The 5 Words

As all great things come to an end, the orgasms we were both experiencing began to subside and the waves slowed and the height of each peak lessened. I slowly opened my eyes to see my hand still on his cock which I gave a squeeze and let go, causing him to ejaculate one more time.

I looked down at my covered body and one last lingering wave of orgasm hit me. I shuttered, pulling my fingers from my pussy and sliding my hand up through the puddles of cum on my stomach and breasts.

As I slowly looked up, I saw that the blind fold moved some as we thrust ourselves around, and Jon's head might have been turned just so, to take advantage of it. I could not be sure, but as I looked at him, he moved his head to perhaps hide his gaze. If he could see this, then there was no going back for him to what his mom used to be. What was under him was a middle aged, cum covered woman who loved what had just happened to her. Who was still gasping for air after the most intense orgasm in her life. An orgasm that her own son had been part of. Hopefully not.

After a few moments of silence, he asked, "Mom, are you ok"? "Quite" I scolded as I slowly returned to the world. I was not going to go down the road of talking about what had just happened, and that was the first rule anyways. If we don't talk about it, it didn't happen.

I lifted myself from the couch, moved Jon back a little and I stood up unsteadily, holding onto his arm as I rose. "Mom"? He said, "Shhh" I responded." "Give me a few minutes then you can take that off." I kissed him on the cheek and walked slowly from the room and up the stairs to my room. Dripping cum and my juices all the way there.

Once in my room I stood in front of the mirror and gazed over my body. There was cum from my nose all the way down to my knees. The sight was something I had fantasied about and tried to create for a month. And here it was. My pussy began to throb again and I knew that another orgasm was already built up and ready to overtake me.

I positioned the mirror and laid back onto my bed. Running my fingers from my ass, up my lips and to my clit, I was nearly at the point of orgasm already. I slid my fingers in and out of my pussy while rubbing my ass with the other hand, unable to keep from thrusting my pussy up into the air again like downstairs. The image in the mirror combined with the intoxicating smell of his semen was better than anything I had made up. It was those 5 words come to life. 'He came all over me'. As I thought those words I climaxed again. And again, the intensity was overwhelming, I screamed as the waves washed over me, over and over. My fingers mixing Jon's cum and my juice into my pussy as my other hand rubbed his semen all over abs and chest. I know that I was filling the house with my moans and screams and that Jon was hearing every bit of it and knew exactly what was going on. There was just no way for me to stop, I did not care.

Afterwards, I laid there considering if I was insane, and that I would be put in prison or an asylum once this got out. There is the love of a mother, and then there was this, and no one is going to believe that what I just did was natural. Or maternal. I still thought it was however, which is probably what made me insane. I believed that it was love that got this started, and even though I partially hijacked it for my own needs, the original reason was still the same. I rolled my sanity around in my head for a while then drifted off to sleep.

It was late afternoon by the time I woke up. Still laying in my bed. Covered in dried cum. The thought that I could probably give myself another orgasm passed through my mind, but it felt a little sore down there and I was really hungry after missing breakfast and lunch. So I rolled out of bed, took one long last look at myself in the mirror and headed to the shower.

The hot water slowly washed off the remnants of the morning, relaxing my stressed body and in general reviving me. I could not help but spend a little time massaging my pussy in the warm water and the feeling was once again fantastic, bringing up flashes of the morning activities to my mind.

Out of the shower I hopped, shaking out my curly locks like a dog and back into my room where I found the most comfortable lounge wear I had. I slipped on a pair of cotton panties, a light top and yoga pants and headed down stairs. Jon was nowhere to be found so I started a search. After walking through most of the house I found him curled up under a blanket on the very couch, as though he never left it. Cum stains all over the place. That was a problem for later I decided and went to make some food.

I worked in the kitchen for a while and then headed into the breakfast room to sit and look out into the gardens. It was another beautiful room of the house and my thoughts drifted off to what I might do in here, with a table and wing back chairs. As I was constructing a new fantasy, Jon walked in with a plate and sat next to me.

