Taming a Brat

Once alone, the days events hit me head on. Everything that has transpired flashed through my minds eye like a movie. I decided I needed a hot shower and undressed, staring at my bruised and battered body in the mirror. No bruises on my face of course, that would be too obvious. Instead, Thomas hurt me where people couldn't immediately see. My upper arms were blue and purple, my chest and back striped red and blue. I got into the shower and sat on the ground under the steaming water, crying my eyes out.

Sleep didn't come easy, despite my exhaustion. I couldn't shut my brain off. So, I decided to go for a walk through the hotel. I ended up outside, lit a cigarette I had hidden in my closet bag. I walked up and down the drive to the hotel. A couple drunk dudes whistled at me, and I put my cigarette out, rushing back to my room. I was so fragile. I felt like I would break if someone applied the slightest pressure to me. Sleep came easier then, as I was so physically exhausted, I couldn't stay awake any longer.

I woke to the sound of knocking. I flew out of bed and swung the door open to the ruggedly handsome face of Owen. He was wearing a suit again, the same one if I wasn't mistaken, as last night. He looked tired, with deep bags under his eyes.

"Good morning, Olivia, did I wake you?"

"Yes, sorry." The other girls were lined up in the hall after him, most yawning and looking worse for wear.

"That's okay, if you want a minute to get dressed, you can meet us down in the lobby."

He turned and left with the rest of the girls. I hurriedly dressed and tried my best to smooth my hair down. I ended up just braiding in one single pleat down my back and rushed to the elevators. I met the girls and Owen in the lobby, where they looked to be waiting for me.

"Welcome, Olivia. Please take a seat wherever you are most comfortable, and we'll begin the paperwork processing. I'll be asking you each a series of questions about your life and what led you to West House. There's breakfast over there at the bar, feel free to get whatever you want while you wait your turn. I'll go as quickly as possible. I'll be starting with Aleesha." Owen finished his announcement and I headed over to the breakfast bar for a banana and oatmeal.

He went fast and saved me for last. When he called my name, I was surprised how speedy he worked. I stood and smoothed out my pleated black skirt, walking over to the table Owen was sat at.

"Make yourself comfortable, I'll just be asking a few questions. Starting with how you ended up here? What events led to this decision? Is anyone looking for you?" Owen inquired, raising an eyebrow on the last question.

"Ahem," I cleared my throat, my nerves spiking. "I um, yeah, someone is looking for me. I realize that might make me being here an issue, but I have nowhere else to go. No family, no friends, that know about this anyhow. If they knew where I was, they'd tell Thomas."

"Thomas? Does this Thomas have a last name?" Instead of reassuring me I'd be safe here, he inquired about Thomas, which made me even more nervous.

"Wardwell. Thomas Wardwell." Owens eyes bulged out of his sockets.

"Thomas Wardwell is your master?" he asked incredulously.

"Not anymore, and I never wanted that anyhow." I admitted. "It all started as something small and fun to do with some scenes at the club. But it took a turn for the worse when he got possessive and didn't want to let me leave."

"So, you snuck out?" He tapped his fingers on the table, in deep thought.

"Yes, I did. I managed my escape last night and I'm honestly surprised he hasn't found me yet." I bit at the cuticles on my thumb.

Owen surprised me by reaching over the table and gently taking my thumb away from my mouth. "Don't worry, please. He won't find you and if he does, I will personally kick his ass. He's a member of my club and I don't allow that kind of behavior amongst any of my members.

"You own The Nightingale?" I knew he seemed familiar somehow but couldn't place his face.

"Yes mam, I do. I own this hotel as well. It all fits together quite nicely. The girls get adopted mostly by my club members and I get to keep an eye on them over the years that way. We take good care of the girls that come to West House. Most end up with some kind of degree and a lucrative career. As will you, I know it."

"If Thomas doesn't find me." I whispered, looking down.

"Eventually he will catch on, and when that happens, we will have defensive measures in place we will take. Do you have your papers, or did you leave them with him?"

"You mean my birth certificate and all that? He has it in a safe in his office. Even my license."

Owen sighed. "We have our work cut out for us then. But nothing that can't be done. And it will be done. Soon. We'll let you settle into your room and all that before making a move. Do you agree?"

I nodded my head and sighed in relief. Maybe this was a good idea.

"Kat expedited a room for you, so I'll be taking just you today and one other and getting you settled in. You don't have a roommate at the moment, but if you agree to having one, it makes it easier to get more girls in and settled." Owen looked into my eyes, waiting for an answer, I found myself lost in his dark eyes.

