All Comments on 'Taming the Bunny Ch. 02'

“So you see, it's not my fault. You were just hasty.” LMAO

Lana and Lisa are two of the most narcissistic females, or even humans in general, that I have seen created here at Lit in years. Delusional, self-centered, self-indulgent, egotistical and an inflated sense of body image. I assume that Rick the sad little pet is, or will be, happy with the STD he will eventually contract from the wife. The absolute best part of this story is Brian’s outrage when he is the one who truly gets to be the true cuckold in this over the top mess.

I think it could work as a parody for delusional cheaters. I struggle to believe that any wife could be this wilfully stupid and complacent about her relationship still being there after this. Lana freely admits that half the enjoyment was the humiliation and cruelty aspect

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Though Mark has moved out he hasn’t completely shut down the possibility of getting back together so what do I know? He should’ve seen a lawyer already, it’s not like there are kids involved. It would still stretch plausibility for me, but the only way you could entertain a reconciliation would be once an actual divorce has completed and she has quit fucking around (for the duration).

Too long! You should have ended this in this chapter! We can see where you are taking this: Making Brian a willing cuckold, then return to her husband, but that marriage has ended a long time ago! So from now on it will be an empty story! 1*

Get an editor, English is not your native tongue obviously. The story is interesting hope Mark stuffs the bitch but good.

The characters are all ridiculous. Mark will come back if she drops Brian? She refused and that should be the end of it. Divorce. Rick should smarten up. He hates what is going on, even telling his wife the women are cruel and he sits right there and takes it. The whole story is stupid.

Get an editor.

Part 1 was better and made more sense. Story is now going off the rails because house renovations, whole new group of friends, and new physical body takes an awfully long time, and yet the Brian-Lana story has not moved at all.

Also, I can't believe that any husband would not have already divorced a wife who he recognizes as a selfish-bitch and who had betrayed so badly.

Story is still fundamentally interesting but execution is failing.

So, we went from 4* in Part 1 to 2* in Part 2.

Oh sorry, I only noticed then before that weekend that yes, I must have overdone your training.

And she wonders why his gone. Butbut, if you turn this into a reconciliation, you'll go from a low 2 to a solid 1.

Okay you're going to have to go into a deeper explanation about the part where he might take her back if she ends things with Brian. As annoyed as readers are as to why he's still hanging on since not only has the war has already been lost but they're already making movies about the war, a man actually living this situation would feel this annoyance amplified a million fold. The explanation doesn't even need to be that great and it could still piss off readers it just needs to work for the character in a believable way. It's really difficult to suspend disbelieve that much even given the light hearted tone of the story.

Lana’s true depth of narcissism emerges…. Ysk tak boytoy brian

The boyfriend becomes the cuck and a future cat lady is born.

Brian verlässt auch Lana, weil er sich genauso wenig wie Marc zum Chuck machen will. Ob Lana dann aufwacht? Eher nicht. Wenn Rick sich auch von Lisa trennen würde und zu Marc ziehen würde, könnten die Schlampen vielleicht aufwachen, ob es noch was bringt, ist die andere Frage

She's such a slut and an unlikeable character and he's jus a limp noodle. Hard to like this trash with such weak characters.

The dialogue needs work. It’s like it’s filtered through an AI or google translate.

The plot is ridiculous and the idea that sny one guy could renovate an entire house, top to bottom in 2 weeks is unbelievable. A year? Sure but 2 weeks? Not gonna happen.

"you would have your own personal slut at home"

Mark doesn't have a personal anything. Well, maybe he has a new house.

Not only is this extremely poorly written, it is ridiculous beyond words.

What a stupid fucking woman.

When she finds out is done with her once and for all, I expect her head will explode.

No BTB needed when someone that clueless get anal-raped by reality.

OMG that was the worst and most pathetic thing I have read. I love them so much I don't want to divorce them is bullshit. That is the biggest stupidest thing that can be said when they are cheating whores. Divorce is the only answer for this.

A minor improvement from chapter 01. Didn't rate ot this time.

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Last time it was so bad I passed on my normal policy of giving first time authors 5 stars for future encouragement.

just a story about a slut nothing else

Why is it always the woman who want's open marriages? It is much easier for woman to get laid, they just need to offer up pussy and voila, they have a bed mate! For the male it's a lot more work to get a shag, unless he pays for it!

The author writes about and describes two absolutely pathetic husbands, they don’t appear to have a working brain cell between them. No sensible man with a scintilla of self respect would accept the way in which their wives are treating them. Please, if you are intending to continue this sorry tale, at least allow the husbands to grow a pair and regain some control of their lives.

