The Actor Ep. 06

Jake sniffed. "You felt it too? That was crazy." As they wiped the tears out of each other's eyes he kept one arm wrapped solidly around her. "I thought you liked my cabin," he gently teased.

"In my book, bucolic means shitty," she teased back.

"You are... so special to me. I love you so much." Jake's eyes filled with tears again. "I'm sorry I doubted you. It's just that my ex-wives left as soon as the money ran out, and every woman since then has tried to make me into some... some other version of me that wasn't me, and--"

"Shhhh, Daddy. I got you, okay? I'm me, I'm not them, I love you for who you are. It's you and me, mister. Well, you and me and this bucolic paradise."

"Speaking of bucolic, I told Clint about the movie shit this afternoon. He offered to kick them out of the ranch but I told him not to, we need the money. So he said you and I should stay in a guest room until he and Marcy go to Arizona, then we should move into their quarters until spring."

"And you said?"

"I told him that as much as you really love this love shack, you could probably be persuaded to leave it for a room with a shower, and heat, and electricity."

She giggled. "Good boy. That would have been something to fight about."

- - - - -

The next day, Jake's phone rang. He sighed when the name came up on the screen. "Hey, asshole."

"Jake, I'm sorry I couldn't call before now, they wouldn't let me."

Jake didn't recognize the gravelly, scratchy voice, it certainly didn't sound like the guy whose name was his display. "Where's Myron, who is this?"

"It's me, Jake, your agent, Myron. I've been in a coma. I woke up yesterday but they wouldn't let me call you or anybody, not even a text."

"A coma?" Jake expressed his shock.

"I don't remember it, but apparently I got in a car wreck right after the meeting with Warner Brothers where I... where they told me that you were being let go. I'm sorry, my friend."

"I'm... I'm sorry about what happened to you. You gonna be okay? You sound terrible."

"I've been better, no doubt, but they say I will be up and around in a couple of days. I've been intubated for about six days and it fucks up your throat. The nurse is already telling me I've talked too long on the phone. But Jake, someone planted a rumor that you are using again. I don't know who it was but I will try to find out. What did you do yesterday?"

"Well, I hadn't heard from you so I just went ahead with my last instructions to meet them yesterday morning at the corral. It was pretty fuckin' embarrassin', humiliatin'. But it makes sense now, hearing this."

"I'm so sorry, Jake, truly I am, for all of it. I was so angry that day I guess I missed a red light. But I can get back on your case and we can get something else going--"

"Myron, stop. It's okay, I don't think I'm cut out for the Hollywood kind of life anymore. I'm just goin' to keep livin' more simply with my woman up here. I... don't want you to look for any more roles for me, okay? I'm good."

Myron didn't say anything for quite a while. "That girl of yours, she seemed real special."

"She is. We're gonna get married in the spring; why don't you come up?"

"Not sure I'd make a good cowboy,'' Myron joked. "Can you actually see me in a plaid shirt?"

"Yes I can, and a big black hat!" They both laughed, then promised to stay in touch before disconnecting the call.

- - - - -

Three days later, Jake went into the office to ask Jamie about the fall inoculation schedule but found her crying at her desk instead.

"It's my fault," she blubbered, her makeup running down her blotchy face.

"Honey, it's all right," Jake soothed. "What's your fault?"

But she couldn't answer him, she just handed him her phone. He saw that she had her messages open and it said "Chad" at the top. He read the message out loud.

"Hello bitch. I just read on Variety.com that Jake lost that leading role to Sam Elliot. Remember when you dumped me and I said I would get you back? Here you go! Enjoy!"

Jake put the phone down. "I don't understand. How would he have anything to do with Montana Skies Again?"

Jamie sighed and composed herself. "We were here, on that first trail ride, when he recognized you. He was blathering on about having a best friend in the business and this guy would tell Chad how hard the industry was and some other shit."

"Okay... and?"

"I didn't remember until just now," she continued. "He said his friend worked at Warner Brothers. Chad heard you telling us that back then you drank and used drugs and were philandering with lots of women. I don't know how the hell he knows we are together now, but he does. And he got you fired. Because of me. Because of me!" Jamie dropped her head and began crying again.

"Shhh!" Jake got down on his knee to hug her in her chair. "Hey, now, it's not your fault! I don't even care about the fuckin' series anymore. It's a horseshit industry anyway."

