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Click hereYasha dismissed them a final time as she looked for the button that said she was done. It appeared in a corner, and as Yasha pushed it, there was a click from the door as it was unlocked. She walked over to it and opened it to step out into another world. She appeared in some sort of dark basement, and she coughed as her appearance stirred up the dust. She was clothed now, in a long skirt with her heavy backpack filled with equipment she had bought waying her down. She could see perfectly well in the darkness, although the colors were a bit muted. She was in the middle of the room, and some sort of symbols had been drawn in a circle around where she had appeared. They glowed faintly, but were broken up as cracks had formed in the stone floor.
Yasha stepped gingerly out of the circle, half expecting something to happen. When nothing did, she sighed in relief. No one else was down there with her, and it looked like no one had been for a long time. Dust covered every surface, there were candles, but they didn't look like they had ever been lit. A dusty old tome lay on a table, but that was all the furniture there was. Before she continued up the rickety looking staircase, she wanted to try and disguise the fact that Yasha was a succubus in case she ran into anyone. She had no idea what she was doing. The only magic she was capable of was making her wings disappear. She tried that, reaching for that same feeling Yasha wished her horns and tail would go away for a bit.
She could feel something happening as a force exited her body to wrap itself around her horns and tail. They were still there. She could feel them, but they were covered in this something that had come from inside her. Yasha could only hope it hid them from the world as she made her way up the stairs. They creaked loudly as she made her way up. If no one knew she was here before, they sure would now. She peeked up above the lip of the stairs. It looked like she was in some sort of dilapidated church. Stained glass windows looked out at the starry night sky. Yasha quickly ducked down again as she saw shapes moving out there. She took another look. Shambling people were moving around in the graveyard outside. Now that she was listening for it, she could hear them moaning out there. Her eyes widened in fear, and her heart hammered in her chest as she realized what they were. She was in a fantasy world, alright, or the zombie apocalypse. Zombies, the little church was completely surrounded by zombies.
=So, what did you think? I wavered on if I should add statistics and a level-up system. But they are so overdone nowadays, and it gets very tiresome to keep track of every little number and percentage, at least for the author. Do you think I should have kept Yahsa's speculation about Kalvin possibly being possessed and maybe being reborn along with her? I thought it would make for good motivation as to why she would want to learn elemental fire magic, but in the end, she doesn't buy it anyway. Maybe it would have made fr a good mystery to reveal in the future, I don't know. Maybe Yasha learns fire magic in the future, or something else, and it does make her have to rely on other people, just like she did in her previous life. Is that compelling? I know not, but I hope you enjoyed the story.=
- COMMENTS
SirAliasover 1 year agoI think Levels and classes can be well done, but should be part of a narrative and fit better in the world. Yours... Doesn't. Scrap it for something with fewer numbers and a system that makes more sense.
Try something akin to The Wandering Inn for a softer level system, or Everybody Loves Large Chests for a harder one that has more numbers but keeps a serviceable role in the story.
Thrillherbrysonalmost 2 years agoI'm biased towards healing and shape shifting. I also find it reasonable for someone who has a run in with death and has died to want to be able to heal. I think a succubus should have the affinity to shape shift because it eliminates the gender dilemma she had. It eliminates many ultimatums she was confronted with like to wing or not. And I actually don't like the idea of her being able to dismiss the wings without the ability, although I'll admit it makes sense. Body Manipulation also helps with sex,
like that power you gave her to accommodate any size and for her to manually apply a tightness and even be creative, befitting her new nature. You can make appearing human somewhat taxing to her or make it so she has to revert to Demon form to cast all her magic (Illusions, enchantments, fire, etc.) Appearing human may also be convenient to who ever she travels with because it must not be easy to show up with a red demoness. Shape shifting can be used to escape and evade (flying or become smaller) and used to become physically strong for closer combat. This makes it so she still needs people, and she can be valuable to them as well and if she heals they can even need her. A healing succubus instead of a fire throwing one solves her good Demon problem. I love the milk added btw. Can't wait for chapter 2!
Mistresseagerplaythingalmost 2 years agoAuthorThat's a good point. I could lie and say that Yasha isn't much of a gamer, so she didn't think about it, but the truth is that I didn't think about it either. I thought of it too much in terms of being able to disguise her, I think is the problem. There is the fact that she didn't have any affinity for flesh magic. She would have had to learn to cast spells the hard way, whereas with illusion magic, it will be more instinctual. She would have had to find a teacher, although I suppose that would have been a good goal for her to have, and maybe she still will.
Some aspects of the litRPG genre I still like, but I still haven't really decided how much, if anything, I should implement. Maybe Yasha will come back to that little office at some point to buy more upgrades, maybe quests to gain points, maybe rewards from some sort of patron like a warlock type deal. Like I said, still not decided yet. Thanks for leaving a comment, don't really know if you can respond to comments on this site. @GlenOfGlass
GlenOfGlassalmost 2 years agoSo she chose built-in wings for 700 points over fleshcraft for 500 that could, with practice, allow for the creation of wings and more? Not what I would've chosen, but I'm biased towards healing skills.
I agree with leaving off the stat blocks. Usually in the beginning of LitRPG stories they have some impact as they go from say 8 strength to 10, but they rapidly become meaningless clutter. LitRPG as a genre often comes off as a shortcut for lazy author's not wanting to actually give gravitas to their descriptions. "How strong is that adversary? 5 whole stronks?! Impossible! I have only 3." But I know there are some numberphiles out there who get a real kick out of "+1 stronk". It's the same people enamored by games like Cookie Clicker. Mmm, number go up.
