Stepdad Carl Pt. 21

"Dammit Scott you put my life in jeopardy here, we were making love unprotected, you could have given me anything, I trusted you. Even worse is if you gave Paul something they will want to know who he slept with, he's a minor Scott you're looking at jail time."

"Yes Tom I did cheat on you while we were apart, and no I did not play safe with any of the guys I had sex with."

I grabbed my phone and texted Paul telling him to go get tested as soon as possible, just in case.

Darren and Billy did not say a word, Darren got up, walked over to Scott pulled him to his feet by his throat stood there his fist cocked, his other hand firmly around Scott's neck squeezing.

"Go ahead Darren hit me please I deserve it, someone should hit me."

Darren pushed him back down on the couch, his fist still cocked, the rage in his face and body movements showing how little respect he now had for his friend.

"You stupid son of a bitch, I don't get you Scott, I don't even know who you are, we have been friends for years now, you told me how much you loved Tom here, how you planned to marry the guy, then you do all of this stupid shit, someone should punch you in the head, cause your not right in that head of yours, the only reason I will stay friends with you is Tom asked me to, no other reason."

Scott cried, I felt for him but I would not console him, he deserved to cry, he needed to wake up, he could go to jail, he could lose his company, he could have an infectious disease. He also could have given it to me and to Paul and countless others, he could lose his best friend.

Billy got up to grab us all a beer, Darren followed him, Scott could not get himself in control, he could not stop crying, he could not catch his breath. I moved in closer to him, I ran my hand over his back.

"It's going to be okay Scott your a good man overall but you made stupid choices, Paul and all the others were massively stupid decisions. Now you have to own up to what you did like a man, if Paul goes to the Police you will have to take your medicine, you could lose everything."

Scott looked at me, I think he thought I might hold him, as he cried, I had a hard time to touch his shirt covered back, his touch now made me uncomfortable. The man had multiple guys in bed, the bed we shared the bed we slept in together, I wanted to be sick.

"Do you think you could ever forgive me Tom?"

"Forgive you maybe in time, I will not carry around all of this for the rest of my life, get back together with you never ever again. I deserve a better man than you Scott Mitchell. I still care for you and will worry about you for the rest of my life, so please take care of yourself. We all care for you Scott your a good man overall, you just made some stupid mistakes. Learn from them and carry on."

Scott got up and went into the washroom, he needed to pull himself together, he came out he had washed his face, his eyes so red, every time he looked at me he cried.

"It's going to be okay Scott, lets drink our beers and talk about other things."

"Tom tell me how you can be in the same room as me, if I was you I would want to harm you, stab you, yell at you, hurt you, kick you, make you bleed, beat you to a pulp, make you pay for what you have done to me."

"How is any of that going to help the situation Scott, come on, I know you, you're a good man overall, I still do not hate you, just a lot mad at you, you ruined our future together, I saw us like Darren and Billy here in a house, married, waiting to adopt a child, living our lives together. But that can never be now, you made some bad decisions that will affect yours and my life for the rest of both of our lives. But I still do not hate you Scott I still love you, but you've made it hard to be in love with you."

Scott sat there next to me, I knew he wanted to hold me kiss me, make love to me, but that was never to be ever again, the tears started once again for Scott, I did what I could to change the mood in the room. We would order food for dinner, Not Pizza, anything but pizza. We all sat and had dinner, it was weird to not feel like I had about Scott, they say there is a fine line between love and hate, but I think we let ourselves hate the person who wronged us, I could never hate Scott, I still only felt love for the man.

Scott continued to stare at me, I know he was amazed that I could be in the same room as him and not stab him with my fork. After dinner we had a drink, I would not stay to late I was tired and wanted to get back to my hotel. I unblocked Scott, but warned him if he sent me stupid messages or more lies I would block him once again. Scott offered to drive me back to my hotel, I looked at him, he really was trying to be nice to me, he felt like crap for what he did, I did not have to punish him any further.

