by Strawberry_2051
Knocking on Heaven's door, slow and gentle is good but.... A great start to what promises to be a great story. Good build up and characters. I applaud and appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.
Hot. Could have used more dialog. You also have a tendency to cut sentences in half with unnecessary commas. But I hope to see more.
This guy is obviously going to cum any moment, and he's got the woman he's already fucking and two 18-year-old girls in front of him. Wow, what a cum-bath we're in for...
A great start. I like how the action is drawn out, there's a bit of suspense to it. The writing is also fantastic, except for its a little to medical. The way she describes her orgasm sounds like a doctor diagnoising a disease. But that is a small quibble.
Gross! What a teaser! You had plenty of time to fuck and ejaculate. What you wrote was pure teasing.