All Comments on 'Thank You, Master'

A good story that gets somewhere, but your use of dialogue could use some strengthening. Most of the conversation comes in short, rapid bursts with the definitive overuse of exclamation points for the man. It's rather distracting to have all those instances of ! and "!!" thrown about. Please don't hesitate to use a little more conversation, and throw in a period or comma. :)

It was good for a begining. there just needs to be more dialouge. I think given the mood of the story the exclamation points werent needed, but other than that i thought it was a good story.

made me all ...hmmm...well, I shouldn't talk like that in public. ;)

Hot!