All Comments on 'Tab: The Beginning'

Can't decide whether I find the story horrible or just plain boring. Apart from the lack of imagination (read this kind of story a thousand times before), the writing style is horrible. Or rather: there's no style at all. It's like looking at photos: he does this, now that, then this...

The persons just perform; they have no thoughts (except from "let's fuck"), no feelings, no character at all. That's not what I consider a real story, it's more like a script.

I'm sorry, dude, I don't mean to discourage you. Just consider my critique for your next work.

"she was experiencing the unfamiliar pressure of a cock in her gut for the first time as his cock plunged into her cunt to the hilt."

If she was being raped her pussy would not be ready and the only thing she would feel is pain. The muscles of the pussy open and pull the insides up. She would also be dry, sexual excitement makes a woman secrete natural lubrication, a dry pussy is painful. So with 2 painful elements (muscles not ready and dry pussy) and added that the hymen would be ripped (lets put it like this - would you like your foreskin ripped?). Rape is not pleasurable no matter what any man thinks, it is degrading to the point that women find it hard to ever trust men (especially if her virginity is ripped from her by 9 delinquents)

Rape is a horrible, heinous violation of both the mind and body. People do not suffer through it and then go on to live out the rest of their lives happily ever after. It can take months, if not years, for a person to recover from such a trauma – if they ever do at all. They struggle with the shame and humiliation of their body being used against them.

I don't understand how men can be so caviler over such a damaging situation.

Enough of my rant over your total lack of portrayal of emotion and the reality of what you did to your character.

Your writing style is terrible, like the previous commenter - it's like taking snap shot's; he did this, then that and all with no emotion even when saying "Lets fuck her", it lacked every emotion and I found it dull and really annoying. Pick your game up and add these bits in.

You are one of the best writers on this sight...….