There was obviously a new familiarity and our old space boundaries were, well, old. In the past we would sit across from each other, giving each other space. But Jon sat right next to me at a table that had several other chairs. We gave each other a look, and a smile, he dug into the breakfast I had made. It was afternoon, but we never did get to breakfast, so it made sense to me and seem to fit the need.

I had no idea how to talk after what we had just done, but I figured I could keep the first rule in mind and talk all around that hour or so of our life. "What's your plan for the day?"

He smiled at his eggs, paused a little too long and said, "I don't know, the day is mostly over. I thought I would do a little homework, maybe watch a movie later on. How about you?"

It was my turn to grin, and work through an answer. I sure hoped this would get easier as the feelings of what we had done faded a little bit. "I have a little work to do and I might watch a movie with you. What did you have in mind?"

The conversation stumbled on while we ate, and we slowly became more comfortable with the new person in front of us. It was actually kind of fun to talk about mundane stuff while in the back ground I had an image of cum covered bodies, which we were forbidden to talk about. I still did not know if he had managed to see enough to have the same image, but I could not ask him without breaking my own rule.

As I awoke the next morning, the previous day was like a dream. The dream slowly cemented into reality, understanding and then terror that I had actually done those things, that I had encouraged my son to do those things to me. Oh god, I thought, as my anxiety began to rise. I knew I needed to get out of there, so I jumped into my running gear and went out for a very, very long run.

As I ran, I was able to think through what had happened and put some analysis to it. I forced myself to be objective, to look at it from a couple of different perspectives. There was the mom/ nurturing perspective, there was Jon's perspective, there was societies perspective and there was, if I am being honest, my own sexual perspective. All of these played a role in what I allowed to happen and how I was now feeling about it. I needed to get a handle on them if I was going to live with myself.

Mile after mile I turned these around in my head, trying to make sense of it and what I could do now to manage what had happened. I was breaking my own first rule by dwelling on this in so much detail, but I could not separate myself from it, and unfortunately, I could not stop the occasional flash of that image in my mind either. In the final review I had to accept that it had happened, that Jon would survive it and hopefully benefit and that I would wrestle with it for the rest of my life. That would be my penitence. I should try to not let this happen again in the future.

As the weeks went by, we formed our new relationship and really enjoyed each other's company. I could not have been happier about how the whole event had turned out. I had expected us to never be able to be mom and son again, that one of us would be embarrassed or humiliated and would in the end avoid the other. But that was not the case.

There were so many ways for it to have gone bad, yet the connection between us was maybe stronger than before, even if that was not acknowledged. And occasional awkwardness aside, we were able to fall back into our mom-son roles. Judy would be back in town in a couple of weeks and I could put the whole proceedings in the rear-view mirror.

I was still struggling with the 5 words and the newly made, high-resolution real-life images burned into my brain, and was still masturbating to that image regularly, but I thought I was functioning well, both in life and with Jon.

While having dessert watching a movie together one evening, Jon made a request that had actually been on my mind as well. He wanted a pass on the first rule for like 1 minute. There were questions that were eating away as us that needed some resolution.

"Ok" I said. "But there is a time limit and we go back to complete denial once we are done. Agreed?"

"Yep," he said.

I asked, "Do you want to go first"?

He looked at me and said, "you have questions too?" And nervously added, "for me?"

"Yep," I said.

"Ok" he said, "I can go first, but we won't edit. We will be straight out honest and unfiltered. Ok?"

"Agreed," I said.

"When I was with Judy, the thing that made the most connection, that made the most difference to me was making her happy. I want to do the same for you."

"But Jon, I think it was pretty obvious that you did something for me and that definitely made me happy. I was 'happy' several times in fact. And being completely honest, I have never felt anything like that in my life. I think it rewired my brain."

"I know," he said, "I heard it all, but I did not directly do that. It was mostly you. That's all I wanted to say."

