by Mygypsy
Christ can't you give the poor girl a break? Raped even by the men you lead us to believe care about her! Beaten! Given no time to heal, no doctor, no pain killers. Christ All Mighty I really hate this story but continue to read it in hopes that she finds a gun and kills all of them, starting with Hawk.
Sky's treatment is abusive and painful but I still think this is very well written. It's tough to consider this happening to anyone so I think as a reader there are moments where you're cringing or not wanting to read through the rough scenes. This speaks to the descriptive writing and emotional pull the story has. I love stories that are emotional and pyschologically interesting, not just sexual. Eroticsm means much more when there's substance and depth behind it, not just the writing of body parts having sex. The potential between Ren and Sky keeps me coming back since I hope more will come from their relationship. I'm also intrigued as to where this story goes with Sky's abduction and the interaction each character has.
...Think you are doing well. You have taken an extremely violent subject matter and have written into the catagory well. Its not an easy thing, to write something that affects our own sense of wariness towards brutality, it does make me wince a little, but I find your writing skills are great, you keep track of your characters well, making each one of us hate the ones we are meant to, and wish the others would buy poor Sky and protect her from Hawk, or that she does get away entirely. Keep going, Im very interested to see where this goes, how her life turns out. Perhaps a little more descriptive text in this chapter to remind the reader as she is running away that her body is still sore from Wilson's attack?
Good story, but give the poor girl a break. Or atleast a knife so she can gut one of those guys!
Could she kill them already? or escape? I'm finding it hard to believe that any of these men have any sembelance of the meaning of proper treatment and Ren's comment about family had me in fits. Right 'cause she's supposed to believe that! If Jake, Brad and Ren really cared about her, they'd let her go. I like the way you've written it though, very intense if not that erotic.
I think you're doing an excellent job. Yes, it's a bit brutal at times but it works with the rest of the story. If others don't like it, they can go read something else. You're an excellent writer and have developed the characters well. There's a sense of mystery surrounding the bikers. I can't wait to see how who ends up with Sky...Ren or Jake (does he care about Sky more than we realize?)...but then again, would anyone ever go against Hawk? I don't want her to kill anyone, however, I wouldn't mind if someone would take care of Wilson once and for all!
I been following this story and while it has been very violent this chapter which I havent liked at lot Ive thought it was well written. I am one who would like to see Ren and Sky together or if not Ren how about Brad or even Jake. At least they seem to care more about her than Hawk does.
Im sorry but Hawks behaviour is starting to remind me of a spoilt brat who dont like to share his toys.
I read a lot of stories on Literotica. I happen to have a particular fondness for rape fantasies. However, this story is at the point where it is not erotic, and it is not enjoyable. It's a kidnapping and enslavement story about a bunch of men who you are trying to turn into romantic heroes who are really just rapists and torturers of this girl. I, too, feel sorry for her. It might be different if they at least valued her and treated her with care and concern, but there is no care and concern, just degradation and humiliation. I hardly EVER leave comments but I felt compelled to after reading this because it turned my stomach...What you have written is not a pleasurable read, this is not entertainment, it's just sick.
If you don't like non-consent stories then why are you in this section? Click on the loving wives or consensual sex categories you homos. Real men hit women.
If you don't like non-consent stories then why are you in this section? Click on the loving wives or consensual sex categories you homos. Real men hit women.
Looses is not a word, loose is a word but does not mean the same thing as lose or loses. I see this mistake everywhere, and it makes me cringe every time.