All Comments on 'Suprise Intruder'

by ShannonK

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3 Comments

tying_lulu about 13 years ago

hot

Yeah, this is pretty good. I LOVE the ending :)

muncher354 over 5 years ago

Nope

Don't write in second person

Anonymous9 months ago

Ignore any and all negative opinions, you will never satisfy everyone. I might suggest that you be more detailed and descriptive. Not at all a bad effort for a first effort. The paragraph which begins with "Taking both hands..." is a little confusing.

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