Summer's Eve Pt. 05

"I hate sunscreen." Alex said glumly. "It's sticky and I don't like the smell."

"Stop being a baby." Erik said, nudging him in the ribs. "Just lets go and get our things."

They left the table and disappeared inside the house. Helena adjusted her sunglasses and looked to the sky. The clouds were not going anywhere, but the sun hidden behind them burned as hot as ever, blanketing the world with a warm, oppressive heaviness.

"I think there's going to be a storm." Maria said as if having read Helena's mind.

"What makes you think that?" Lars asked.

"I can feel it. Can't you? It's like there is something heavy in the air."

"I don't know. But now that you mention it, maybe... But I would not mind some rain to freshen everything up."

"If only it rained at night." Maria said. "Then the rest of the day could be warm and sunny. Would that not be something?"

"It sure would be great." Lars agreed, and then looked at Helena. "So you'll take the kids swimming then?"

"I guess so."

"Then maybe you should go get ready. I think they are going to get impatient otherwise."

"Maybe we can take them." Maria interjected.

"You don't have to." Helena said. "I can do it."

Maria laughed. "I know I don't and I know you can, but it would be nice. Me and Rasmus have been sitting around here at the cottage doing nothing for far too long."

"Oh, don't say that, mom." Lars said amusedly. "You've been busy constantly in the kitchen, with the house and everything."

"It's nothing. But it would be nice to go down to the lake for a change. I haven't been down there for much of the summer. What do you think, Rasmus? Rasmus, no smoking at the dinner table.

"Oh? Right." Lars' father grunted and quickly put down his pipe. "What I think?"

"Yes."

"It would be nice to go, I think."

"Of course it would."

"Do you think you can manage it?" Helena asked. "The boys can be a bit of a handful."

"Don't worry about that. I've raised four sons, and they were more than a handful." Maria reached out and pinched Lars cheek. "Weren't you, Lars?"

"I guess we were." he said, bravely enduring the ordeal without protest. "But if you want to take them, why not. Then me and Helena can start dealing with dinner. What do you say, love?"

Helena spotted Erik and Alexander coming out of the house, now dressed in their swimming trunks and armed with both towels and water pistols.

"Sure." she said. "I'll take the plates then so you can go get ready."

And so it was decided. A few minutes later, when Helena was busy washing up the bowls and spoons, Maria came into the kitchen to fill a bottle with water.

"Thanks." Helena said as she stepped aside to let her use the faucet. "For taking the boys. Truth be told I was not that eager to go swimming today."

"It's all my pleasure." Maria said. "And I thought that you and Lars need some privacy."

Helena looked at her in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Her mother-in-law's mouth curved into a sly smile. "You haven't been entirely quiet."

The realisation hit Helena like a dropped anvil and she felt her face immediately flush with red.

"Oh." she put a hand to her mouth. "Maria, I am so, so sorry."

"Don't you worry about it. I've been young too."

"Okay but... still, I am so very sorry."

Maria gave her one last, mischievous smile, screwed the lid onto the water bottle and left. Helena, meanwhile, was left to finish the dishes while loudly cursing herself. Last time she had felt this kind of embarrassment had been when she was a teenager and was busted in the act by unsuspecting parents. Face, meet palm. While drying the plates Helena heard the voices of her children and in-law parents grow quieter as they crossed the field into the forest. Then they were gone, and an unusual silence fell over the cottage. Helena bit her lip. The embarrassment was one thing - that she could live with - but there was one thing that kept bothering her.

If Lars' parents had heard him and Helena go at it in the night, could they have noticed her sneaking out?

The thought was horrifying. Despite the heat Helena felt a terrible cold inside her. She placed the dishes in the cupboard and washed her face with cold water. No, that could not be. She had been as quiet as humanely possible every time she snuck out. No one could have seen her leave or enter, it was just impossible. The only one who could have noticed her absence was Lars. But he - thank god - slept heavily. And if he had caught her then he surely would have confronted her about it.

It was better not to think about it all. Helena sighed into the towel she had used to dry of her face. What a day.

* * *

"Do you want something to drink?"

Lars looked up at Helena over the brim of his sunglasses. She questioningly held up the tray with the tall, ice-filled water glasses.

"Oh. Thanks." He had been laying down in the hammock sofa and reading one of his books in beneath the shade."Want to sit?"

