The Adventure of Escape Ch. 02

I worked my way out of bed and threw on the clothes strewn about from the day before. As I unzipped the tent I was assaulted by the sun, but I didn't care. So much of my being was still buzzing from the night before. I was disappointed though when I awoke alone in the morning, I took it as a form of rejection, or worse, regret.

I made my less than graceful exit from the tent and got a toaster tart from the cache of food and a bottle of water, then I went back to where Jay and I had sat the night before looking at the stars. I was getting angry. I mean, how could he make me so vulnerable then just up and go like it's nothing at all. I am nothing if not strong, yet he made me weak, and nothing if not immovable, yet my walls and fears crumbled, and for what?! To be walked on? Left behind? Forgotten?

And yes before you say anything, I AM overreacting, but still, it hurt.

I sat there thinking, more like stewing, over the injury to my pride when I figured I needed to change the dressings on my actual injuries. I worked my way to my feet and made my way to the supply bay. I gathered up all the stuff that I would need and headed back to my new favorite perch. There I unwrapped my leg and after a gentle washout left it exposed to dry and hopefully scab up some more then began the same with my elbow.

I assumed it was approaching noon now, but no electronics and not having, nor knowing how to read a sundial, I only had a guess. I started wrapping my leg back up and heard stirring back at camp so I glanced to see who was up. It was literally everybody, except Jay. I was angry all over again. I finished wrapping my leg and moved on to my elbow. This was more difficult but doable. I was nearly halfway done when it started to unravel. As frustrated as I was I took a deep breath and started again.

Just then I felt a hand on my back, I turned to look and you'd never guess, it was Jay. His touch alone had me coming undone, but I was mad, how could someone I absolutely loathed until yesterday have such an undesired effect on me. He sat down next to me and I tingled from the tip of my toes all the way up. He reached for the bandage asking to help, and probably meaner than I should have I pulled away and said I had it. I didn't need help from anybody, much less him. We sat in devastating silence until I was finished. Then without a word I got up and walked away.

It hurt. I hurt. And I hurt him, I could see it.

I went back to my tent and decided to just lay there. I was so beside myself I couldn't think. I stayed like this for a long time, got up to pee and eat then back to my tent. For days it went on like this. On the fourth day Squid came to check on me. She wanted to know what happened and why I was moping. I told her what happened and how I felt. She listened and tried to understand, but in the end she said I was reading too much into it and to give Jay a chance, if only to explain himself. I didn't want to, I was open with him and that scared me. She knew it. She kissed my forehead and threw some granola bars at me and walked out.

I heard them all get up and head toward the woods, figured they were going on a hike. I rolled over and tried to get some rest, mulling over what Squid had said. Maybe she was right but I didn't want to hear it. The zipper on my tent started moving up and around and I knew I was in for something unexpected, if not unwanted. I stayed with my back to the opening and waited for the pain, what kind I didn't know, but I knew it was coming.

Jay barreled into my tent and straight to my bed. He flipped me to my back and looked at me sternly, but I could tell there was hurt and caring pleading in his eyes. There was nothing but silence for a long time as he just looked at me, and I looked back into his eyes, I could feel the hurt in them.

Silence, long and deafening, broken by his voice. It didn't quite match his severe face, instead it was meek, small, subdued. Everything I thought he wasn't.

"What happened?"

I couldn't think, I couldn't speak. Instead, I looked at him, with every bit of animosity I was no longer feeling, hoping he wouldn't see through it. He did, I'm sure.

"Do you regret us, are you ashamed? Jesus, I care, I really thought you did too, help me understand." This time his voice grew, no longer meek, stern and severe. Not what he said, but how, and he cut right through.

Speechless but trying, "I- I... no." That was it, all I had at this point. All I could do now was make a valiant effort to hide the tears welling up, creeping from the far reaches of my soul, surrendering to his presence.

I knew he had me, the fight was lost.

*****

Thanks again to macktosh for the editing expertise. Hope you've enjoyed.