It’s like watching a car crash in slow motion, which I hope was your intent. Please do carry on, an entertaining read (with some suspension of belief) since I cannot believe two long time married would be so disconnected.

You hinted that light-bulb moment is cumming to Brian... I hope it does!

I have to wonder what colour the sky is in your world. This came across like looking at a marriage in a fun house mirror. Your women are one dimensional horny vaginas and your men are sentient hemorrhoids. I've never posted a negative comment before, since I know it takes A LOT of effort to create something, but there was nothing redeemable about this story, and I feel like you molested my eyes.

Is this written as a childish Point of View? Two talking doormats. One that completely gives in to his slut, cheating wife re Open Relationships. Not for him though: he gets nothing Open! Plus, another doormat that breaks free from his wife BUT doesn't cut the Marital cord. He even talks about taking back the walking, talking SLUT once she decides she is finished getting boned by the boyfriend. What a weak and pathetic husband he is. Stop being a doormat, TELL don't ask, the wife Lana that the marriage is over and file for divorce.

He stupidly went off and purchased another house using what will get classed as marital property! Dumbo. Lana now owns half of the new house!

This needs to end with Mark finding a better woman and divorcing Lana. She's an awful person. And if Rick is really his friend he needs to get him away from Lisa, she's just as bad. These stories aren't erotic at all and I really hope they turn into BTB stories.

Weird dialogue. Why is Mark even talking to this slut? It seems the story is tracking in one direction, then he decides to open the wound again by chatting with her. The predator Brian is just a tool and Mark's cuckold friend is just a fool. I agree with others that an editor is needed.

So let me get this straight. The humiliation generated from the first story wasn't enough to make you stop? Therefore, you had to embarrass yourself even further with a sequel? Oh well, it's as they say. Stupid is as stupid does. Sure glad I didn't waste time trying to read it.

This tale was very poorly written. I suspect the writer is not a native English speaker.

Is this a joke? Even as a parody it borders on the sublime. But I admit it has me hooked. We' ll see because it has several directions it can go. Hopefully, the author is up to it.

The style of storytelling is somewhat hard to follow at times. Need to work better at the transitions for better flow.

"I just thought that I'll try the whole open relationship idea alone first." - You can't do "open" alone, that's called an affair.

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"That weekend between Brian and I was not related to our hardships in any way?" - LOL it was TOTALLY related!

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@NorthHunter, I was going to ask about author's native language, it definitely feels off.

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@dmann, sorry, it's already a one because he hasn't simply dumped her. It was bad enough that he gave her a chance IF she dumped Brian, but when she didn't, and he didn't dump her, he lost me.

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What is "hehhe?" Did you mean "heh heh?"

Just awful

My head hurts trying to read this mess. Unfortunately, there is a fairly entertaining story buried under all of this incoherent verbiage 😂

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Everyone in this tale is nuts. Especially the women. Rick is pathetic. Mark appears to be finding his balls….but why the hell hasn’t he filed for divorce?

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Sigh….I guess I’ll be looking for next part if only to see if Mark escapes this mess.

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2 **

That this is starting to go off the rails and starting to get a little bit over much and overdone

Finally!

This kind of dialogue story is fairly often found, but most of them fail miserably.

In your story however, it is always clear who is talking.

Congratulations!

Well, we can discuss whether the male main character is too weak, but this is your story and I do not want to read what I would probably do. Broadens my horizon and makes me think differently. And that is what a good story should do.

Thanks a lot and I am looking forward to the next chapter!

How long are u carrying out this soap opera

I respect that English may not be your first language - but you need better command at how people actually talk to each other and things that they say and think to themselves. These characters have the emotional level of 3rd graders. It's not just the insane levels of narcissism - Nothing they say is realistic. None of their reactions are reasonable. There is no emotion of any kind in this story. They "speak words" at each other but words have no effect as they would in any semblance of real life. Almost everything in these two chapters is base cruelty. And Mark is a wet noodle. Their perspectives change multiple times over the same paragraph if not the same sentence. I am sorry - this just isn't readable.

Bad writing, cuckold fetish, lack of motivation in characters

Yep, that's 1

Awful. This writer read some cliché-filled nonsense on this site and exclaimed, "Hey! I can do that, too!" As bad as part 1 was, this one felt like, "Well, I need a Part 2, but my story arcs smashed into the ground way back there, so... I'll improvise." It's clear that many of this site's writers conflate writing with storytelling when they have no clue.

Christ I thought the first part was crap but then you went ahead and wrote this which is even worse.