I accepted his gracious offer, but made it clear he was not getting me back in bed. He told us he would go get tested and would not put anyone else in jeopardy. I looked at him I was still so in love with this man, he was my Scott, my soul mate, the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. But he and I were done, it was me who wanted to cry now for the loss I suffered by Scott's bad decisions.

He and I got in the car he wanted to open my door be the gentleman, treat me like he used too. We both sat there in the car in the driveway.

"Are you okay Babe?"

"You're not allowed to call me that anymore Scott, and No I am not okay."

"What can I do for you Tom?"

"Take it all back, you ruined it all Scott, we could have had the perfect life together you and I, I came here to tell you I gave my resignation at work, I was going to move in with you, so we could start looking for that house that would be perfect for both of us, I was so lonely without you."

I was full on crying as the last of it came out of my mouth, Scott sat there staring at me, he really had made some stupid decisions that he would live to regret the rest of his life. I could not hold anything back, Scott tried to pull me in to a hug, but I resisted, I pushed him back, he pulled me in tight to him and held me in his car as I cried.

"Tom I'm sorry just doesn't cut it here, how could I be so stupid? I've ruined both our lives"

I pulled away from Scott and stared out the side window, I would survive this, I would get through it all, but right now I wanted to cry, lay in bed and cry.

"Scott I need to know, was I not enough for you? Did I not make you happy emotionally and sexually? Did I not do enough to make this work for us both?"

"Tom it is not you who is to blame here, I am more than one hundred percent at fault, you not being at my side was a good excuse for me to do what I did to you, to us really, you and I made the perfect couple, I was never so happy as when you were at my side."

" Why did you ask me to marry you Scott if you had all these men on the side, did you ever really love me? Take me to my Hotel please Scott."

"I asked you to marry me cause I love you Tom, but it was so hard being alone."

Scott was in tears, he wiped his eyes with his sleeves, then got us on the road to my Hotel room. We did not talk for the entire ride, if I tried to say something I started to cry. He pulled up to my Hotel, I turned and looked at him, put my hand on his arm, I worried about him, he was after all a really good man overall, a man I was so madly in love with.

"You take care of yourself Scott, know that I still love you, always will, but I can't forget what you did and I can't trust you, we cannot build a relationship on any of that."

"Tom you have to know I really do love you but I chose a really stupid way to show I even care for you, cheating is the lowest I have to admit, I know you could never trust me, but I really do love you with all my heart and soul, I was lonely, I missed you, and I chose a stupid way of dealing with the loneliness. I should have gone to see you, I should have, I really should have not hurt you Tom, Tom I am so sorry."

"Scott please don't do anything stupid, stay away from Paul, I will try to get the boy to not name you if he does have something, you don't deserve to be in jail as a sex offender, I hope you find what your looking for, cause that is not me, you need someone clearly more special than myself to love you Scott."

Scott and I both in tears, I hugged him, he kissed my neck, then I got out of the car, I got in my room and laid on the bed and cried. I wanted my Scott back the man I loved not the cheater Scott the one I fell in love with, the one who asked me to marry him. I woke up in the morning I was worn out, I felt almost hung over, I ordered breakfast, stayed in my bed most of the morning, the maid came and knocked I asked her not to clean but to put new towels.

I laid in bed watching tv, Billy called asking if I wanted to come over.

"I'm not very good company today Billy but thanks for the invite, I just want to lay in my bed feel sorry for myself and cry."

"Come on Tom come join us for a barbeque, we are having burgers and hot dogs."

I was so jealous of Billy and Darren right now, they had what I always wanted. They finally got me to agree, Darren getting on the phone not taking no for an answer, he would come get me, drag ,me out of bed if I did not come over. They offered to pick me up I chose a cab instead. Took me almost two hours to get myself out of bed, in the shower and in the cab to their home. We had a beer in the backyard, enjoying the beautiful sunny day.