After having sat up and taken a glass he inched to the side, making room on the cushion. Helena put the tray down in the grass and sat down next to him.

"What are you reading?" she asked, glancing at the book in Lars' lap.

"Oh this?" he flipped the book around with his free hand, casually inspecting the front. "Some sort of crime novel. Supposed to be, anyway. I have barely got started on it."

"Is it any good?"

"Don't know yet. What about yours?"

"You mean my book?"

"Yes. You were reading some sort of crime novel too, weren't you?"

"Oh." Helena made an unsure gesture with her hand. "I was but... I don't know."

"How come?"

"I haven't got into it yet. I was planning to read it over the summer... but I've been terrible at actually reading it. So I haven't gotten very far."

"It's all a matter of discipline. And now is the perfect moment for reading; everything is nice and quiet, and there is nothing else to do. Perfect."

"I get restless."

Lars chuckled. "Really?"

"Yeah." she said. "I have no discipline."

"Then you have to work on it."

"Probably."

They sat in silence, sipping cool water and watching the still surface of the pond. Some of the goldfishes appeared as reddish smudges, slowly moving in and out of view beneath the underwater plants. Helena let herself topple to the side and softly land her head on Lars' shoulder.

"What's up?" he asked, equally softly.

"Nothing." Her eyes were still fixed on the tranquil water. "Just... leaning."

This provoked another low chuckle from him. "Okay. Make yourself comfortable."

"I am. But your shoulder is a little hard."

"Oh really? Maybe we need to get you a pillow then?"

"No. I'm fine with your shoulder."

Helena took a deep breath and drew in the many smells and taste of the summer. Water, trees, grass, blossoming flowers. She could sense her husband's scent as well; familiar and reminiscent of home, topped off with a subtle tinge of sweat.

"How are you feeling?" he asked her.

"I'm okay. Why?"

"You're sighing."

"It's just a sigh."

"Helena, is something wrong?"

"Why would something be wrong?"

"Just a hunch. You seem a little down."

"Do I?"

"Yes." he looked at her, brows furrowed in concern. "Are you feeling alright?"

Helena chewed on the inside of her lip. No amount of rationalization could take away that searing sense of guilt.

"I'm fine." she said quietly. "Don't worry about me."

"Maybe it is the day-after-pill? It could cause some sort of mood swings, couldn't it? It might explain your mood."

For a moment Helena considered that possibility. Or pretended to, at least. She was quite certain that she was more than capable of fucking up her own life without needing help from some pills.

"It might be." she mumbled. "But I don't know."

"It might. Although that doesn't explain the rest of the week. Are you sure that everything is fine?"

Helena sat up, nearly tipping her glass over in the process. Mustering all her calm and confidence she looked her husband directly in the eyes. His eyebrows were still creased with concern when he faced her.

There was so much she wanted to say. A part of her desperately wanted to tell him everything, confess to what she had done and then beg him for forgiveness. She wanted to do it, and yet she was horrified by the thought. She needed to admit, but she couldn't. She just couldn't. The shame was hers and hers alone, and it would remain so for the rest of her life.

"I'm just fine." she said and smiled. "Don't worry about me. And if I seem like I've been feeling down, don't worry about it. It's not your fault anyway."

"Isn't that what women always say?" he asked. "It's usually a big warning sign."

He was always the comedian. Helena rolled her eyes. "Very funny. But I'm serious."

"But if you're feeling bad you should tell me."

Helena averted her eyes. She could feel him still looking at her. She bit her lip again.

"I want to go home."

"Why?"

"I love being here." Helena quickly added, just to avoid any possibility of a misunderstanding. "I always have. But I actually look forward to getting back home."

"Why?" he asked again. "Are you tired of relaxing?"

"Believe it or not, I am. Your mother takes too good care of us." she said with a somewhat nervous laugh. "I'm guess I'm just... restless. I need my structure, dammit!"

"Is it that bad?"

"Look -" she faced him again. "Don't worry about it, alright? I'm fine."

She leaned forward and kissed him on the tip of the nose for emphasis. This time her glass tipped over, immediately drenching the cushion and Lars' leg in cold water.

"Shit."

"Since when did you begin swearing like that?" he asked amusedly as he inspected the dark stain. "And it's only water."

"I know, but it's just so stupid - I was thinking all the time about how I was going to be careful not to spill. Sorry."

