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All Comments on 'tawny'

by kurtknout

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HandcuffGirlHandcuffGirlover 14 years ago
try an editor . . .

Were all those random paragraph breaks done on purpose? What about the run-on sentences? The last page has huge gaps in in for some reason. I thought literotica had people looking over stories.

screaming_moistscreaming_moistover 14 years ago
Um, NO

Lots of misspellings, paragraph breaks were confusing . . . really didn't work for me. However, the premise of the story was interesting. Maybe do some editing?

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