I was there maybe a half hour and Scott came walking in, I suspected he may show up, I just hoped they were not trying to set us up. When he walked into the backyard I started to cry, I excused myself and went to the washroom. Billy came to check on me asking if I wanted Scott to go.

"No Scott can stay ,he needs to be somewhere, it's all just so raw right now, I'm not sure if I told you but I resigned my job to move in with Scott when I came here to find him in bed with Pizza Boy, it's like I have been kicked in the balls then hit with a brick wall knocking me down, holding me there not letting me back on my feet."

"We can tell Scott to go if you really want, I don't really want him here and we did not invite him, he just knew you would be here."

"No Billy he can stay, I am just an emotional wreck right now is all, let me wipe my face and get myself composed and I will come back out."

I washed my face with cold water, looked myself in the mirror I looked aweful, I pulled all the emotions back inside, I could do this. I walked back out seeing him was so hard, he looked at me and it made me want to cry, I had lost so much. I grabbed a beer and took a seat. Darren was yelling at him when I came out, he could not hold back his anger and the rage he felt for his friend.

"You've ruined everything Scott I really don't understand you and I have known you for so many years, you and I best friends, and you do this to Tom here, what to fuck man?"

"Darren I know what I did was incredibly stupid and I will have to live with it for the rest of my life now."

"The man resigned from his career to be with you, what to hell is wrong with you Scott?"

I had never heard or seen Billy so mad at someone, but he knew I had my heart set on building a life with Scott here.

"Tom are you okay?"

"Honestly I will not be okay for a very long time Scott, you broke me, you broke my heart, you broke my soul, you broke the dream I had of us being together for the rest of our lives. I hope one day I can trust another man like I trusted and loved you."

He wanted to come here he would listen to what I had to say to him. I would not be mean to him. I still loved him I could not be mean to him but I would pour out the raw emotions I was feeling. Scott sat looking at his feet the entire afternoon. He too had a hard time to look me in the eyes. I walked up to him and pulled him to his feet, I took his face in my hands, had his eyes on my eyes.

"Do you see it Scott? Do you see the pain I am in? You caused all of this for me, for both of us really."

I pushed him back in his seat, he cried I cried. Billy and Darren got lunch served up, I almost wondered if they regretted inviting me over. I grabbed Scotts arm and dragged him to the washroom.

"Wash your face with cold water Scott, you and I look like someone has died."

Scott cleaned himself up, I got in next and wiped my own face up, Scott waited as I cleaned myself up. He walked with me a few steps behind me, we came back out both of us looking a little bit better.

"Beer anyone?"

"Yes please a round of drinks are in order I do believe Billy."

Scott and I were far too depressing for our hosts, we had to put on our happy faces and pretend everything was okay just for this afternoon. The food was incredible, the beer never stopped coming, I had had way to many.

We sat around after dinner we talked like we used to, Billy and Darren talked about adoption, they hoped to have a child in the very near future. Barbra over the moon that she would be a gramma. Scott and I tried to keep our happy faces on for the rest of the afternoon. My flight was to leave in the early afternoon tomorrow, Darren and Billy wanted to drive me to the airport, I told them they had shuttle service at my Hotel so it really was not necessary.

I know Scott hoped I would let him drive me to the airport but I did not care to see him after tonight. Scott insisted on driving me back to my Hotel, I really wanted to get a cab. It was hard to be in such a small space with him, I was usually on him holding him or touching him, as close as I could be to him as he drove.

He pulled up to my Hotel, I thanked him for the ride, he asked if he could drive me to the airport, I told him no I preferred to use the shuttle service.

"Goodbye Scott, take care of yourself, I still don't hate you, I still love you, but I can never trust you."

"Goodbye Tom I know I can never say Sorry enough to fix this but I am sorry and I too love you so very much."

Scott and I hugged, I held him a moment longer, I really did still love this man. I got out of the car and went in to my Hotel. Scott was waiting for me as I came out to get in the shuttle the next day, he wanted to bring me to the airport, I decided I could grant him this one last request.

