Sweet as Sugar Ch. 04

He announced himself and the fellow executives of their board, including my grandfather, before going into the regular pronouncement, "... Like many of you who have had loved ones affected by issues of the heart, stroke, high blood pressure, and the other diseases involving such issues, we understand the importance of raising money for these causes. Events such as this celebrate and enhance the fundraising efforts that help with research on these issues. Please, enjoy yourselves, but please also remember why we are here. Remember to involve yourself, be generous with your time, talents, and resources for the cause... Well, that's all for now. Enjoy the party."

Big, sitting two seats to my left leaned towards me, "You know son. You are going to have to get up there and make that speech one day. I've already told the board that you will be taking my position... and Jim you must follow through on that. It is important to me."

I didn't care for such obligations. He had previously made all of this clear so many times in the past and he had me involved in so many endeavors already, but it was important to Big, so it was important to me and the rest of the family. "Yes sir," I nodded affirmatively, "I gotcha." When I affirmed his requests it always gave him a big smile and he would nod back affirmatively in his contentment.

My career was more than full time and all of this volunteering was like another job. I needed to have time to myself. When I accepted my role in the family, following in my grandfather's footsteps, I never knew the energy it would take. Sometimes it left me exhausted and wanting out, but I did everything I could to keep that to myself.

I looked away and noticed Jill and Ashley chatting it up about something and giggling. I was curious but decided that it was none of my business. The one thing that I did enjoy about growing older was that I had lost many of my nervous inhibitions through the years. The situations I had been put through gave me confidence, so if I wanted to look at a beautiful woman, I did so without feeling uneasy about it.

I grinned as my eyes took note of my sister's physical charm. Her full bosom was showcased by the satin ensemble she was displaying. There was that female magnetism that had me melting like butter. I continued enjoying my drink, which had watered down as the ice melted in it. The buzz from earlier had certainly faded and I wanted to restoke it. Luckily, I had brought a little stash with me and I would disappear in a bit to catch a little buzz.

Jill turned towards me, "Jim, why don't you go dance with your sister?" She turned towards Ashley and smiled, "No offense, but I don't want you sitting here at the table like a wallflower all night."

I stood understanding that this was not a question, but a command. Ashley gave Jill a quirky look as I accepted her hand and Jill insisted, "Go on... scoot... I'll be fine. You need to go dance." We smiled at my wife and headed to the dance floor.

It was impossible not to notice guys giving my sister a lingering once over as we passed by. When we stepped onto the dance floor a neat little Jazz instrumental was ending as we began to dance. Ash's allure had me focusing on her completely as the lady vocalist stepped to the microphone and began singing the Righteous Brother's 'Unchained Melody.' The lady was amazing as she began softly while we slowly swayed hand-in-hand. Ash's eyes gazed deeply into my own as the tone of the melody slowly rose until the male artist joined in and they ended with a bellowing finish, which had caused tears to well up in our eyes.

Once again we were in the situation that we had found ourselves in years before where we couldn't fully display our affection for one another. The next thing I knew the songstress was singing the more uptempo hit "Magic" by Olivia Newton-John and it hit me that that is who she reminded me of. The song certainly reinforced the sense of this moment. Our tears turned to smiles with the ethereal feeling that our chemistry was most certainly magic. This excellent band and having Ashley here brought back so much that had been missing while attending the Heart Ball over the years.

Ash and I couldn't help but dance closer while the Big Band moved onto Simply Red's 'Holding back the Years,' It gave me the chance to ask, "You sure were quiet when you two got here."

"Yeah, I know Jimmy. I'm quite nervous," she admitted.

"I completely understand... I know it's hard," I continued. "I'll tell you. I'm glad you're here."

"Yeah, I'm glad to be here," she whispered in my ear. "I'm still a bit nervous though."

"Did you girls have a good time in the mountains?" I asked.

She couldn't help bursting out laughing, "I knew you'd ask. We had a fabulous time. It was a blast. We really cleared the air."

(Jim) -- "What exactly was there to clear the air about?"

(Ashley) --"Maybe we'll talk about it later."

All of the sudden the bass started thumpin' as the old funky song "Word Up" by Cameo was performed and chaos ensued on the dance floor. It was so loud and pulsing you couldn't think, so you may as well dance. There was a good time being had by all.