He laughed lightly and the sound made Helena feel a little better. Right now she could not bear to see him anywhere near unhappy. Lars drank the remainder of his water and put down the empty glass next to Helena's on the tray. She moved herself closer to him, once again leaning her head against his shoulder. He did not mind. They had been married for more than ten years now. A whole decade. It was crazy to think about how long that was, and how quickly time passes. When Helena felt his hand on her shoulder she closed her eyes.

Love - as everything else in the world - passes. Sometimes it burns itself out quickly. It can also fade slowly over the course of many years. The bitter truth is that for many people love eventually disappears. It can transform into companionship and friendship, but it can also turn into something unrecognizable, something that neither of the two former lovers can understand or care for. But Helena loved. No matter what she had done and what she was going to do tonight, she still loved her husband, no matter how hollow and false the notion sounded. She loved him. It was no longer as burning and passionate as it once had been, but she cared for him very, very deeply. Nothing could take that away from her. He was the father of her children, and that, if nothing else, had to count for something.

"I love you, you know that?" she muttered as she nuzzled his shoulder.

"Ditto."

"Isn't that a quote from some movie about ghosts?"

"Is it?"

"I think so."

"So?"

"Nothing." Helena's hand wander across his chin. "Did you shave?"

"Yes?" He rubbed his cheek. "Do you like it?"

"You know I like it."

"I thought it was time to get rid of the stubble. I don't think I will be able to grow a beard anyway."

"And thank god for that. Beards are gross."

"But it's all the rage among the trendy young folks right now."

"And?"

"Are you calling me old?"

"Old or not - no beards. I won't allow it."

He sighed theatrically. "If it pleases you I'll oblige."

"It really would please me."

"Then I'll do as you ask, love."

She kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks."

"Anything for you. By the way, did you check on the meat? Has it thawed yet?"

"I did. It's not ready yet."

"I should still get the grill going." Lars said. "Last time it took an hour to even get a good flame going in that rusty piece of junk. And when the others come back they are bound to be hungry, so the sooner I get coal bed ready, the better."

"Are you sure?" Helena asked. "There is no rush yet. They won't be back for a while."

"They will be back sooner or later."

"There is no rush." she said and put her arms around his shoulders. "We were getting so cosy here."

He looked at her curiously but relented, remaining where he sat. Helena let did not move her hands from him, and instead clasped them at his neck. She kissed him again, softly pressing her lips against his now smooth cheek. It was so much better than itchy, hard stubble.

"A bit touchy feely, are we?"

"A little." she admitted. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"Not at all."

"Good." Helena kissed him again. "Because I am feeling touchy feely."

She let her hand slowly wander down his chest; slowly and meanderingly across his shirt, as if at random, and yet with one clear goal in mind. Lars smirked when Helena's hand finally ended its journey upon his crotch.

"Well what has gotten into you?" he asked.

"Nothing special." she said quietly, her fingers slowly squeezing his cock through the rough fabric of his shorts. A low but content growl came from him, and Helena pressed onwards. Pressing another kiss against his lips she slipped her hand inside his shorts. Her fingers closed around him and gave his shaft a gentle squeeze. He was not hard yet, but he was no longer limp, either. There was definitively something stirring. Lars sighed.

"You're sighing." Helena teased him.

"Just a bit surprised." he answered. "Well then. Should I carry you inside?"

"Why?"

"You mean you want to do it here?"

Now there was real surprise in his voice. Helena's hand slowly drew the skin of his cock back, and her thumb felt the smooth surface of the head poke out from under the foreskin.

"Why not?" Helena asked. "Carrying me would be very romantic, but I don't see the point in going inside. Have you been in our room? It's impossible to breathe in there, and the window has been open since morning."

"But out here..?"

"There is no one here but us." she secretively muttered. "You said yourself that everything is quiet."

"What about the neighbours?" he asked, but now he sounded thoughtful rather than concerned. The sensation of his cock growing in her hand only served to encourage Helena.

"We don't have to be that loud... and who is crazy enough to be bothering with what their neighbours in this kind of weather? Everyone is probably taking a siesta.

"I don't know..."

"Such a prude you are."

Now he laughed. "Alright. If you are in that kind of mood we can do it here. But after that I'll have to get the grill going."

"You are such a responsible man, Lars." Helena said smilingly.

"I sure am. You have the condoms, right?"