Kick her to the curb pronto and then btb

The writing is atrocious, as if English is a second (third?) language and you’re using AI to convert it from your primary language; it’s stilted and robotic. The characters are wholly unbelievable.

If he takes the slut back then he will be giving her his balls just get rid of the whore and get on with life without the slut

Boy boy, is she gonna get the shock of her life when she realizes she’s all by herself in her old age wondering what the hell happened I’m not waiting for the other two husbands to move out into the other house just a matter of time. At least I hope that’s where the author goes with this.

This is seriously fucked up. Mark is an idiot but at least he has some balls when he's not behaving like a neurotic Nancy. Rick is different gravy, though. Somebody needs to take him to the local veterinary surgery so the sick puppy can be put mercifully to sleep. It's simply cruel to force him to continue living. Where do I even start with Lana and Lisa, the Diabolical Duo? Please make this stop.

JR

The story line improved a bit, but the writing is still atrocious. I wrote better than this in junior high, so I hope you're just not a native speaker, as grade school kids aren't supposed to be on this site.

This is quite a silly tale. Mark is just pathetic in the first story. Good to see that Mark is moving on better now. It would be totally pathetic if he took her back.

He should have had her served when she got back from her trip. Then he could have told her she had until the divorce was final to end things with Brian and convince him he could trust her never to do it again. Which I doubt she could ever do.

Eigentlich ganz einfach wie die Geschichte endet, Marc lässt sich scheiden, holt auch Rick in sein Bott und lässt sich auch scheiden, dieser Brain, ist auch schon weg, weil er meinte Lana gehört ihm und die Schlampen werden von ihren alten Freunden gemieden und werden nur noch als "Nutten" gevögelt, die sie ja dann auch waren, auch wenn kein Geld geflossen ist, was sie aber dann nach Scheidung dringend bauchen.

Gut, eine übliche Geschichte über Frauen, die meinen, sie brauchen vor ihrem "Altern" noch etwas Aufregendes, gibt es genauso im männlichen Bereich. Ich finde es traurig, aber das gibt es im Tierreich genauso, und wenn viele meinen, wir als Menschen sind was besseres - NEIN sind wir nicht, Tiere lösen solche sexuellen Probleme sittsamer. Da brütet auch mal ein schwules Pinguinpaar ein verlassenes Ei aus und sind hervorragende Eltern für ihr Kind.

Solche Geschichten wie diese, zeigen doch bloß, wie die meisten ihre ,moralischen Werte über Bord werfen und dann meinen, Tiere machen es auch nicht anders, Vollkommender Blödsinn.

This story started out okay then part 2 came it went from decent to shit in a handbasket quickly. Mark all the sudden becomes wishy washy and turned into a simp and a cuck by the writer. His stance in chapt 1 was if she cheated there marriage was over. Chapt 2 he'll take her back if she ends the affair with Brian to the ending of wanted to enjoy gang bangs. Come on writer make up your damn mind already.

Worst grammar ever. Some serious work needs to be done to make this readable.

Delusional, self-centered, self-indulgent and egotistical pretty much define the mindset of cheaters, so is it any surprise that every time cheaters in LW stories try to justify their behavior they come across that way? If you've ever known any cheaters, they sound like that in real life, too.

I would suggest never writing in English again, it’s not your first language and it rereads like a child wrote it. What ever story in there is hidden under your sad attempt at English grammar and syntax. Utter crap really.

Bin neugierig wie du besonders bei der Ankündigung von 3 Schlampen und 6 Jungs, noch die Kurve kriegen willst. Ich weiß ja nicht, ob diese Alice, die ja anscheinend die jeniege ist, die Lisa und dann Jana dazu gebracht hat, ihre Ehen zu zerstören, obwohl sich die Damen sich keiner Schuld bewusst sind..

Lieber Autor, ich habe keine Ahnung, wie du diese Geschichte beenden willst, aber einigermaßen glaubwürdig zu machen, fehlt noch viel Phantasie. Solche Geschichten erzählt man nur, wenn man selber in der Situation ist, oder eben solche Phantasien hat.

Meine Frau war nicht mehr meine Frau, wie sie sich fremd gevögelt hat. Da unsere Jungs noch jung waren, hab ich zuerst auf eine Scheidung verzichtet, da sie dann weiter gemacht hat, wars dann.

Es gibt nicht Schlimmeres wie Scheidungskinder, aus der Untreue aus. Dieser Stecher meiner Frau (18 Jahre Älter) war stolz darauf eine junges verheiratetes Mädel zu ficken, die Kinder wollte er dann aber nicht, da die Jungs damals 3 und 6 Jahre alt waren, nahm ich sie noch auf, baute aber meine Hütte um, und versuchte dass Beste für meine Jungs. Aber Versöhnung gab es nie mehr und wird es auch nie geben.

