All Comments on 'Stolen to Neverland Ch. 03'

Wow this is really good!! You did a really good job in this chapter describing everything. I look forward to the next installment. 5 stars

Stopped by site to see if anything had changed in the past couple of years. This story popped up as new and I am BLOWN AWAY. I was able to follow along without reading first two...headed there next.

Character development? Check.

Fully realized world? Check.

Story moves along without drudgery? Check.

If you have never written let me just tell you it is ten times harder to do that in a short story than a novel.

I wish I could sit down with this author so we could discuss writing.

As I use on another site...my HOLE ranking is 8.9

Cannot wait to see Briar and what she is in for.

Pleaseeeee update this quickly. Seriously, this is awesome. I am looking forward to what else you post.

This is a great start and this story has the potential to either be absolutely amazing or absolutely dreadful.

I never would’ve thought to make Peter Pan erotica, I suppose since everyone in the original story is children the idea never came to me, but making them adults works well. Peter Pan in himself is rather creepy and if you’ve ever read the original novel by JM Barrie you’d know he’s borderline abusive at times, even beating and starving the Lost Boys for no reason. Him ‘growing up’ to be a rapist isn’t that surprising.

In the first chapter you noted that this Peter is different to the original story and Wendy does not exist. What of the other characters? Hook as a rival could be interesting, as would the involvement of Tinkerbell and Tiger Lilly. I’ve also noticed you’ve changed the name of The Lost Boys, which whilst I was first against it, I think it makes more sense since the original Lost Boys have such childish names.

My main criticism is there not enough dialogue. I need an equal amount of description and dialogue to get into the story and right now I’m not getting enough. Also I don’t know if I missed it or not, but how old are Peter and Briar supposed to look? I know Peter is ageless but can’t decide if he looks 19 or 35 and Briar seems to be around 25. The chapters also feel too short - these three could have been one chapter. But apart from that I’m very much enjoying the story.

Also a cheeky idea, pixie dust that makes you fly = Peter’s cum? ;)

Please write more to this story. I keep checking to see if it's updated. I love it so much you're a great writer!

Poor Briar. Hope you continue this story. Great premise. Do you have an idea how long the story will be.

Wow, it's been a long time but I still think about this story from time to time. If you ever do update again, you'll definitely have an audience.