All Comments on 'Teresa's Christmas Ordeal Ch. 01'

I may have given you the customary 5 stars you usually earn but this read was rather sad. The worst part was that very last sentence. More tears.

Yes, I've been known to write a few sad ones, like Pete Feeley and Amy. As Dr. P. Harvey Eckhart might say: we must feel the pain of the bad times to contrast with the joy of the good times. Also, this is a big Teresa arc story, and of course her story is one of overcoming pain and adversity.

Ok, I get the overcoming pain and adversity bit - being a 12-year survivor of one of the silent-killer-type Big-C's myself (fortunately for me, caught early enough).

But really... you had to do this to her (and us) over Christmas?!

Trust me, if you've ever been there yourself - taking that sudden, unexpected, and very long look at the possible near-term end of your mortality when you're not expecting it - is emotionally wrenching and fully all-consuming enough of an experience all on its own. Many people have slid into even-more-life-threatening deep depressions over the experience - and with good cause. You didn't need to twist the knife with the Christmas season stuff for her at all. That bit actually comes off as sort of cheap to my eyes.

While I'm on this point, I think that your earlier story about the passing of Amy and the organ-transplant theft was one of the few parts of your writing that missed the mark. I can understand why, though, as you (hopefully) have no direct experience with the passing of a really close young one. It is very much the same kind of gut-churning heart-wrenching emotional cement mixer that facing the unanticipated news of your possible death at the hands of some disease is - only magnified about a thousand percent or so. You never quite captured or transmitted the real essence of that experience and pain in the story. It is the sort of experience that generally alters the trajectory of life, at least on emotional terms - for weeks or months at a minimum.

You had a bigger story arc to tell about, and that was where your focus lay as an author/writer, I get that. However, when you delve into these areas of deeply impactful, emotionally wrenching life experiences, I sense the missing depth of experience in the way you try to relate the impact of these on your characters. Perhaps that is because having had those experiences myself, I can empathize more with your characters' plights then even you do. ...or perhaps it is something else...I'm not certain. I'm just saying that you're previous efforts touching on these areas - like you are about to land on Theresa with, lacked the depth of authentic emotional relatability to my worn, weary, perhaps jaded eyes. I'm hoping that Theresa won't be so short-changed. As a character, she deserves deeper and better care than that.

Just my $0.02.

- GrandPaM

Thank you for your comments. I understand what you are saying about the emotional impacts. On the one hand, it's not easy conveying emotion, be it humor or pain, through a written medium like this one. It may also be my lack of writing skills to properly convey the emotion. On the other hand, there will be some like yourself who will experience my writing differently than others, and will feel the emotions differently, more, less or just differently, than others.

Also, the impact over time... would you not say Pete Feeley's death greatly impacted the Iron Crowbar over time? Would you not say Amy's passing and the changes her life then her death made on Teresa are impactful? And continuing?

So, I am sorry if these stories have not come across well, and I hope they'll be more understood as the nest few stories come out. Of course I never just stop pouring it on after one story, n'est pas?

WW I as someone that had his now ex wife suffer the same fate as TC seems to have and still going strong thirty years after surgery, she will have the Troy family as well as the Vision to help her through the mind wars as well as the physical issues she will have to endure. If you write this with compassion and understanding with a positive outcome it will give hope to many others out there who either have a fight going on with the big C or have one in the future. The way this pans out the outcome will have a larger effect over many people, many more than you may have thought of when putting pen to paper. It is right that these issues are written about and the strain within families and friends discussed openly, as it is one way to learn and become brave. As for the hit=man I feel he already has gone after the drone perps and got hit by the shot from the gun of the IC. Noted male running away leaving a weapon and blood trail, hence this one a free one for Mr Burke, there again the He could be a She. I will keep my options open on that one. The question is will Mrs Burke talk to the IC or Todd about her fear on what those meetings are over and or will she end up as another body/murder for the IC to solve. Give another 5* for this Ch1 and await the next chapter with baited breath.

Honestly, your stories are interwoven from the beginning till now, and that didn't include the genre shift from family drama to the police/political drama we now have.