Jamie lifted her head, her eyes wild. "I'm... I'm gonna go down there and... and... and I'm gonna kill him!"

"Well, yeah, we could do that." Jake said quietly. "Or... maybe... we just live our lives without him. He's a piece of shit and he always will be. He will never know happiness like you and me. So maybe we don't throw our lives away over a squishy turd of a human."

Jamie sighed deeply. "You're right, of course. But if we invited him up here he would be a lot easier to kill," she joked.

"Honey, I appreciate your devotion, but I think you've been watching too much TV. That idiot gave me a gift, you. And he put us to a very hard test that we passed with flyin' colors. You and me? We've got smooth sailing from here on out. Fuck that guy and let him wallow in his own shit down in LA. Tell you what." Jake rose up and pulled her with him. "Clean up those tears and fix your eyes a bit, thenI will send him a selfie of us looking as happy as can be. That will really fuck with him."

They took that closeup selfie a few minutes later. Then, late the next day, they grabbed ahold of Jimmy to take a few more pictures. One of them had the setting sun hitting their faces, their eyes blazing with true love and devotion. Next, they mounted their horses and turned towards the sun with Jimmy behind them. It was another perfect shot. And while it wasn't much of a punch compared to what Chad had done, each of them hoped it would be a small measure of payback to the jack-wagon who'd tried to ruin them.

"Okay, you guys," Jimmy instructed, "now hold hands." He snapped several shots. "Okay, come and take a look."

"Holy hell," Jake exclaimed after looking at the ten shots.

"Jimmy, you're amazing," gushed Jamie. "You can sort of tell it's us, but it's nearly a silhouette, too. And the colors of the sunset, you got them perfectly."

"It's just the right amount of cheesy," Jimmy explained. "Two people in true love, holding hands, riding off into the sunset together. It's cheesy, but it's real, knowwhatimean?" Jimmy sniffed a little. "It's the best picture I've ever taken!"

Jake texted three pics to Chad along with a short message: If you hadn't been such an asshole, we would have never found so much happiness. Thanks for being you!

Epilogue: Spring

The bright sunlight shone on the happy couple standing on the manicured lawn in front of the Bar G Lodge. The pastor announced, "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss!"

Jake, resplendent in his best western-style tuxedo, picked up the very lovely Jamie in her elegant, lacey white dress and kissed her amid loud whoops and hollers and applause from their friends. Champagne and beer materialized, and the reception began at once.

Jamie, having proven her worth in such a short time last summer and fall, had become everyone's favorite. Jake managed to get her for the first dance, but her dance card seemed full after that as all the cowboys eagerly lined up for their turns. The ones not dancing seemed hell-bent on getting Jake drunk with shots of moonshine from Darryl's still. He stayed upright, if a bit wobbly.

The happy couple did dance a few more times before it began to get dark, and then Clint and Marcy waved them over to their table.

"You two seem to be having a hell of a time!" Clint roared as the couples exchanged hugs.

"Oh!" cried Marcy. "We just love you both so much and are so happy for you both!" She and Jamie hugged for an extra-long time, both of them in tears.

Clint pulled out a chair for Jamie. "Well, now, why don't the both of you sit down for a moment. Marcy and I have a little wedding present for the both of you. You know... me and Marcy have always thought the world of you, Jake. And now you've brought us this wonderful gal, Jamie. We could never have kids, and now, well, it's like you are our kids. Of course, I always wanted a son that was younger than I was."

"I am younger'n you, you old fart!" Jake retorted, laughing. "But thanks, Dad. You know I love you both."

"You two," Jamie began, "have shown me so much kindness and love..." Her voice cracked and she struggled to continue. "You're kind of like my mom and dad now."

"Aww, sweetheart, we're just so glad you and Jake found each other." Clint reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a thick envelope. "We got something for you both. It ain't money, but it might be better than that."

Jake and Jamie looked at each other, then opened the envelope to find a multi-paged legal document.

"Basically," Clint began, "it says you get 25% of the ranch today. Then--"

"Holy shit!" gasped Jake.

"Quit interrupting, son! You'll get another 25% at the end of this year, assuming certain financial goals are met that I'm sure you will hit. Then, after me and Marcy die, you'll get the other half."

"I... don't know what to say," blubbered Jamie.

"Thanks, Clint, from the bottom of my heart." Jake's eyes were glassy with emotion.