Helena did not answer him. She withdrew her hand from his shorts, but instead of getting up and walking back to the house she slipped down on her knees in front of him. The grass tickled her bare legs. Still wordlessly she unbuttoned Lars' shorts and pulled down the fly, and then let both her hands slip inside. He was silent, but clearly intrigued, his eyes fixated on her movements. Helena felt her mouth water, as if it was already preparing itself. She nudged at his underwear, and Lars raised himself a little from the cushion to help her pull them down together with the shorts. Helena saw him glance around at the surrounding hedges. She too was worried, but not as much as she thought she would have been. It had been embarrassing that Maria had heard them, but the risk itself was not entirely unpleasant. It was, in fact, exciting. But now the only thing that mattered to Helena was the man she loved.

Lars' cock sprung forth from the boxers. It was almost completely rigid now, but blood was still filling it with each heartbeat, making it grow a little larger. Helena wrapped her hand about it and pulled it up and down along the shaft. The skin was smooth, warm and soft, and she felt the beating pulse beneath it. Helena leaned forward and breathed at the tip. The pinkish head was exposed and shiny. Lars quietly exhaled as she took it in her mouth. Helena moved her, taking more of him in. Her lips, cheeks and tongue engulfed it from all sides, welcoming it into a warm, wet embrace.

Helena had never liked blowjobs. It was not that she hated it or was disgusted by it, she just did not find the notion appealing. She could give them, but it had always been for the benefit of her partner, be it back when she was still dating or during her marriage. Lars had never pressed her, and she had rarely suggested it. But now... she liked it. Something over the course of the insane past few days had clicked in her head. Or maybe she had simply matured and her preference had changed. Like when you learn to enjoy food you hated when you were a kid. If you can compare sucking cock to eating spinach, that was.

Helena let Lars out of her mouth. Rock hard it slipped out between her lips and stood, shiny and wet, pointing straight at her forehead.

"Do you like it?"

"Yes." Lars mumbled, softly caressing her cheek. "I am... pleasantly surprised."

"Good." Helena said and once again brought him to her mouth. "Because I am not done yet."

She engulfed his cock again, taking him deeper and deeper until her lips pressed against her hand which held him by the root. Then she withdrew. The spit-covered cock slid out of her mouth until only the tip was left inside her puckered lips. It came free with an audible pop, and Helena felt a wet string of spit fall on her chin. She let her tongue tease the sensitive area around the cock slit, thus causing another strained breath from Lars. It made her happy. If she could give him pleasure she would do so. He deserved that and so much more. She swirled her tongue over the engorged cockhead, along the smooth dome and down to ridge and valley where it connected to his shaft. Helena's hand kept running up and down his cock, alternating between squeezing and gentle strokes. Lars touched her cheek again and she paused, taking his hand in hers and kissing his palm and fingers.

She loved him. Nothing would change that. When this bizarre summer was over she would change for the better. She would be a better wife and a better mother. A better woman. Helena promised herself that as she delicately kissed her husband's hand, pressing her face against his palm. The rest of her life she would strive to make up for what she had done.

More blowjobs would be only the beginning.

Helena guided his cock inside again, wrapping her lips around it like it was a lollipop. She searched for his eyes. His was a fine, warm shade of brown. It felt strange to keep eye contact like this as her mouth bobbed up and down over his dick. In the past she had always kept her eyes closed or looked down. Now it was easier, but after a few seconds had passed she giggled.

"What?" he asked, but he too was grinning.

"Nothing." Helena said, momentarily withdrawing to wipe her mouth. To discourage any more questions she sucked him in once more. His gasp was a reward like no other.

He was getting close now. Cupping her hand around his balls she could feel them slowly tightening. Lars' breath was getting quicker, more laboured, and the muscles in his lower stomach tensed. He leaned forward, placing a hand over the one Helena gripped his cock with.

"Stop." he exhaled. "I'm coming. I..."

His dick wetly popped out of her mouth, already jerking and pulsating. It was too late to delay his orgasm. A string of shot out from the tip, plastering itself over Helena's chin. A second jerk and a second wave came, running and dribbling down the cockhead and shaft. Instead of letting go Helena leaned forward and almost forcibly pushed it into her mouth, closing her lips around the swelling cock in an airtight seal. Salty cum pooled on her tongue, and she pressed it against the cockhead as Lars' spent himself. He was frozen in motion, still leaning forward and one hand still on Helena's.