The craziness ended and the band went into an instrumental intro to Vanessa Williams' song 'Love Is,' I leaned forward and spoke in Ash's ear as the music surrounded us, "You girls are most certainly gorgeous tonight. I feel so greedy. You're both my Valentine's tonight. You know no one can ever replace you Ash... no one." I shook my head to the negative. "You are my Valentine... you have my heart... always have." I declared staring deeply into her icy blue eyes. Dancing a few more steps, I continued speaking softly, a virtual whisper sufficed. Certainly, I didn't want to create a spectacle, "I keep thinking back to all those years ago... how much I love you. I never got over you."

As we continued to dance closely, Ash's words were reserved and broken as she replied, "Ohh Jimmy, I know. Why do you think I came back. I came back to be near you. I missed you so much... Life's empty without you... We'll talk about it... Not here... We'll talk... I want to say so much."

We danced until the song ended and the band went into recess. I held Ash's hand knowing how much she loved me and wanted to be with me. Words were meaningless. Nothing needed to be said. How would we figure all of this out? Yes. We needed to talk, but this wasn't the place. I knew the perfect place. "Hey, follow me," I pulled her and we headed off the dance floor and out of the ballroom.

I certainly hoped no prying eyes would take note as we slipped away surreptitiously. We headed back down the familiar halls side-by-side until we turned right and I looked towards my sister whose curiosity had vanished. We were at the door of the Board of Director's meeting room. I reached for the doorknob, but Ash reached out to stop me, "What are you doing? I don't want to go in there."

"Why not?" I asked as I opened the door and stepped inside pulling Ash with me. The place hadn't changed a bit in all these years. I had found my comfort in this room because I had been in here so many times throughout the years, but I understood my sister's trepidation. This is where we had been confronted about our indiscretions all those years ago. "Come on, Sometimes you have to face down your demons."

Ash contorted her head and followed as I went over to the family's lockbox. "We can talk in here." I let her know, The room was eerily quiet in comparison to what was happening just a couple hundred feet away.

"I know Jimmy, but this just brings that night back," she sadly stated.

I completely understood her concern. My sympathy caused me to move forward and kiss her cheek, "I completely understand, but I had to let go of that years ago. You can't run away from it." She nodded. "Every time I enter this room I think about that night and how Big summonsed me here. I can still picture you being ushered into the room." A tear slowly trickled from Ashley's eye.

"Oh, God Ashley. Don't start crying." I reached for my handkerchief and lightly dabbed her eye. "You ever had any Cognac?" I asked.

"No," she whimpered.

We were standing at the familiar antique chest of drawers sitting in the corner of the room. I pulled out my keys and unlocked one of the top drawers, which was one of our family's hidden lockboxes in the room. That privilege came with how much money we had put into the place. There were different glasses in the compartment and a few bottles of expensive spirits. I reached for a couple of snifters and poured the Frapin Cognac, handing one to Ash, "Here, Big owes us this after all of that drama."

"We deserved what we got Jimmy," she smirked.

I nodded, "Maybe... I don't know." I shook my head as we simultaneously sipped our drinks. I reached into the inside pocket of my jacket and pulled out my cigarette case.

Ash shook her head knowing what it was, "Jim, we can't do that in here."

I opened it and pulled out a joint, "We'll step back by the door. No one will know." I don't think Ash agreed with me, but she went ahead and followed me to the door anyway. I fired up the joint and we puffed on it a few times before I snuffed it out. I reached in my coat pocket and grabbed the Altoids. Not a word was said, but Ash beamed a smile as she took a couple and placed them in her mouth.

Ash let me know, "I know you really love Jill too. I can see in your eyes that you truly love her and she adores you."

We were all alone, but we needed to head back out to the party. I continued to look at Ashley, "You know I will always be sorry for what I did to you. It's all my fault... and I'm so very sorry."

Ash stared deeply through my eyes, "Jimmy, I think what happened was inevitable. It was going to happen sooner or later... I've always been in love with you. I always had the hots for you. I always wanted to tell you... The first time I thought about sex it was you. I always wanted to tell you. I always wanted to be with you. I always wanted to say that. I just didn't know how."