"Well," I said, "Judy will be back soon, and I know that she loves what you do for her, so is that good enough?"

"Not really. I keep wanting to make that connection between us stronger."

"I don't know Jon. I don't think I could ever do anything like that with you again, It was just too unsettling, too powerful, too disturbing. Although we have done 'something' that is definitely not supposed to happen between mother and son, it at least had some limits that I don't ever want to cross."

I was not sure what exactly he had in mind, and I was too timid to ask. Even though we were supposed to be completely open and honest, I could not go there. I was still struggling with my reaction last time and how my lust overcame every rule and limit I set. Was it his power over me, or my weakness to my own desires, or still something else.

Silence overtook us for a minute, then he asked, "so you have a question?"

"Yes" I said. "While we were doing, well, what we were doing," again not using the words somehow made me think the whole thing more remote, "could you see me?" He paused for a moment. I said, "honest."

He looked up at me, and said, "yea, the blindfold turned sideways a little and I could see if I turned my head a bit, which I did because I could not help it. You were screaming and moaning and bouncing around and I was a little worried and really curious. I'm sorry. I broke the second rule."

"What did you see?" I asked. There was something in me that wanted to hear him say it, which was a bad sign. I think part of me wanted him to see me like that, writhing all over the place covered like that. But really, am I that messed up?

He finally said, "really?"

"Yea," I responded, "I'm not embarrassed" (again a lie).

"Ok," he took a deep breath and continued "you were on the couch, naked, rubbing yourself, and your other hand was wrapped around my penis. You were thrusting your, you know, up and down and then I ejaculated all over you."

Why do people keep saying that? I immediately felt myself throb. It's ridiculous.

He continued, "you are really in good shape and you looked so beautiful, and I think seeing you made me ejaculate more than I ever had before".

Before I knew it "I'll say" slipped out of my mouth, and then quickly "Ok", "OK, that's good enough".

"I also saw you let some shoot into your mouth."

"Jon"! And then more softly and embarrassed, "stop" as I unconsciously slid my tongue across my lips. He smiled at my discomfort in a teasing way and stopped as asked.

Then, "I also heard you upstairs afterward".

"Ok, that is enough of breaking the first rule. Now back to what we were doing before. You know what I mean". Even in the dim light of the room I could see the bulge stretching out his jeans. Once again I was completely confused, torn in two, and wet. I have no power over this situation, I thought, I am just a submissive slave to my desires.

I knew with Judy's pending return, I could probably put this off long enough to let her take care of it and I could go back to my fantasies without involving him. I just needed to be strong enough to not cave into my own desire, to talk myself into making that next connection as he suggested. We were practically there already, and it had not caused us to go immediately to hell, had not ruined our relationship, had in fact improved our connection and caring for each other. He seemed as well adjusted as I have ever seen.

What if I allowed us to take a more direct approach with each other? Not by fucking, that would be just way too weird and perverse. I could not imagine the intimacy of his cock in me, and was sure that would be too far to come back from. But maybe something else, something less invasive could be just as participatory as he needed. Oh geeze, I need another run, I thought.

He still needed to have a life, he still needed to move on and form normal healthy age-appropriate relationships. If Judy or I became the end all, be all of his life he would never develop. It was a lot to balance against the immediate needs he had to find some peace and adjustment in the short term. I was not prepared for all of this. When Judy helped him it all seemed so clean and neat and safe for him and me. Now that I had involved myself at this level, I did not have a road map as to how to end it, to clean up the mess, and certainly not for taking additional steps into the abyss.

I struggled between the long-term issues, the immediate need and my own completely wrong thoughts. It had been so perfect the last time we did this though, at least that was the effect on me. I considered the results on him, which were undeniable and more positive than hoped for. The long-term effects were unknowable, and not something I could dwell on. And my own desires appeared to be insatiable, so there was that.

