All Comments on 'The Addams Family'

loved it

hope you do another chapter

Great story 4*, one comment it was thought to follow at times….

what was this? it was as interesting as stero instructions

WEIRD I have read it twice and I still do not know what it is all about SORRY (jaybee186)

"I told my Mom, no... I grab my binoculars and scope out the enticing red-haired lady next door."

What question did she ask?

I only got a few more paragraphs in, you need more than gramarly. Even you rereading should have noticed his mom didn't ask anything, he is just an 18 year old creep.

What started off as an 18 year old soon made him seem more like an older adult. It should have ended there. Then you could have had your other stories separate and make more sense by themselves. Otherwise it was a jumble of ideas.

Well, I could say it was a bit lacking in ideas, but if there were any more ideas, there wouldn't have been enough text to interconnect them.

Oh, that is right there wasn't enough text to connect the ideas as it was.

What on God's earth was this all about?

Had to stop reading by the time you got to his party. A bit of advice: Pick a perspective, and stick with it; when you keep jumping from first person narrative to third person narrative, you make the story extremely difficult ti follow, and virtually unreadable. Maybe go through and clean things up with repect to that, and resubmit it?

where was the scary horror?

where was the bother and sister?

sure the disjointed DNA test scene "revealed" something, but what it revealed was never told to the audience

Grammarly failed you, starting with the fourth sentence; stopped reading this crap when you disparaged. President Biden.

Needs work. Not the story, You. The story needs rewriting, or reinventing. I think it might be a decent plot idea, but the writing is so distracting and disjointed that I could not get engaged. Keep trying, but get help.

You lost me when he grabbed his 9 inch cock. Indicated a certain lack of imagination. Correct grammar and spelling is the bread and butter of the novelist trade, so blaming grammar and spelling mistakes on a computer program is actually worse than actually relying on it.

Disjointed was exactly the word that came to mind as I read this piece, and I completely agree with Anonymous below. Very difficult story to keep thoughts straight. Sorry, I won't even look at your other efforts.

Wired story jumped around all over the place....UT was like a bunch of

movie trailer a strung tighter. Never really got it.

Thing was doing handjobs in the parlor.

Excellent story Wolf. Hoping you plight will be over soon! Loving your work! This is your last story in your list. Thank you for what you've done so far! This one is worthy of 5 BIG ASS FUCKING HUGE FLAMING NOVA STARS!