"Ashley, You were who I wanted to be with the rest of my life... It's hard when you aren't around... things are too complicated now, but that's the truth. If I had to choose just one it would be you, but I do love Jill. I truly love her and I never want to hurt her."

Ashley smiled with her moist eyes, "Jimmy, I know that... I've always known that... and believe me, Jill knows that... And I don't want anyone or anybody or anything to hurt Jill either. I love her too. She is my family. I truly love her too.

She came forward and embraced me, "We couldn't have made it on our own. We actually needed all of these people. We can't go out here and hurt these people that love us. We have to find a way to make all of this work and you will always have my love," a lingering kiss ensued.

We stared at one another knowingly, silently acknowledging it was time to leave the boardroom and head back to the ballroom. I was confident about who I was, Nothing we talked about changed anything. If anything it reaffirmed the situation. I was glad to have a good buzz going. I didn't feel bad, but I wasn't completely sure about how Ashley felt about our predicament. We were both playing it cool as we headed down the halls.

It was getting close to 9:30pm when we got to the bar. The young bartender Zach asked what we'd like and of course, Ash had Champagne and I had another Bourbon and Ginger. Zach was probably getting close to 30. He'd become one of my go-to guys since Old Man Walter had semi-retired about 5 years ago. Zach had worked at the club since he was in high school. He was only a few years younger than me, I'd gone to high school with his older brother.

Ash continued while I stayed back to chat with Zach for a minute. "You having a good time Jim?" Zach always called me by my first name, because of our relationship. He was polishing some glasses and stacking them behind the bar as he talked.

"Oh yeah. You can't help but enjoy a night like this," I was sort of lying. "Are you doing alright? I know they keep you busy."

He smiled, "Oh yeah... busy, busy, busy, but I enjoy it. I like working here, especially bartending."

"Good to hear... you ever need anything you've got my number... Here..." I handed him a twenty-dollar bill and continued towards the ballroom.

"Thanks, Jim. See ya later. You have a good night," he was smiling as I walked away.

A few seconds later I reentered the main event room where the lights were dimmed, but the hustle and bustle was going hot and heavy. I walked towards the table as my mother cut me off at the pass. "Jim, where have you been?"

"Just stepped out for a bit to get some air, why?"

"Well, I was looking for you" she replied curtly. "You knew Mother and Daddy weren't going to be able to stay." She was talking about Big and Gramms of course.

"Did they leave already?"

"Yes..." she emphasized, "They said it was no big deal, but you know it's a big deal."

"I know... I'm sorry. I'll make it up to them," I tried to reassure her.

"You were tramping off with your sister again." She continued with her expressive tone.

"Yea," I nodded emphatically. "You know she is very nervous about being here."

"So it's your job to protect her?"

"Well yes, mother. Yes, it is! Do you have a problem with that?"

"Dammit, Jim. I thought all of this was settled long ago. I thought all of this was water under the bridge."

I gave her that all-knowing look as I stared at her intently, "And I thought I told you all those years ago to mind your own business,"

"OK, but your wife is out there dancing with some guy,"

"Is that a big deal or something?" I shook my head and laughed her off.

She gave me a wide-eyed look, "Maybe... You did leave her by herself for a while."

I shook my head feeling exasperated and headed to the family table. Joe was sitting there "Hey Joe, you giving a good time?"

"Oh yeah... sorry about your mother," he continued in an understanding tenor. "I know how worked up she can get."

I nodded in agreement, "It's no biggie. I learned how to blow it off a long time ago."

Joe insisted, "Jim. You know I love your Mother, but I also know how she can be when she gets stuck on something."

"OK...Well..." I tilted my head with my mind focused on something else. Looking towards Ashley who was sitting at her seat, "Mama said Jill's out on the dance floor. You want to go help me find her?"

Ash got up and we headed towards the crowded dance floor. Like I said, I had a good positive buzz going even if my mother had disturbed it. A few people greeted me along the way and I'd do a simple curtsy, but we continued until we were there. As we approached the floor Ash gave me a shocked look and said, "Oh my god."

"What?" I asked not knowing what she meant.

