All Comments on 'Strange Day'

for a very nice tale

But you need a decent author.

This was a great story.

I agree that you could have had someone edit it for you.

What was the biggest problem was the portion on the bus was unresolved.

Maybe, make a part two and tell us?

The storyboard works fine but grammatical errors get in the way. Typically, it was repertitions of lines and words within paragraphs that distracted from the visit.

You can see there's a story here - probably a good one - but it is 100% unreadable. This really is some of the worst "writing" that I've encountered here in some time.

I suggest you work with one of Lit's volunteer editors before submitting again. (Perhaps fix this up and resubmit it)

And then she admits that she was the one on the bus.....

And then she admits that she was the one on the bus....