"You two will come live in the big house, of course. Now, you won't get a giant salary, but nearly all your expenses are paid for by the ranch, so you'll make out pretty well. Me and Marcy got a small spread in Payson, Arizona. We're retiring there, but I'll still come up now and then to check in on you. Now..." Clint looked around and caught the eye of one of the servers. "Let's get some champagne over here!" he called, and one of the servers immediately appeared, quickly filling four glasses.

Clint raised his glass. "A toast to our new children, may your lives be filled with happiness and joy, and may you both lean on each other in hard times so you can come out the other side stronger people. We love you and... best of luck!"

Jake drank half of his champagne, as did Marcy and Clint. But he noticed Jamie didn't drink any. "Hon, it's bad luck not to drink after a toast."

"Well!" she said, her eyes shining brightly. "It's even badder luck to drink while one is, shall we say, with child!"

Jake stammered, "We're...you're... I mean really? A baby?"

Jamie nodded, her eyes full of tears. Jake leaned over in his chair to hold her and they cried happy tears together.

"Is it, is it a boy or a girl?" he finally asked.

"It's too early to tell," she said, wiping her eyes. "But if it's a boy, I was thinking we might call him Clint. And if it's a girl--"

Marcy interrupted, "Well, you ain't calling her Marcy! That's one of those dying names, you know?"

Jake looked into his wife's eyes. "Marcy would be just fine. Our little girl will be so pretty she will reverse that trend."

"I hope it's a boy," Jamie whispered.

Jake leaned his forehead against hers. "Doesn't matter to me. We will raise him or her right here on this ranch, together, you and me, no matter what."

"Remember, you promised me twenty years, cowboy." Jamie looked deep into Jake's eyes.

Jake pulled her from her chair over onto his lap, where he held her tightly. "Hell with that, Babygirl. I'll give you twenty-five"

"Damn right you will, Daddy!"

- - - - -

Written by:

Mojavejoe420

Melanieatplay

Edited by:

Pat Harvey

Written on:

Google Docs

Catering:

Yeah, right

Promotional Director:

Same as the Caterer

Post-Credits Scene

The cold wind blew down Sixth Street as the night grew darker. As cities go for homeless folks, Los Angeles, with its temperate climate, certainly wasn't the worst. Still, the nights got pretty damn cold if one was unprepared. Homeless people were tolerated on the outskirts of downtown L.A., where one could basically build a plywood shack right on the sidewalk and the cops wouldn't bat an eye.

Chad grew anxious as the line for the Midnight Mission Homeless Shelter moved slowly forward. He'd never gotten to the line this late at night and feared they might fill up. Sure enough, just as he'd rounded San Pedro street and gotten out of the wind the sign for the mission went dark, which indicated that they were full. A collective groan rose from the crowd as they slowly dispersed, trying to figure out where to spend the night.

Chad thought of calling his mom, but she had made it very clear she never wanted to see him again after she found he had taken all the money from her secret stash in her house, over $3,500.

I could have been a little wiser with that money, he admitted to himself. Instead of finding some super-low-budget hotel, he set himself up fairly nicely at an Ayres Suites, only to be kicked out after less than a month when his cash ran out.

That's okay, I just gotta find somewhere out of the wind. After an hour's search, Chad found a nice little nook that he could scrunch up in. Some scrounged cardboard provided a little insulation from the cold concrete and might make the night tolerable. He jammed his hands into his cargo-pants pockets and his right hand found his phone where it always was. He took comfort in his smartphone. Sure, he often told himself, I've lost some things, but I still have my phone. And that makes me better than all these other homeless losers.

He checked to make sure he was alone, and then he pulled it out. Just for a few moments, he told himself, but he winced at the 4% battery indicator. Just a quick look, then. He opened up his photos and quickly scanned past the last few of Jamie and that fucking cowboy until he found the one he wanted: a photo of Jamie in her bathing suit from a day they'd spent near the Newport Beach pier last year.

Look at those tits! I used to suck on those big jugs, and fuck them sometimes, too. And I can just see a bit of camel-toe...

But Chad had forgotten one of the cardinal rules of being homeless, and that was to never ever let it be known that you have something valuable. The glow from his phone proved to be very attractive to a few guys across the street. Chad fought really hard, but in the end he lost his phone, his cardboard, and his two front teeth to the miscreants.

"You fuckers!" he yelled after them, spitting out blood. But he took off running when they turned around and headed back towards him.

Fuck! he whined. Why can't I ever catch a break?

- - - The End - - -