Writing in a second language must be difficult but well done for trying. My take on the story is that it is ridiculous. I hope in part 3 that Mark grows a set and serves the divorce papers. She has no loyalty and behaves like a slut. Who would want to have kids with a person like that? Once he serves the divorce papers he should get with a nice girl. His slut ex is then distraught and has picked up various std's. Sorry only 2 stars until the tables are turned.

What gives any woman the right to say “ l’ve earned this “ just because she has a “ pussy “ get real . Have Mark stick to his guns moving out was the only real thing he could have done . Now have the shoe turn to the other foot and let Lana sweat it

If a paragraph doesn’t begin with a quotation mark, that indicates it’s narrative. If one character is speaking and is not uninterrupted by narrative or another character talking, every paragraph starts with a mark, but only the last one has a closing mark. This is not open for debate. That's key part of how quotation marks work.

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You switch conversations and locations without any transition.

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Lastly, the only reason they're still together at all is because you are dragging it out. Their arguments were redundant in the 1st chapter, and it's only gotten worse. You had barely enough plot for two chapters, and it's still not done.

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If they divorce, the story should be done by now. If for some reason they don't, that would require negating everything you've already posted, a RAAC.

Blah, blah, blah. Patient pussy deserves whatever he lets happen

If your first language is English, you must not have taken your school lessons very seriously. You make it difficult for the reader to understand to whom each bit of dialog should be attributed, making it unnecessarily confusing. Please seek the assistance of an editor here, as this group of readers generally wishes an author to succeed. Without changes on your part, you won't.

Wow. Do people who write these stories think women are this stupid, or do they just WISH women were this stupid? I get that it’s fiction - and hey, if misogyny is your thing then you do you - but between this and the blatant racism (almost always black guys who have the big dicks who treat women like shit, and get them hooked on drugs) I don’t even get through half these stories before rolling my eyes and moving on to see if the next story is just as dumb. This story was one of those - the dumb ones, in case anyone is wondering. -4 stars. What drivel.

go off the rails and too far for a forgiveness and reconciliation. I think it is time for the MC to man up, find his balls, server her and move on WHILE destroying her and Brian.

What a skanky cunt. Mark needs to move on

What complete trash. A story about wimp cuck men and a couple of worthless whores. The author should find another hobby...this isn't even good toilet paper

Men, some women do this in reality. The ones that do don't really love you; they're just buying time with you.

They don't want to lose what they have, but still want to try for something better, so they try this shit.

If and when they find better, you will be history. Better in the long run to just move on when it starts.

Sort of stupid premise. By definition, few women are a "9". Most are between 4 & 6.

Add a point if she has a better than average paying job.

DEDUCT a point if she has a poor or very good paying job.

So, an average woman with a less than average job ends up a 5-1 =4, NOT a 9.

On the other hand, an average looking man with a better than average job ends up a 5+1 = 6.

THIS is reality, not this story.

Dialogue is horrendous.

English is evidently not your native language, so the story is hard to follow.

There’s no emotion in any of the sentences.

And it’s very difficult to believe that he hasn’t served her with a divorce petition yet.

I went into this chapter two hoping for improvement over the first chapter; but nope, that didn’t happen. I won’t be reading any further.

1* for having the balls to put this runaway on this site.

This 'tale' is too difficult to follow. You need, (author) to get your head out of your ass and YOU read this crap and see what the hell you are trying to convey. I hope any other 'tales' are written with the help of someone who understands the English language and knows how important punctuation marks are to concise AND used.

Hmmmm….. 2nd part was better than the 1st. Mark is getting stronger, but still a cuck. Story does not read well, hard to follow….

Great satire!

I think choosing to portray a story in just dialog when it's obvious that your command of the English language isn't all that great was a big mistake. It makes your story incredibly hard to follow and in parts, your dialog sounds really, really bad. On top of that, it makes your story seem very sterile. Like these people exist inside a world with no color or terrain or ambience. We never get to see how they feel, unless they say it. We never get to interpret how they act through the lens of anything other than dialog. It's just not a good way to tell a story.

I hate to say it but, it reads as if a teenager has written this, ( I haven’t looked at your profile) , it just doesn’t flow in any way.

The plot itself seems okay, but it’s the way you have written it.

I get it, But .. why would her husband by now have filed for a legal separation, and demanded she begin counseling before communicating on any level with her. Would it of been firmer if his wimp friend had to promise not to tell the two cheating wifes.