All Comments on 'Taken by Surprise'

Too much for me. I semsed pain not pleasure. for me.

You have alot of internalized homophobia if you're using such slurs like 'faggot' and 'fag'. One star just for that, there are was to portray a feminine side to a man without devolving to the use of bigotry and slurs.

Sad and abusive story.

ecellent still keeping me hard ,thanks

Clearly, “haters are going to hate.” I read the comments and I am reminded of what my parents taught me: if you don’t have any thing nice to say, don’t say it. What I have learned is that means is do not let any unwholesome words come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful in building others up according to their needs that it may benefit any who will listen. I don’t think Breaker_of_chains actually read the story otherwise Beaker_of_chains would have understood the the use of “faggot” in context of the story is self-degradation by a protagonist who appears to have a humiliation fetish and not that of an internalized homophobic author. What the author intends and the reader hears are subject to bias. Don’t let the bias of someone who is triggered by the words you use discourage you. Given the proclivity of the protagonist to perform homosexual acts, I sincerely think that the author is in no way homophobic; that is, it seems to me that is no irrational fear of homosexual acts on behalf of the author.

If this is your fantasy, keep writing. Acting on such fantasies would be, as Anonymous says, sad and abusive. Writing gets internal thoughts out providing an outlet for otherwise self destructive behavior if acted upon.

With that out of the way, your writing ability is excellent. The story had a decent flow with sufficient details and varied length of paragraphs to keep reader interest. While not specifically looking for grammatical errors, none jumped out at me as read the story. The end moved a little too quickly into darker degradation of the protagonist. The story would benefit by having better character development of the protagonist. So a way to improve the story in that regard would be to insert flashback sessions with Mistress D to have a progression of the protagonist going from heterosexual family man to full out craving to be used by Mistress D. Alternatively, you could lengthen the end with additional sessions with Mistress D to develop that relationship and build longing and excitement for the protagonist to want to have the piercings and perhaps not all at once.