All Comments on 'Stray Prey Ch. 04'

I am wondering if English is not your first language perhaps? Some of the phrasing you use is interesting. For example, I've noticed you've used the word "impossibly" in a way that most do not, as in: <i>She could have impossibly yielded to the touch of a murderer willingly!</i> The correct phrasing for that sentence would be: She could not have possibly yielded to the touch of a murderer willingly," or better yet, "She could not have willingly yielded to the touch of a murderer!" Leave the possibly and/or impossibly out of it altogether. <br><br>

I like your story, but I hope you are not going to continue with Rosaline acting like a scared bunny throughout. Virginal or not, she can still be a strong and capable woman. I'm also a little confused at the various mentions of her "morality" or lack of it, because she had a man over at her apartment. We're in the year 2007, and I presume Rosaline is over the age of 18. So whether she invites a strange man to spend the night or not shouldn't be of any concern, and why the police should question her morality is beyond me.<br><br>

I think you have a very good story in the making here. I would like to hear more about Dominic soon. But please consider seeking out an editor to help you smooth out the syntax and grammar a bit.

Reading a story shouldn't be an assignment. At this point I am confused. The plot is running all over the place and there are so many characters I can't keep them straight.

All writers have their own style.I think it is a good story.It is like a mystery keep reading it and it will all come together.I can't wait to see where it goes and what will happen next.Keep on writing.

Disjointed; the threads of the story don't seem to be woven but then I haven't seen the completed work.

Reign: a period of ruling as in the "the monarch's reign." Rein: a leather strap meant to convey a rider's intent to a beast of burden as in the "reins controlling the horse's path."

Waste: effluent, discarded material. Waist: the area of the body above the pelvis.

The errors of diction (word usage) distract from the impact of the writing.

I like this story so far, even if it is kinda all over, but its hard to do that with single chapters... but i still love it and cant wait for the other stories.

I'm still fuzzy about everything that's going on so many plots and sub-plots. I'll continue for now maybe it will all make since sooner or later

Yes it is a bit hard to follow at times but the plots seem good and hey if you can do better write something, at least he is

I have read all chapters and now you've got me wondering what will happen next. You got some good editing advice, most of which I agree with. But the most important thing is that you have a great story line going here. Please continue soon!

I hope you are just wrestling with your muse and other life demands, and are not discouraged from writing further. I'd love to see where you will take this story.

recently and I really like it! I know its been a long time since you updated...and I'm really hoping you haven't given up on it! I really want to know what happens!

I keep hoping you will come back and add another chapter to this story. You've gotten me hooked, what happens to rosaline?

Such a Pity!

It’s a shame this author has been gone so long. I hope they’re okay and may even finish these stories someday.