All Comments on 'The Adventure of a Lifetime Ch. 02'

I'm just guessing English isn't your first language as some of your words and phrasing don't quite work. Monogamy of colours? I lied down on the bed and my mouth hearts are a couple examples. Not perfect, but much better than me trying to write in Russian.

Keep going.

Very good first two chapters. The story line has a lot of possibilities and it was a good read. There were numerous grammar and syntax errors but the story line is what really counts and this story has excellent potential with the ability to take it in any direction you choose. Please write more soon.