Not there's anything wrong with it, they're actually great, like G.R.R Martins interwoven plots in Game of Thrones.

Yes I'm sure you want us to read the whole thing from the top. But I'm sure a recap that that show the highlights of your stories wouldn't hurt

I could get snarky and say the backhanded way of doing a synopsis was done in the "Dream Weaver" series... but that would likely get me in some trouble. ;o)

I do try to reference specific past stories when I reference something from the past. I'm not sure where to put out a synopsis issue... I don't really want to do that as one of the stories, especially if it'll need updating. And I don't really want to go back through all the stories just to make a synopsis... maybe someone else would be willing to do that?

(So, I am sorry if these stories have not come across well, and I hope they'll be more understood as the nest few stories come out. Of course I never just stop pouring it on after one story, n'est pas?)

Please don't misunderstand my intent. I'm still a large fan of your work. I was only attempting to point out that I felt that this one area of deep emotional impact is where I detected a noteworthy lack in what you are doing and/or how you are doing it. However, I can simultaneously accept that in the context of the larger narrative, sacrifices may need to be made so that chapters don't balloon to 30 pages instead of 3. Trust me in that I find your stories quite attention-getting and riveting. So while I offered $0.02 on the subject, I accept that you may find my thoughts worth even less than that - or not. Whatever the case, you still have a fan in me.

Have had family members die in my arms, have had to bury a child have had friends leave us for a host of reasons WAY BEFORE what seemed to be their time. Currently have friend who was mountain climbing one Sunday and Wednesday her stomach swelled up like a basket ball. Yes it is the "BIG C"! Underwent weeks of chemo and before completed had emergency surgery to remove a lot of her innards. She's doing OK today but knows full well the fight is not over.

For us. your readers, your writing skill is so powerful over such a lengthy period of time the characters, and how you present each of them, the good and the bad, ARE NOT characters in a story they have become PERSONALITIES to us.

Sure we know that they are not real but we, your readers, CARE about each of them and readily transfer feelings we have and had with REAL people to your characters.

That my dear WW this is the greatest testimonial, this reader believes, ANY writer would covet. The second "testimonial" to you is the on going exchanges between us and your good self. Doubt many of us will ever meet you in person but you ARE A REAL PERSON who takes ACTION to show we are valued. Many days KNOW there will be no "update" posted but check to see and read the posts from others and the exchanges you provide.

Believe Arthur Cannon Doyle is immortalized today because Sherlock Holmes was, and still is, a PERSONALITY to so many. You sir are gifted with that skill. Use it don't abuse it.

One Day at a Time,

The Ol' Man

Thanks to everyone for their comments; they are valuable and are appreciated. Especially the constructive criticisms.

Based on these, I hope (and think) the second chapter of this story will be good for y'all. It was submitted yesterday, and I hope it'll be published soon.

While I do understand that in life, both good things and bad things happen to people, and that death comes for all of us; one of the more painful ways to go is to die of cancer. Of course, there are many cancer survivors. I'm awash in concern for Teresa as I think she's become my favorite character. To see her go through another "ordeal" (to paraphrase the title) is agonizing.

I do think of her as a survivor - she's had to be one with all the trials and tribulations she's experienced. And I hope this is another trial she'll survive. (If/when she does give birth, and it's a girl, will she be named after her sister or Amy?)

luv2read2

Good story so far, but honestly I had no idea going into it, that there were previous storis to build this universe. Now I have to go back and read more. My only complaint is that had I known, I would have gone back before truing to make sense of this one first. Thanks and 5* from me.

Life's a bitch. You certainly write a mean story. 5⛤

I’m confused. Isn’t Theresa pregnant ? I don’t know much about women’s interior plumbing. With the ovarian cancer won’t chemo and or radiation destroy the fetus? The other scenario is she doesn’t do any treatment, has the baby and surcome to die. All her prayers for Amy didn’t get fulfilled, lost a sister, mother and father in an instant of time, now this happens. I’ve shed more tears over Theresa plight then I care to mention BUT life goes on.

*****Wow so sad. Thanks for sharing.