All Comments on 'Surprise Party with Friends'

Wonderful story of mature couples enjoying--no drama---just fun----more ???

Jen's party should be something else.

I am disturbed by this so very.... wholesome... kink.

I usually drop by a bit of delicious corruption, but this couple is so cool, so calm under social pressure, so free of preconceptions and baggage... that I absolutely love them!

⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️

Fun story, needs proofreader/editor. - -

- "cumming", not "cunning".

- unannounced jumps of return to Dan as narrator

- "u" in place of "you", which itself is wrong, should be "Dan"

- " god friend" - Honestly!!

- "I'm usually quiet loud" (what does that mean? )

- "her and Kacy got undressed". Really? "She..."

Respecting your audience requires caring enough to proofread. The "lit" of literotica means Literature, not spew, who cares?, but your pen name suggests "I don't give a fuck."

You've got Big turn-ons in this hot story that virtually every reader wishes they'd experienced - make no mistake, it is super hot and (I wish...) believable. But the lack of scrupulous editing is only acceptable for tla reader drunk enough to not care a whit.

Please keep writing and sharing -- just edit more. Still giving 5 stars, because hot story, good intentions and effort.

It would have been much easier to read if written in much shorter paragraphs.