While at the table the next weekend morning I asked for another suspension of the first rule. "Ok," I said, "I have thought about what you said and how you need more to make a connection that you feel would help you. The most important thing to me is that you keep progressing. And if we are considering this, that we do what's needed in a healthy way. In a way that does not destroy our relationship as mother and son or make your life more complicated or confusing. We seemed to have done pretty well with, well, what we did last time, right?"

He nodded.

"We have a solid relationship, we care about each other, we support each other." "What do you think?" I asked. He shifted in his seat nervously; I could tell my need to discuss things in detail and the sharing of my thoughts and feelings was something that did not come totally naturally to him. Well, to any guy really.

Looking only at his hands on the table, he tried to spit out what he was thinking. "I think, that I am better now than I have ever been. I have been making friends and going places, with actual people. I have more confidence, I don't beat myself up as much, I think that everything that you thought could be improved by what you and Judy did for me, is improved. But I know that you think that this is wrong."

I said, "well, it is, isn't it?"

"I don't think so. I really don't, and I wish you could see things the way I do so that you could know that you are doing everything perfect. If you don't want to do this anymore, I am ok with that. I will get by. It's way more important that you be happy than any of the other stuff."

He was giving me an out. I was not expecting this and I would have thought that it would have brought me back to my senses on whether I would do anything more with him. Suprise, it did not.

"Jon," I said, "I am willing to try. Nobody knows when Judy will really be back and we are at a major decision point in what we are doing. If you feel strongly that we are doing the right thing, then I will be ok with trying again. Yea, I have a lot of reservations, and concerns, but I want to help you (but really me too). It's what I am here for as a mom. And if that means this, then ok."

Just the thought of agreeing to doing this with him again caused my body to react, without any other inputs I was totally aroused. He looked at me as I flushed, probably knowing what was happening to me, and wondering why I was the way I am. Me too, I kept thinking as he kindly looked away.

"I have some rules, of course."

He looked back with a grin and said "of course."

"The first rule is the same. I don't want us talking about this stuff. We keep it buried as deep down as possible and just forget it when it bubbles up in our consciousness. The second rule is the same too. You wear a blind fold and you do not peek. I can't take back what you saw last time, but I can at least not add to it. Last, I direct what we are going to do. We are not going to become as familiar as you were with Judy. It's just too weird. If you want to do that with Judy when she gets back, that's fine, you can work it out with her. But we have to limit what we do."

I was kind of purposely saying it that way to not exclude something that I had fantasized. I might not let it happen, but if I did, I thought it would be somehow less questionable.

He was considering my updated rules and wondering why I was talking that way, and what I exactly meant. I gave him a stare and just said, "I'll show you. But for now, we both go take showers. We need to be clean for this."

Off he went, bounding upstairs with his bulging pants to the shower. I followed him up to mine with a spring in my step as well.

"Have you heard of oral sex" I said as we sat on the same couch in the garden room. I literally had not been in the room since that last time, figuring that the memory would be too present.

It was.

As I sat on that couch I began to react down there from the vividness of the memory. I also thought, and this is probably not possible, that I could still smell the semen. The room had been cleaned by the maid, the couch by an upholstery cleaner. There was just no chance, but every time I took in a deep breath, I was still sure I could.

I had the room rearranged a bit. It became clear to me as I thought about this last point that I had been planning this for weeks. That I had been telling myself that I was not going to do anything like that again with Jon, that I was in control and had done my duty, holding place till Judy got back. But there was this room, with the couch rotated so that one could look out to the windows, but also to a full-length mirror on the other wall. I could not deny at that moment that I subconsciously was thinking about the next time I was in there with Jon and how much that mirror would reflect. It's been like this the whole time, one part saying no, the other part scheming.

He answered with a nod. "Judy"? I asked. Another nod. "Well, this is what I have in mind. I think you can get that connection, can touch me and make me 'happy' like you want, without us being quite so intimate. I might be able help you with that", looking down at his bulge, "as well." "OK," he croaked. It was nice to see how nervous this made him, kept me more in control I thought.