All Comments on 'Teaching, Off To College'

I want more

You can write for me any time. 5 stars.

I vote with hobie 1010

very good more pls..

Yes, great story. Please follow up with what is next in their lives.

This is a beautiful, well-written story, with excellent characters, an amazing work for a first-time author. The pacing of the story is excellent as well, and the romantic mood that pervades the plot is marvelous. The love scene is beautifully written, if rather too short, and really adds depth to the developing romance. Five stars.

Really well written, especially for a first effort. Keep writing!

By the title it seems that this is the first in a series. Can’t wait to read more!

Some constructive criticism:

- So many of your paragraphs are far too long. While they aren’t really run-on paragraphs (all on the same topic) such lengthy ones are a disservice to your readers, making it difficult for the readers eyes to track correctly and easily getting lost on the page. You can break those up without losing the flow of the narrative.

- You choose a first person narrative voice, but you break from it for one paragraph which begins in third person and ends in her first person. Huh? And it’s not like her “plan” wasn’t going to be revealed later anyway. It Was jarring, broke continuity and was essentially useless.

Great story. Please keep writing.I will be watching for more stories.

Loved it, hit the mark forme. Can't wait until you write another one X

A sweet story that I really enjoyed. Thank you!

5 star first effort. Sweet story line.

Good first effort. I liked the story and the two main characters, but I'd suggest finding someone to help proof for errors. As already mentioned you had a shift in point of view, which in my opinion is rarely helpful to move a story along. You can check the volunteer editors section as one place, or just ask someone. I haven't had the writing bug in a while, but found a few other more talented writers to help proof my worl before submitting.

If you still atruggle with finding help, reread it out loud yourself, hopefully you spot places where you have HE instead of SHE, or the first word of the sentence is missing a letter so you have a lower case "o".

Welcome and thanks for sharing. I look forward to more from you.

Rnebular

Good premise.

But sex, when it happens, zooms ahead -- much too rapidly. Too automatically. Too matter of factly.

No real tension.

Three stars.

First story, Excellent! Watch your spelling, and rhythm in future stories. Five stars.

Lovely story with steam a dash of humour .

Enjoyed your story very much. I can see who's going to wear the trousers in that relationship lol..

He seems like a weak wimp in front of the girls

As a fan of mature stories, this one was shittily written!! Guy was a weak wimp