"Yeah, I have no problem having a roommate. Thank you so much for everything you're doing for me, and Kat. I don't know what I would do without you guys." I looked down again, shyly.

"No problem, that's what we're here for. If you want to go grab your stuff, we can get going now if you'd like."

I gathered my meager belongings, meeting Owen back downstairs. We took a different car this time, a sleek black BMW. I loved it and the way it drove. We took a scenic route; I watched the rolling hills of upstate New York fly by.

The West House looked much bigger during the day, especially being that I was sprinting when I arrived in the dark. It was an older looking building, but the inside did it justice, as it had been completely remodeled and divided into bedrooms. We met Kat past the front living room and in the kitchen. There was another woman with her, with beautiful flowing fiery hair. I'd seen her at The Nightingale before.

"Hi!" She had a cheery, high-pitched voice. "Is this the famous Olivia I've heard all about?" She winked at me, I blushed.

"Hi," I said meekly. I wasn't a shy girl, quite the opposite actually. But being bombarded with new faces and being scared out of my wits the last few days will do it for anyone.

"How'd it go at the Belmont, Owen?" She directed her gaze to Owen.

"Great. Do you have that room for Olivia ready, Kat?"

"Yessir. Here you go Liv. Can I call you that?" Kat handed me a set of keys with a pink stretchy wrist band attached.

"Sure," I laughed. Most people called me Liv or Livvie over the years. As a teen, it was predominantly what people called me, but now in my late twenties, I liked Olivia a bit more. But I didn't mind what people called me, not really.

"Let me show you upstairs and to your room." Kat grabbed me by the elbow and directed me upstairs. "I'm really happy you decided to come here, we'll be great friends I just know it." She beamed at me, I smiled back. I needed all the friends I could muster. Thomas made me cut off all my old friends, it was probably too late to reconcile with any of them.

We walked down a long hallway, past several closed doors, some open. In the open doorways, I could see girls doing their nails, hanging posters on the walls, such normal things. No one was crying or being beaten, and it was so refreshing, calm. We got to my door, and she opened the door, sweeping her arm across the room.

"Here you are, doll." She beamed at me again, I liked her smile. I liked her. She dressed edgy-ish. Tight black skinny jeans and converse with a band -t-shirt. She looked different than her more formal attire made her seem the day before. Owen still wore a suit and tie, but I briefly wondered what he would look like in less formal clothing.

"Thanks Kat, seriously. I don't know what I would do without you or Owen and whoever else there is making this program so readily available." I leaned in and gave her a short hug. She smelled of roses slightly. She took both arms in her hands and turned them over, showing my scars.

"You're very welcome. If you ever feel like doing this to yourself while you're here, please come talk to me and we can arrange something else. Okay?" I wondered what she meant by 'something else' but nodded anyhow, blushing in embarrassment. My arms were a wreck and I completely forgot to cover them with a long-sleeved shirt in my rush to get dressed that morning. I planned to get tattoo sleeves to cover the ghastly scars, several of which were deep enough to require stitches, but Thomas never liked the idea. No one had ever so blatantly pointed them out before, let alone offered me other resources for the pain.

I needed pain like I needed air. It kept me alive, reminded me who I was.

"Thanks Kat." I trudged into my room and looked at all four walls and out the window. It was a quaint room, but with a little work could be made homey and cute. I clapped my hands together in excitement for the first time since moving in with Thomas. I could finally see hope for myself, it was more than a little liberating.

I had a little cash stowed in my closet bag, and didn't really want to be alone, so I decided shopping would be the perfect activity. I called for a car and waited down on the porch leading into the front living room. There was some assorted outdoor furniture that allowed me to lounge while waiting. The day was perfect, blue skies with a few clouds drifting leisurely by. I kicked up my feet, setting my Doc Martens on the glass circular table.

A crying girl burst through the front door suddenly, making me jump out of my skin. I had both feet planted before the door shut behind her. She looked around frantically, when she saw me, she stifled her sobs and sniffled.

"Sorry. I'm just having a hard time adjusting without my master." I looked at her with sympathy. I knew exactly what she meant. But at the same time, it made me sick to know what these guys could do to us. How they could break us down and build up back up in this shitty image of themselves. They claimed to be doms and masters, and what they really were was monsters. Abusers hiding behind a façade of lust and safety.

"No problem, I know how you feel. This is hard. Being alone is what's getting me," I admitted.