He and I barely spoke at first, there was something Scott wanted to tell me, but I did not know what it was.

"Tommy, I wish I could go back to the first time I met you, you and Billy about to kiss, Darren and I giving you two a hard time. Being your knights in shining armor, I knew then I was attracted to you. But I fucked up, I can't take any of it back, I can't take back the hurt I caused you, I have learnt a valuable lesson here, I've lost the love of my life. I know I will never find another man like you Tom, I don't even deserve a good man like you Tom, you deserve one of the best guys ever that will love you with all his heart and soul, never lie to you always be honest with you. Again I am sorry and I know sorry does not cut it but know this I Love you so much."

I sat there, for a second I thought I could forgive him and take him back, I was still so in love with this man, maybe he had learned his lesson, but how do I ever trust a man like Scott? Scott was in tears as he told me what he had to say.

"Scott first and foremost take care of yourself, I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you, I still love you, and care for your well being, find a man who can tame you, take care of you and your needs, a man who can love you with all his heart, and be good to him Scott. I really do still Love you, it hurts me to leave you being honest."

Scott pulled up to the departures, I leaned in and kissed his cheek, I got out of the car and never looked back, this was the last time I saw Scott. Scott sat and watched me as I went into the airport, he was in tears, banging his hands on the steering wheel. Billy and Darren kept a close eye on Scott, he was a loner now, he went to work then went home, he rarely went over to Darren and Billy's place, said it made him think of me. He knew Billy had little or no respect for him now, he did not seem to want to have a boyfriend or even a guy on the side, he could not get over how he had wronged and hurt me.

I too stayed clear of any and all men, I got back in the company I resigned from, they wanted me back with a pay raise, I bought a three bedroom house two and a half baths a pool in the backward, the house needed work done to it, so I got it for a really good price. I would have the kitchen and the bathrooms all refinished, a glass shower in the two full baths all new flooring new fixtures, walk in closet the works, before I would move in to it.

I thought about Scott all the time, the house was supposed to be our future, be it in the city I was in or the city he was in, so many times I wanted to call him, see how he was doing, but I could never open that door ever again. Scott did meet a guy that he thought was the one, both Billy and Darren did not approve of the guy from the start, it only lasted about a month.

The guy cheated on Scott every chance he got, gave Scott gonorrhea, Billy said Scott stayed single after that. he told me Scott asked how I was, and how I was doing often, he wished he could talk to me, but he knew I did not want any part of him, not even a friendship.

Paul and I tested negative for any and all STI's. Paul messaged me a few times he wished me well, he had met a guy his age, who was single and treated him well, he even suggested I get back with Scott, he knew the man loved me more than any other. I never wished Scott any ill will, I only hoped he found a guy that would make him happy.

Darren and Billy adopted two kids, they were over the moon, I was happy for them, but also jealous as well. Barbra was so happy to have two grand children, she and John spoiled them rotten. I went to visit Dad and Timmy, I had to let them know the whole Scott story, Dad was so disappointed in Scott he really liked the guy, even saw Scott and I married.

Dad and Timmy both still in love and doing well Timmy graduated university took a teaching job at the local school.

I stayed with them for a few days I had a hard time to be around people, especially happy couples, it made me think of what I had lost with Scott. I was tempted more than once to message him, or call him, but I knew I was weak and I just might let the man back into my life.

I talked to Billy every Sunday, he would fill me in on how the kids were, how he and Darren were doing. He had Darren keep close tabs on Scott, he knew I was worried about him, Scott was coasting along like I was. He went to work, he ate, he went home and started all over again, Billy said there was a look in his eyes, the man was lost, his heart broken by what he had done to me and to us.

I avoided contact with any and all people even at work, if anyone asked how I was the answer was always the same "I was fine". I met a man named Terry at a coffee shop, he was quite the guy let me tell you all about him.