by thebobber326
It's a great story I loved it keep it up. Hope there will be another episode rivalry continuing.
Loved it keep it up. Excellent use of the language and beautifully portrayed. I hope there will be another episode of this rivalry.
3/5 stars, the concept was good. the many times the names was changed around was not. Also wondering what happen to the girl that was locked in the room with them? if her hands were glued to her butt how did she turn the water on and wash them. maybe try this one again sometime.
It's quite a good idea but I would expect there to be a humiliation part she just left without doing anything to the loser. But however it was quite a good story and I guess you have sometimes missed the names but it was okay. I feel like a question of what will happen next because that girl's photos will be roaming all around and the other got away nicely. Will there be a sequel to this?
I will gave 5 stars I got this from a catfight group and I like this story it is not my cup of tea but it was so good I liked it. I feel like the ending is a little bit misty not very much clear. And the names sometimes feel like jumbled but not much of a problem. It will be better if this story gets a better conclusion with another part connected to this.
Thank you all for this feedback! I should have picked names that were less similar, that seems like a stupid decision in hindsight. The ending is a little vague because it was written with a sequel in mind. Should that sequel ever get published, I will definitely remember what you all have said!
A good story would expect more of this story but make the brother or that guy more involved in it and more fighting moves will be pretty awesome. (4.5/5)