"Same here. I can't stand it!" The girl choked on another sob and shook her head in frustration. She had a Spanish accent and a beautiful caramel complexion. Her curly black hair was wild and untamed. "I'm Camilla, by the way."

"Olivia. Nice to meet you. I'm going to Target to get some décor and whatnot, wanna come?" I asked the beautifully exotic Camilla.

"Sure!" She seemed to perk right up at the mention of going shopping. "I love Target."

"Oh my gosh, me too. Like, I seriously love it. I need some stick-on stars and posters, new bed spread, all that. You know."

"Maybe that will help being alone in my room, sprucing it up a bit." She bit her nail, deep in thought.

"That's exactly what I'm hoping for. So, do you like Owen and Kat? Have you met Leanne or anyone else yet?"

"I really like Owen. He's daddy material, for sure." She waggled her perfect brows. I don't know why I blushed, but I felt my cheeks heating and something like a twinge of envy. "I haven't really talked to anyone else besides you."

"You should get to know some more people, it might help." I needed to take my own advice.

The car pulled up and we both got in, went shopping for a few hours and decided to get a bite to eat somewhere. Before we headed home. By the time we were done, it was getting dark. Our moods were majorly lifted. We became best friends in the span of half a day. We told each other our life stories, I left quite a bit out. But I did tell her about Thomas and what he did to me. In return, she told me about Eduardo, her master and dom. He tormented her just as bad, if not worse, than Thomas had done to me.

Kat was waiting for us in the front living room when we walked in with our arms full of bags. Our laughing ended abruptly when we saw the look on her face.

"We thought you'd left us!" She cried and ran to hug us both. It was as if she was our mother and we stayed out too late.

Camilla looked at me and I cracked a smile. "Kat, we went shopping, that's all."

"Next time, just let someone in the house know, okay? Too many girls leave us and end up in even worse situations." She turned on her heel and beckoned us with her hand over her shoulder. "Dinner's ready."

We brought our stuff up to our rooms and met each other back down in the dining room, where we sat next to each other. The food was good, meatloaf and mashed potatoes with a side salad. Owen sat across from me, and I couldn't help but look at him a little too often. He didn't look at me, it was like he was angry with me. That bothered me. I don't know why it bothered me so much, but it did. I decided on something probably stupid, but I didn't care much. My personality was slowly leaking out, so to speak. And I just hadn't been a brat in too long. Last time got me beat pretty badly by Thomas, but there was the sweet bliss of subspace afterwards that I obsessed over. It was why I had even gotten into the kink world in the first place.

I rolled up a little piece of my napkin and shoved it into the hole in my straw, blowing it towards Owen. It landed on his plate, he looked up at me sharply. I giggled and he snarled. All signs of his good nature and charm vanished.

"Olivia," Kat scolded me and I giggled again.

Owen continued eating and I did it again. This time he slammed his fork down and full on glared at me.

"Olivia, what in the world has gotten into you? You're acting like a child."

I scooted my chair back, making it squeal and stood abruptly. "Maybe that's who I really am. You've known me for a whole two days, not even." I turned on my heel and walked up to my room, slamming the door behind me. I sat on my bed and cried. Part of being mentally ill was the extreme ups and downs. My mood changed with the wind. I was diagnosed with BPD a few years back. Thomas had made me see a shrink and when the shrink finally diagnosed me, it felt like a sheet was lifted from my face or something like that. It's hard to explain. It was like wearing glasses for the first time and you were blind your whole life. It was liberating in a sort of way, but scary all at the same time. Frustrating. I started taking the pills to help and although they did help, I needed someone to make sure I took them. Sometimes I wouldn't because my mood wasn't right, and I just didn't feel up to it. That resulted in an even worse mood, and I'd stay low for days, sometimes even weeks.

Being at West House, I felt I had to wear my mask at first. But it already started to slip just after one day of being there. I wanted to be the sweet, charming girl I could be. The version of myself where I held a good job and made decent money. But it just didn't stick. I could pretend for a day or so, but I couldn't control when the lows would come.

The blue, I called it. I'd sink into the blue, floating there underwater and drowning.

Not only did I need someone to help me take my pills, but I also needed someone to help me with my moods. I needed someone to help ground and center me. I needed someone to be able to deal with the blue and still love me. But who could ever love such a screwed-up girl?

A soft knock on the door and I heard Camilla's voice through the crack. I unlocked the door and let her in. She sat next to me on the bed and rubbed my back, while I sobbed my eyes out. I needed a good pain session and the wonderful high of subspace. But without a master, I couldn't even get that. I thought of hurting myself and shook my head hard.

I needed Kat.