutations but little actual story progress)

My hope for future chapters:

1. Further story line development concentrating on current core, max with small (1 female?) addition. Deepen their relationship

2. No more rape (sex while non-consentually drugged)

3. Less 'trainings' of any sorts. Enough with Kelly early on and Morgan

Darque_LyteDarque_Lyteabout 1 month ago

Another one where part of the story brings down the rest. The kids don't even know how much money they are making because the father gets all of it and just gives them an allowance? It feels like he is about to pull a disappearing trick with all the money and have something to blackmail the rest of the family so they don't come after him. The number of cameras alone is enough to have bothered me but the father being sole person in charge of the money just screams of bad things coming which detracts from the rest of the story.

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I'm a fledgling writer mainly writing nsfw stories that pop into my head. I have a lot of my stories on Reddit but right now trying this site in a vain hope to expand my reader base. If you like my work feel free to drop a line and as always leave comments on my stories so I...