Taking the Pill

Those pills were something underground. If I waited, could I even be sure of getting one if I wanted to change back later? I didn't like Rafe's terms of letting him fuck me in order to get the pill. I checked around and could not find one of those anywhere else. I figured I should have one available in case things didn't work out with Olivia. I called Rafe to see about getting one from him.

"Well, Nikki, it took you long enough to get back with me."

"I got tied up with work and other things."

"I knew I should have gotten that cunt of yours right after you changed."

"I don't want to let you fuck me."

"You ain't getting a pill if you don't."

"What if I pay extra?"

"You will anyhow. Sources are drying up. It'll cost you two bills instead of one."

"So if I give you two thousand, I don't have to fuck you?"

"No you fuck me anyhow, and since I had to wait, I want mouth, ass, and pussy."

"That wasn't the deal."

"That deal is gone. This is the new deal. Take it or stay the way you are."

"You suck."

"No Nikki, doll, you're going to suck -- my cock, that is."

"I have to think about it."

"No -- either get that ass to my place at 7 o'clock or even that deal goes away."

"But -- uh -- I'm having my period."

"Bullshit. It's been five weeks. Your period is over. Have your ass here at seven or you get nothing."

"But it was late."

"Then I'll fuck you while you're bleeding. You can suck your blood off my cock after I fuck you."

Rafe hung up on me. I hated it, and hated Rafe, but if I wanted to get one of those pills, I didn't see much choice. Sure I could tell Rafe to fuck himself, then call Olivia and tell her I decided to stay a woman and wanted to be with her. Still, if that fell apart, I'd be stuck as a woman and without Olivia. That seemed like the worst of both worlds. I wanted to option to change back.

I cried for a while, then wondered what had happened to me. If I was really male, why was I crying like that? It honestly scared me and made me think I really should change back. I felt screwed no matter what I did. I pulled myself together and tried to clean up, not that I cared about looking nice for Rafe. I was half tempted to look as nasty as possible, but then he might not sell me the pill.

I put on a nice pair of jeans, along with bra, panties and a cute top. I had no intention of dressing sexy for this, but didn't want to look like a street person either. I knew his place was about fifteen minutes away. I shouldn't really be late, but didn't want to be early either. No reason to give him any extra time to use me.

I pulled up at his place at about ten till seven. I sat in my car, taking deep breaths and trying to compose myself. At seven, I got out of my car and began to walk toward his apartment building when I ran into a swarm of police who got to Rafe's apartment before I did. I stood back and watched in horror as they dragged Rafe from his place in handcuffs.

Rafe saw me and glared at me and I could see him mouthing profanities, even if I couldn't hear him. There was another guy who was also taken from the apartment in cuffs. The police took a bunch of things from the apartment. As I stood there aghast at what was happening, a police officer came up to me.

"Do you live here, miss?"

"No, I was coming to visit a friend."

"I suggest you visit your friend some other time and move on."

"What's going on?"

"Drug bust. We're going to lock this bastard up for a long time."

"Oh my god."

"If you were coming here to buy drugs, I suggest you forget it and leave immediately."

I went back to my car, sat down, and just shook for several minutes. If I had been any earlier, I'd have been right in the middle of the bust and might have been arrested myself. As I later found out, someone had tipped the police about drug activity and they found he was going to make a sale and raided him when they felt sure they could nail him.

They confiscated his entire inventory and held him without bail. I heard later through other sources that he felt I had squealed on him, though I had not. I might have considered it after I'd gotten what I wanted, but certainly not before. I no longer had options. Even if anyone else had those pills, they'd never have dealt with me after Rafe was arrested.

.........................................................................................

I sat for a day or two after that before I called Olivia. If I was going to stay a woman, then I wanted to be with her, if she'd have me. I didn't want her to think I was only interested in her because I couldn't change back. Sure I wanted to be with her and not being able to return to being male played a part in that. It was desire though, and not desperation. We met at her place.

"I wondered when I'd hear from you."

"I wanted to give it some serious thought first."

"You can't get those drugs now."

"Not here, anyhow."

"So, since you're stuck this way, you'll settle for me."

"It was never a matter of settling for you."

"Easy to say."

"I cared for you. I just wasn't sure how deeply you cared for me."

"Shucking and jiving."

"No, for you I was willing to be a woman. I just wanted options in case you didn't feel as deeply as I did."

"So now, you have no other options."

"I care for you. I want to be with you. It might even be love. But if you don't want me, I'll be sad, but I will find another woman."

"What happens when you can find those drugs? Eventually they'll surface again."

"If I were really desperate, there are places overseas where I think I could get them."

"Maybe you should."

"I don't want to. I want to have you back, if you'll have me."

"Are you certain?"

I took her in my arms and kissed her. She didn't return my kiss immediately, but before long was kissing me as well. We sat kissing and touching for the longest time, before she got up, took my hand and led me into her bedroom. We made love until we were quite exhausted, then fell asleep in each other's arms as we had a number of times before.

I legally changed my name to Nikki, and changed the gender on all my docs to female, then let my place go and moved in with Olivia. Before too long we had applied for a marriage license. She wants us both in dresses when we marry, but I can manage a dress for a few hours anyhow. We've both returned to work and have been moved to separate departments so they don't have a couple both working together.

My mother has met Olivia and seems happy for us. My father is gone and I have no siblings, just a few cousins who I'm not close to. I've met Olivia's parents and they like me and seem happy for us.

I figured on being a woman briefly, as a lark. I never expected to end up this way. I'm not sorry, and if I had it to do over again, I certainly would do it and perhaps even earlier.