Ashley and I began to dance and Ashley maneuvered us until we had ended up over toward where Jill was dancing with (what?). It was David. The guy that Ashley had dated all those years ago. It pissed me off. Now I knew why Ash had said "Oh my God" and now I knew what my mother was hinting at. It was the 10,000-pound elephant in the room. No one wanted to say it out loud.

Ashley had led me in that direction without me realizing it. Ash gave me the little body language nod and passed me off towards my wife, as I asked David, "I hope you don't mind me cutting in." David handed Jill over as David offered Ash a hand and then they disappeared off towards the background.

Jill and I danced quietly. As we continued to dance, I didn't want Jill to know I was jealous, so I attempted to play it off. I guess I wasn't looking her in the eye, which I suppose she noticed something as she asked. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why?" I responded nonchalantly.

"I'm glad you stepped in," Jill volunteered, "There's something about that guy that made me feel a little uncomfortable... How do you know him anyway?"

"It's a long story. Did he say anything" I looked away? I think she had a feeling that it had something to do with my masculine ego, but I wasn't going to tell her that he had a thing with my sister all those years ago and she almost knew him.

She volunteered, "Yeah, well he was a little too close for my liking when we were dancing... he said he knew you and he couldn't believe that you'd leave me alone."

We continued to sway, "You seemed comfortable to me," I mentioned it matter of factly.

"That's what we women do when we have to," she assured me.

"I'll gladly go kick his ass if you want me to."

"No Darling... he said he knew you and Ashley and saw me sitting at the table alone and he asked if I'd care to dance."

As we danced, I recalled how excited I used to get dancing with the ladies. When I'd be belly-to-belly with them my cock would come alive. Now, I didn't get quite that kind of physical stimulation, but I still enjoyed it. I was definitely older and more mature. I guess I was better at taming my inner beast. I was still excited by Jill's familiar essence wafting through my nostrils. Sometimes it still gave me goosebumps, which would make me shiver.

Ash was nowhere in sight as we danced in the middle of the crowd while the band went on with some instrumental solos. Finally, the lovely female vocalist stepped up to the mic and started singing "Nobody Does it Better" while Jill and I held one another tight and gently swayed in the lovely embrace.

The songstress turned to the crooner who joined her at the mics and they started singing 'The Closer I get to you.' We continued swaying as Jill once again dropped her head to my shoulder. My buzz had me closing my eyes and meditating in the moment.

Finally, the set ended with a duet singing 'Do that to me one more Time' by Captain and Tennille. I led Jill off the dance floor and back to the table. It was past 10pm and we'd be leaving before long. I had no idea how the night would end, I'd just go with the flow and we'd be heading home soon.

The server came and delivered a few more drinks as Jill, Ashley, and I sat quietly. I knew that we all had a lot on our minds and we weren't going to fully express ourselves in this setting.

I thought about that time years ago, that night that we'd all never forget for so many unspoken reasons, Jill and I had exited the dance floor and found a private setting. I kissed her fully and pulled the ring box out of my blazer. Jill's eyes grew so big, she was so shocked, as I opened it and asked for her hand. And there was that ring still sitting on her finger all these years later. It nestled perfectly with the wedding ring that eventually accompanied it. Yeah, I could never give her up.

Big had made such a production out of it and it was embarrassing, but I had to play along. And I know it had to kill Ashley. She soon disappeared that night, never to return to this event until tonight. I was so proud of her. She was back in my life, maybe too much, but we both had learned to deal with our issues. I'm not saying she wasn't tough back then, because she was, but she was a stronger woman now.

-

I was looking around the room, checking out the scene. I don't know why I hadn't noticed, I guess I had been focused on other things, but one of my clients was sitting with his son across the room, "Ash, will you excuse us. I want to introduce Jill to one of my best new clients."

We walked over to the table where Aaron Philips, his fiancee, and his son were sitting. Aaron noticed as we approached, "Hey Jim," he greeted us with a smile.

"Aaron, I just noticed you sitting over here and wanted to introduce you to my wife Jill... Jill this is Aaron Philips. He and his son moved here a while back... a couple of years ago."

"Nice to meet you, Aaron," Jill smiled and reached out to shake his hand.

"Jill's an attorney too," I chimed in.