All Comments on 'Strangers Embrace Ch. 02'

Just my thoughts, it seems you spend a bit too much time noting innocuous actions that don't really drive the plot forward or provide much detail.

Overall it's not bad, but maybe just describe fewer actions, as I'm reading each sentence wondering why it's in the story as it doesn't seem to provide much needed information. Sometimes a scene needs to be set, sometimes character building is needed, sometimes, plot needs to be pushed, but sometimes, I just feel like in watching someone meandering through their day wondering what the relevance of each action is.

Just my 2 cents. I'm not a professional writer. Take my advice with a grain of salt. Constructive criticism, only meant to help, not put down.