All Comments on 'Stranger at the Bar'

Please get an editor or research basic, elementary punctuation. This story may be wonderful but I don't know because the many and constant mistakes render it unreadable for me.

A certain number of errors can be overlooked, but not when they start in the second sentence and never stop: "How dare she do this to me(QUESTION MARK and capital "W" or "when") we both agreed that we would talk this over with Dad before we moved Mom." (moved Mom to where?)

Very nice for your first story. Don't worry about what the other jerk wrote. Just work on improving your writing.

I'm a jerk because I think an adult should be able to write in intelligible English? (If the writer is not a native English speaker, an editor is even more important). Check the forum. A very good writer has pointed out many more errors than have I. Go tell her she's a jerk too for giving feedback to someone asking for just that.

You're not doing any writer a favor by telling them their semi-literate writing is great just because it helps you jerk off. How can they get better if they don't know what they're doing wrong? Moron.

I'd agree that this needs a bit of editing; it is clear that you need some more time to refine your craft. Before you publish any more, I would suggest getting an editor or at least a second pair of eyes to read through it for errors. Practice makes perfect though, so don't give up.

I haven't had experience with BDSM in real life but reading this story made me want to try it! I understand the grammatical points that others have made but, in my opinion, any deficiencies there are more than outweighed by the immediacy of the story-telling. It reads as though it's being lived. SMACK! :) (I tried to post this comment as Literotica user Redcraze, but for some reason it kept asking me to log in again).

Renee,

Keep writing....you had my eyes, mind and body hooked till the last line.

Ron

I haven't had experience with BDSM in real life but reading this story made me want to try it! I understand the grammatical points that others have made but, in my opinion, any deficiencies there are more than outweighed by the immediacy of the story-telling. It reads as though it's being lived. SMACK! :)

Renee, this is a powerful tour de force, in more ways than one!

I'm hoping that there will be a sexy sequel for the next morning!

Well done, enjoyed it. Hope you write more....

Really enjoyed this, excellent

very nice story. Keep writing and never stop.

So Hottt, I became hard instantly.

I like this story. It brings me back to the encounters that used to happen before all this lock down shit!!! Made my cock swell and now I’m dripping with the lust of a good fucking....if only I could get one.

A nice simple story of instant lust. I enjoyed it very much.

Wow!! You are a passionate lady. Thanks for a great story.